NEL Blog

Archive for September, 2007

So you’ve gotten a number and set up a date. Good for you! But now what? Here’s Colonel to explain all….

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Right this has taken up my lunch hour so you’d better read it!

I have recently been asked on my advice on about day 2’s, what to do, how to behave and how to escalate etc. A lot of the guys are getting numbers with increasing frequency and arranging them.
Most people have previously found their GF’s in social circle and won’t have done this before. In the last 2 years I would estimate that I have been on around 50 day 2’s.

There’s tonnes of stuff on PU but hardly anything on this element of game so here goes……

I am going to write a few guidelines on what to do/how to behave and how to escalate on a day 2.

Now there are a few things I should say here.

The first thing you should always go for is to move venues with her after isolation, and then you have an ‘instant day 2′ This is a fantastic opportunity to strike while the iron is hot and go for the F-close on the first day.

If you are forced into getting her number and moving on, you must make it clear that you are getting her number in order to arrange a date with her and say you will call her with the details of the meet up. YOU MUST get her agreement that this is why she is giving you her number! This makes number closing solid all round and prevents this ‘validation texting’ that women seem to love doing for 3 or 4 days after a Saturday night, with absolutely no intention of ever going on a date with you.

Another point is that more than 1/2 of the day 2’s I go on I never go any further with, the chemistry isn’t right or whatever but expect that this may be the case with yours. Also remember that you are the one that chooses whether you will or won’t going on another- you are the prize after all!

Finally the other thing with day 2’s is clearly knowing yourself what you want from this, is it sex and to move on? Is it an FB or is it and LTR/MLTR? It is very easy for her to assume BF/GF frame from the beginning, and some of the things below may lead to this frame so be careful. It’s obvious which ones do lead to that. If she has you in this frame she may want to make you wait several dates before sex to increase the chances of you becoming BF. More on this later in troubleshooting.

WHAT TO DO

OK So let’s assume you have set up the meet, here are a few ideas that can work for a day 2.

Shopping for clothes for you- always a winner
Visiting a local art gallery
Visiting any local tourist attraction
Going for a walk (for me this can be awesome considering where I live but every city has nice parks and shit)

The idea behind the above is doing an activity together, women really love that shit and it shouldn’t be underestimated. It also provides a good thread and topic of conversation throughout. I am interested in art so if I can take a chick to an art gallery and talk intelligently about some paintings, she will be impressed.

Going for a coffee, probably better done after one of the above activities but still absolutely fine

Going for an alcoholic drink- this can be a winner if you are within walking distance of your or her home!

Venues for day 2’s as has been mentioned before are better if they are closer to one or others of your homes but it can’t always be done due to logistics.

HOW TO BEHAVE

Right, you can forget about all of your routines because they are only good for a few minutes and you may be spending 3 or hours with this woman- you need to convey your personality to her. The single most important advice I can give you is BE YOURSELF.
Most people on this forum are well educated and pretty worldly wise, everybody on this forum has a more interesting life than 99% of chicks (who primarily shop, gossip, go for beauty treatments, and watch TV) so you should have some interesting shit that is going on in your lives to tell her about.

Me personally, I bust them and take the piss out of them and just have a lot of fun, I also tell them funny stories about my past. I have a repertoire of about 6 or 7 that seem to go down well, you MUST have your own material.

Lots of questions will come from her about your job, your family (particularly relationships with mother and sister), your loyalty, what you think of kids, whether you are kind/generous and your aspirations & ambitions etc. These are all classic questions and don’t worry about them it’s normal and they are not shit tests. Answer them honestly.

Going further on with the ambition/aspiration thing, this is something that you should be going on about a fair bit, women like ambitious men a lot. It doesn’t have to be about making money, you may be a teacher and want to become the best you can be, you may be a musician or a writer or any number of other things, it really doesn’t matter as long as you are passionate about it!

It is OK to talk about sex, what it’s not OK to talk about is you having sex with her. This is a massive no no.
I usually manage to get the subject round to sex and talk about it in a natural, matter of fact way. Women like men to be sexual without being perverted or dropping hints towards them. A confident man can carry this off without any problem, if you are not confident in discussing sex with women openly then do not discuss it.

Be polite and gracious, be a gentleman, treat her well and make her feel good about herself, make her feel special but don’t put her on a pedestal though.
Let her talk about things that interest her or things that are topical, Big brother is a good one if you watch at the moment, all the chicks do.
Using Big Brother as an example you can then move this on to questions like, why do all the girls fancy Pete (which at the beginning none would have even considered it!)?
You can then move this on to ‘What type of guy do you go for’, ‘what’s the most important thing in a man’ and then you can ’sell’ these qualities in yourself back to her later on- therefore eliciting value.

I think it is also important to screen women and make sure you do. Make sure they are aware that you are screening her and are being selective about who you go out with, this shows that you value yourself.
Her screening questions are about your family, job and background etc. These are less important to men but you should have your own questions. My fears when it comes to chicks are neediness, attention seeking, game playing and general freakishness so my questions are geared towards this.
Look to what you want and ask your questions.

HOW TO ESCALATE

Ideally you will have already k-closed her during the first meet, if this is the case it will be straightforward so as early as possible you need to be giving her plenty of kino. Perhaps you could hold her hand and then as Dave D says say ‘this is too early to be holding hands’ and let go. This will make it seem like she is the one making all the running.

So plenty of kino and plenty of good eye contact.

I would highly recommend that you read Gunwitch’s ’sexual state’ in the advanced section of his ebook.

In essence his idea is that in order to get a woman into a sexual state you give her the bedroom eyes and your bedroom voice (which is the same as if you were talking to her after you have fucked her) and act in a sexy way without talking directly about sex, this will make her think in a sexual way herself.

His analogy is walks like a duck, talks like a duck, IS a duck, so walk and talk in a sexy way and you are sexy and she will feel sexual towards you.

I can’t tell you the right moment to go for the k-close but it should be way before the end of the date. If it is then you have a good chance of escalating to the point where you can suggest a venue change, back to yours perhaps for a couple of drinks or to see your pannini sticker album or whatever the fuck it is. Definitely don’t say do you want to come back to my place and leave it at that. Give her a reason to come that is not sexual and she will come.

You may end up just having a couple of hours together on the day 2 and have to go for a day 3, if this is the case don’t worry as long as you fuck her in the end you have achieved your goal. If it gets to day 4 (or the 3rd date in her eyes) and you haven’t it’s not looking good but isn’t necessarily a lost cause.

Good day 3’s are meals/DVD’s at your place or saying ‘lets go out on Friday night and get drunk’ both lead to sex that night in my experience.

TROUBLESHOOTING

I don’t fuck on first dates (remember your day 2 is her first date with you)

Tricky but you should have conveyed a sexual state from the beginning, you may have tried to escalate too quickly or a million other things. It happens regularly, don’t worry too much about it, go for day three if you want to, then eject.

I won’t have sex with you until after the nth date.

This again is her putting you in BF mode which is fine if that’s what you want. This is more of a shit test and should be answered with the following response. ‘I hope you don’t mind me dating other women until such a time that you do want to have sex’

Sex Venue.

You must have one planned, every time you go out sarging as well as for a day 2. Enough said.

I’m not a slut.

Same as above really, I always say to women ‘in my eyes there really is no such thing, haven’t you noticed that the main group of people that call women sluts are other women. Have you ever noticed that’?

This is diamond material. If you have her in isolation already then she will think to herself, this guy is right so I trust his judgement, I am more likely to sleep with him now than I was 5 minutes ago.

Hope this helps!

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Cheers Colonel. BTW the Gunwitch product method has since upgraded to an audio program, mystically named “The Way of Gun”. If you’re interested in that program, please use this link:

Way of Gun

This question seems so obvious that it doesn’t need asking. You want to be better with women, of course. But, if you go a little deeper than that and find out your real reasons, it’s going to benefit you. Not only will you’ll be more able to motivate yourself through KNOWING what motivates you, but this can actually affect the way you game and the results you get. Doubtful? Well NEL alumni Colonel will explain why this is, and ask you the questions you should be asking yourself.

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I was out on Saturday soing my usual thing, he was along for the ride as usual. He now has a GF so he doesn’t officially go sarging but he is excellent at keeping the sets entertained while I work on my target.

So I opened up a 2 set with some remarks about some of the weird people in the bar and the fact that she had a top on that I didn’t really like, my target is a HB7, we have a good convo and I knew that if I wanted to I could have escalated this thing and either got a day 2 or a shag.
My wing is keeping her friend entertained Instead I decide we are leaving, said bye, turned around and walk.

I actually liked this chick but it was early on, I didn’t get a number for use later? Why would I do this?

We saw the same chicks walk into the next bar and my wingman say’s, don’t speak to them, keep your head down.
He is cockblocking and the reason he is doing it is because he has a GF and thinks some of her friends may see us with these chicks, also because it’s early in the night he doesn’t want these girls with us all night which is understandable.

However, I listen to his bullshit and didn’t re-approach.

Later on another 2 set, another HB7. Again I know I can have this chick and yet again another ejection.

Later on again I am in a nightclub, my wing is at the bar and I am standing with 2 chicks that have been on my project list for some time. There’s a potential threesome or group sex situation, my wing knows this and in under these circumstances is playing along.

Then a random chick taps me on the shoulder, ‘will you fuck my friend’? I’m like who is your friend, she points her out, she’s a HB6, I say ‘do you want to fuck me’ she’s nods her head. I say ‘no thanks’ and turn round. What I should have done is said yes, grabbed her by the hand led her out of the club and fucked her.

The 2 threesome girls, I could have post-poned and they both know I have regular access to sex and go sarging every weekend. I have individually gamed each chick and both are individually keen, but I want the group scenario.

I then do a debrief the next day with my wing man and he says, “why did you eject on that first set and then not speak to them later”?
I said, “because you didn’t want me to speak to them”. He’s like “yes this is true but that was for my own selfish reasons if it was me I would have ignored you and gone for the f close”. He then said “I think the real reason is that you like gaming women and showing off and when you know you can fuck them you don’t see them as a challenge and walk off”

BANG right between the eyes! This was a staggering insight. I’m thinking he’s right. I only really go for the chicks that constantly shit test, who crave attention and validation and love drama. If they show less challenging patterns and I could fuck them, I walk.

He then mention an ex FB I had who almost became a GF “What about HBNurse you had as a fuck buddy, she was a complete drama queen, and yet you loved her shit-tests, constant drama and the fact that she framed herself as the prize. You loved dealing with the tests, creating your own drama and all the conflict and framing yourself as the prize, it was a real battle of wills and you both loved it”

I thought I was in this to fuck the maximum number of women but in actual fact I have been playing a different game and finding excuses not to fuck perfectly nice and attractive women and going for a mad challenge with some kind of mad chick!

Even when I was in Manchester a couple of weeks ago I realise now that I found and excuse not to F-close a chick when I blatantly could have done so. In hindsight It’s almost like I didn’t want to do it, which I am surprised about.

I am going to reframe my whole game to the ‘if you get the opportunity for sex then take it’

You would be amazed at what the difference between a HB6 and HB9 are once you have had sex with them and are lying next to them in the morning!
Why do women look so much less attractive AFTER sex??

So I am now re-examining my goals.

They were previously.

Approach chicks and game them, play around get their numbers and K close them, and then probably not call them. Occasionally fuck one of them even though you know you could fuck more. Have a fuck buddy or 2 in the background so if you need sex you can have it.
Wait for a massive challenge to come along and then rise to it and game her like you have never gamed before.

They are now.

Approach chicks and game them, play around get their numbers and k close them, f close them and day 2 them or whatever it takes to fuck them. Under no circumstances must I bamboozle myself or find excuses not to fuck them. Build up a large harem of fuck buddies or MLTR’s.
Then wait for a massive challenge to come along and then rise to it and game her like you have never gamed before.

I can’t deny to myself that I like challenging women. This must be part of my overall strategy.

So finally my question to you guys would be, why are you in the game? What are your goals?

Do you game women to show off to your friends/fellow PUA’s when you have no intention of fucking them?

Have you ever found yourself finding excuses NOT to f-close a woman when you can?

Are you guilty of not calling chicks that pretty much had nothing wrong with them? Sex is sex at the end of the day, Woody Allen once said, ‘even bad sex is good’ this is true in my opinion so why behave like that?

Sometimes you can frame yourself as the prize too much and as a result will become arrogant and dismiss opportunities for sex. I regret this.

What kind of chicks do you go for? What’s wrong with the others?

Colonel

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Thanks Colonel!

Guys,

Here’s another contribution from Stevie; a charming rant against the evil of consumerism and it’s followers. Cheers Stevie for this article!

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As consumerism and commercialism take off into the stratosphere, has there been a steady erosion of social skills and a promotion of physical appearance as a compensation?

I say this because in Asia it seems to be at an extreme. In Hong Kong (and in commercialised European places such as Stockholm, Hamburg and London) it strikes me that social skills are dying a death. People stare like fuck but will go to great lengths to avoid speaking to each other.

Guys are now paying gurus to teach them basic socialising skills. In Asia people work 12 hours or more a day in a defined job where you don’t talk about non-work things much. After all, people might get an edge over you if they know about who you really are. Ironic that the rumour network (only among people you have know for ages) is so insistent!

It pays for business to promote cosmetics, clothes etc as the ways to gain happiness. For girls there has always been an element of this. Girls are judged in terms of reproductive fitness by their physical appearance more than men. But in today’s Asian (and Stockholmian) world no fucker seems to talk to each other beyond in a functional way. I hate this because it forces me to shut down vast parts of my personality. No one here ‘gets’ what I am on about – and it is not just the language barrier. It’s the lack of wide knowledge in the society.

I find myself not wanting to talk to the HK girls around me because they are so vacuous and have nothing to say. Sure, they spend tons of money on their hair and make up, but ultimately they bore me.

I remember practising the piano years ago at home. During my practice my sister would regularly put on a dumbass Australia soap opera and over-audio my piano. This made my musical efforts not only difficult but said to me that investing in musical or other self-development skills were to be shat upon by popular culture which had the importance of a goldfish’s literary education. Flush it down the toilet and no one misses it.

I like clubs with hot girls but those screens and loud music are chewing gum for the ears and eyes. They take away from the art of conversation. Is it designed like this to let the thick-skulled and vacuous people get away with it? It’s fine to dance but don’t let the fact that you have loud music give you an excuse not to develop your conversation skills. This is not the case for PUAs but can often be so for the general population.

And so ends my short rant against the people of today whose minds are easily influenced by shallow, fleeting consumerist influences. That type of person is ultimately unattractive because they have such a tenuous grip on their own reality. The reality of others is easily imposed upon their simple minds.

In the same way, I meet guys who say ‘If only I could get another 2 inches on my biceps I’d be king’, but they spend no time practising their social skills.

The other type I have met – some are thin, greying, not rich, and have routinely cleaned up in bars and clubs. I’ve seen them in action. They outdo me and I am proud to have them as friends and as people I can learn from.

Back to basics. We are dealing with prehistoric brains ultimately. Pay attention to current culture for sure but give it a nod rather than diving in so unthinkingly with a double consumerist back-flip which will not bring sustainable gold, or even a bronze medal, at the social Olympics.

Check out Stevie’s Web Site – mp3s, photos, reports and info:
http://pua.zap.to