NEL Blog

Archive for November, 2007

by Guitar_Whizz

Note: this is a somewhat controversial post (see discussion link at the end), and Guitar_Whizz makes the following note before reading:

“I would just say to people reading my post this – at the end of the day you can date/kiss/shag/marry whoever you want (as long as they’re legal of course!) and part of being alpha is doing what you like and making your own rules and realities. The points I made in the post are a rough guide, and I hope they heighten peoples’ awareness, however the final judge of whether you get with a girl is you.”

Ok guys, I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while. What I want to discuss is the subject of having standards and not just going for any girl. Basically, as a PUA you should see yourself as a man of high value – you are the prize the girl has to win over. And as you get more ‘tuned in’ to the dating game and become more socially aware, you will start to realise that there are only certain types of girl you will want to date (be it casually, for a relationship or just for a one night stand). I’m talking about personality type mainly, but obviously certain looks of girl want to be avoided too. You will see that most girl just don’t live up to your standards, and you will move on to another girl.

You see, when you’re an AFC, you look at every girl and wish you could be with her, even if she’s got a messed up personality and treats you like sh*t etc. You are just desperate to be with a girl. You will put up with all sorts of bad behaviour from a girl, simply because you know you can’t get anyone else.

But when you become a PUA, you see the bigger picture and start to see what faults certain girls have. After a while you will be able to spot the faults immediately and you can ditch the girl and find another.

So here is a list of the personality types/traits you should avoid. When you’re talking to a girl, you want to be screening for any of these things….if you notice any of these traits, ditch the girl and move on to find someone better:-

LSE (Low Self Esteem) Girls

A girl with low self-esteem will generally have very low self confidence and not like herself very much. This type of girl will often have a negative persepective on life, and that negativety can drag your mood down when you’re with her. LSE girls also cannot find their own source of happiness from within, so they look for a guy to make them happy and to lift them out of their negative state. This results in them being really clingy, over jealous and very needy. And to top it off, they can be prone to moodiness and being over-emotional (as if girls in general aren’t overly-emotional enough. If you notice a girl is an LSE girl, run a mile!

Ugly older/middle-aged women dressed like 19 years olds

When you start going to bars and clubs, you’ll notice an alarming array of women in their late 30s or 40s, or even 50s who insist on dressing in skimpy outfits and act as though they are about 19 years old. Now, if these women were in good shape then you might want to consider a fling with them like a MILF (mother I’d like to f*ck) sort of thing. But the sad reality is, most of these women are DOG UGLY and usually very ‘common’ to talk to. They’re almost OBLIVIOUS to how ridiculous they look, dressed in the way they do at their age. They’re also VERY easy to pull, and will often make the first move on you. Since they’re older and ugly, they won’t be getting much male attention, therefore will be ‘desperate’ for any action. I personally couldn’t stomach shagging one of these types of girl, and would recommend you avoid them at all costs.

Any girl with a ‘rough’ or ‘common’ or ’scally’ sort of look or vibe about her

Depending on where you go, you’ll often meet girls in bars who are really dogged in looks, and a bit ‘thick/common or rough’ in a scally sort of way. For the most part, these are the types of girl who live in the rough council estates, who don’t have a job and claim every state benefit under the sun. You don’t want to waste your time or associate with this type of girl – they’re scum, trust me. Not only that, but since they’re dirt poor, they will expect you to pay for everything. You’ll also NEVER have any kind of meaningful or stimulating conversation with this girl type. Avoid avoid avoid!

Girls who are bitchy for the sake of being bitchy

I’m sure you’ve met the type – those ‘man haters’ who insist on being as rude to every guy as they possibly can. Now I know that most girls have a bitch shield to some extent, and that if you’re a PUA you should be able to break that shield down, BUT there are certain girls out there who are just plain bitches for the sake of it. If you meet one of these types of girls, and nothing you’re doing works, politely wish her a nice evening and move on.

Girls who seem a bit too ‘meek’ or nervous or generally a bit ‘dull and boring’.

You’ll run into this type from time to time – a girl who is probably a good character and maybe even has a good career or whatever going for her, but who is just a bit too ‘meek’ and ‘unfun’ to be with. She may even be good looking, but she is too much of the ‘good girl’ and not really willing to just let go and have fun. I personally wouldn’t date a dull girl like this.

Fat Girls

Do I REALLY need to tell you why you should not be with this type of girl! One other reason why you should avoid being seen with a fat girl, though, is because it will give you BAD social proof. If guys or other girls see you with a fatty, they may see you as lower status because they will think you can’t get anyone else.

Married Women

Now I know that many, many married women will happily shag an alpha/high status male such as us, but do you really want the hassle and the feeling of guilt that goes along with this? I personally don’t see the point in bedding a married chick when there are millions of single, horny girls I could bed instead. But hey, I’m not trying to preach to you – if you want to bag a married woman, that’s your choice. Just beware there could be consequnces if it goes wrong!

Any girl who is just trying to play games or take you for a ride

As a PUA, you should quickly be able to spot this type of girl and move on quickly with your dignity intact. Girls of this type often chat to a guy and try to use him to buy drinks for her, with no intention of kissing or bedding him. Sometimes you’ll find girls who will talk to you, yet have boyfriends in the bar or at home and lead you on and then get their boyfriend to ring you and threaten you. Now I admit this is extremely rare, but you need to be able to spot this type of situation and then leave before it gets any worse. Don’t rise to it, just walk away and find another girl. You might also run into girl who inisist on flirting with you and even arrange a date, but then always pull out at the last minute – not good. They’re just playing games for the sake of it and get a kick out of doing so. As a PUA, you turn it back on her by ignoring her and flirting with other girl in front of her – what how her IL goes up immediately!

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Now those are the main types I think should be avoided, but I’ll add to this if I think of any more. So now you’re probably asking ‘I’ve screened out all those tyoes, now what type of girl SHOULD I be dating?’.

I think you should be looking for a girl that you’re physically attracted to for a start, And then you want someone who is ‘on your level’, not someone thick or who ‘doesn’t get it’ when you flirt with her. You want a girl you can flirt with who will flirt back, someone who is responsive to kino, someone you can be fun and playful with you yet still be able to have a deeper rapport type conversation with, someone who is not too needy and who you can generally relax and enjoy being with. You want a girl who adds a POSITIVE experience to your life, NOT someone who is high maintenance and a chore to be with.

So if there are so many types you should avoid, is it a lost cause trying to find a decent girl? No! After a while you’ll VERY QUICKLY be able to spot the types I discussed above to avoid, and you’ll KNOW when a girl you’re chatting to falls into the ‘type I should be with’.

Remember, you are the prize, so never settle for anything less than you deserve. You want a girl who lives up to your standards, so never lower yourself to a girl of lower value. Dating is a jungle, but if you follow the advice in this post, you’ll quickly be able to meet quality girls and weed out the psychos.

Best of luck,

Guitar_Whizz

Discuss this post on the NEL Forums.

by Colonel

I have slept with 10 or 11 birds I met on the internet, and met with probably around 30 so I guess I have some experience in this area! I did this in a 3 month period.

I could have slept with more but some were just not my cup of tea!

2 of the girls I pulled I still see and am in touch with and I sleep with them now and again as well. I had 4 on the go at the same time which was hard work but a lot of fun!

Many of the girls on here are really nice genuine girls, one who I am still in touch with earns £80k a year, has her own place and is an 8. I found it hard to believe she used the internet in the first place!

Here are a few tips.

-The best site is www.datingdirect.com (note; this article was written some time ago, and this information may not necessarily hold true for now. If anyone uses this site let me know how it is, and I’ll update this – cas)

-Do this on a month on month off basis, there are lots of advantages to this which you’ll work out for yourself when you do it. You can always use another site such as match.com in your ‘month off’

- When you write your profile get a female friend to read it and re-write bits where necessary

- It’s fairly inexpensive because the first ‘date’ is usually a coffee or a coke and it’s pretty normal practice to go dutch anyway.

- You start the process by an email conversation it’s worth pretty quickly moving to a meet up phase. Generally they always want to meet if they have been emailing anyway.

-It takes 3 dates in my experience before you can sleep with them, I have never had to wait longer then the 4th.

-Women can see how regularly you have logged on to the website, in order to look sincere the best thing to do is email quite a few simultaniously through the site and then suggest that they email you at your hotmail or whatever. You should have 6-8 on the go in this method. Once you have got them all on personal you don’t need to log on to the site. What this means is that they think that you are genuinely into them and not a male slag!

- If you are having multiple girls in this way it’s better to meet up in their local area rather than the city centre, this avoids being seen by other chicks which could be nasty.

- When you first meet them tell them you have only got an hour because you need to meet your sister/friend/whatever afterwards. It’s a good get out clause. If it is going well you can cancel your ’sister’ and tell them you are enjoying spending time with them. It makes them feel good.

- Be really charming and polite and don’t swear if you can help it.

- Although at the time I wasn’t aware I would suspect these would be perfect opportunities to do ‘the cube’ and other personality tests. Chicks love this shit

- A good place for a 3rd date was my place, luckily I live alone, have a nice house which is clean that is tastefully decorated (if I do say so myself!) and I’m a good cook, women really love all that shit and they know they will be staying the night before they come in most cases (Of course they don’t admit it!)

-Once you do have them on the go basically you can culture a girl into seeing them- once a week for sex, as I mentioned I was seeing 4 different ones and I would usually sleep with 3 different girls a week. My brother and his wife lived close by at the time, they were always shocked by the number of women I had in and out of my house!

-Buy yourself a cheap PAYG mobile and have that as your chick phone, it makes life simpler that way, if you get to like them you can always give them your ‘work mobile’ at a later date.

-Have fun!

Colonel

by Wicked

I used to be needy and as well as negative about how people would react to me, especially women. What it guaranteed is that people didn’t want to interact with me creating a vicious circle and reinforcing my belief that it was my job, my hobbies, my clothes, my body, my conversational ability, etc being the reason why people didn’t want to be with me.

Imagine in a 5 minute interaction with a girl who has some choice of men. Saying stuff like ‘people never seem to want to meet up’ or checking that they aren’t going flake, or trying to ensure they don’t flake and all the rest or perhaps even being a little bit cold because you feel if you put too much energy/effort into it you’ll get disappointed – well it’s just guaranteeing that you’ll come across needy. Or trying too hard to monopolise attention, organise a day 2 ASAP, etc… Being negative isn’t good either for other reasons, but consider being needy. If it’s on your mind, you focus on it, telegraph it and it becomes self-fulfilling.

Needy isn’t good, it makes you do weird things as well as the whole stereotype that you’re going to be clingy / suffocating.

Get this… I was talking to a Spanish woman over the net for a few months to improve my Spanish and improve her English. She was low self-esteem and needy (telegraphed strongly by being completely adverse to being judged in any way, and appologising for the slightest inconvenience – eg. wasn’t able to give me full attention while she was working, or couldn’t reply to my MSN).

Now to me that suggests if I dated such a woman, she would be acting all strange or off with me the moment I talked to another woman, or would be worshipping the ground I walked on just in case I stopped liking her.

Well anyway, just after she comes back from a holiday she stops being so responsive. One of the reasons she is counciling a friend who is getting divorced. I tell her that she really doesn’t need to appologise all the time, if she can’t respond I know/respect she is busy. The next day there is a weird conversation about her not being in a good mood because someone wasn’t what she thought they were. And then she blocked me.

That is weird behaviour.

What actually happened I believe is that she was talking to her ex-husband (or they hadn’t fully separated). In a way I was filling in for him, and there were a lot of IOIs. He came back in the picture and now I’m no longer needed (or she feels that having me there will cause problems or make him jealous). Perhaps she was considering me as a replacement and had this fantasy that I would drop everything and just move over to Spain to be with her. This may have been shattered when I hadn’t been able to arrange a meet up with another Spanish friend of mine. She could have told me all of this. In fact she SHOULD have told me all of this, and I would have understood. But no, she acted strange and made it seem like it was my fault. She was making me feel bad, especially as I thought I had a good friendship and liked the company, yet it almost certainly wasn’t my fault.

That is why needy people get shunned. They don’t act normal.

If you start feeling the pangs of neediness or negativity get it out of your system. Talk about it to trusted friends or perhaps us, but then drop it. Focus on the positives and what you can do to get what you want, and you never know, you might actually get it.

by Wicked