NEL Blog

Archive for December, 2007

by Colonel

There are several differences but when I was there, there were a lot of things particularly in Mystery’s stuff that I previously didn’t ever see in the UK but now I do. I also think it’s because he lives in Vegas and lives the Vegas lifestyle which may or may not differ from the rest of the USA.

This can only be applied to my experiences there, because it is a holiday resort and chicks are often looking for action so it may have given me a warped sense of the USA, perhaps we should title this differences between UK and Vegas, anyway who fucking cares really?

First things first, generally speaking British people tend to be more reserved and less friendly towards strangers, this manifests itself when you do approach that they immediately think that ‘you want something’ or your intentions are sinister/immoral or generally not good. British people often think that if someone approaches them on the street or in a shop then they want them to buy something or take part in a survey. This makes me realise that approaching girls outside of socially acceptable places such as bars is much much more difficult here in the UK than it is in the USA. I found approaching a whole lot easier over there and I think approaching here is harder because you get less AI’s

AI’s, I’m not saying we don’t get them here in the UK but American chicks seem to be a lot more interested in checking you out and smiling at you as they walk past or are hanging out in a bar or in a shop or wherever really. This makes the whole PU thing a lot easier over there because you get them a lot more frequently! Again this may be a Vegas thing.

Peacocking, again when I am in the UK I sometimes look a bit ‘out there’. Me and my friend jumped into 2 girls photos and we started chatting and the girls asked us if we were in a band presumably because we were dressed like rock stars- I loved that bit! Anyway you can really get away with drawing attention to yourself here much more.

Buying shit for women. This is a big one. In the USA the women are far more shallow and are interested in men purely on the basis of buying drinks, presents, flowers or whatever, or in other words how much money they have.

It’s all about displays of wealth, especially in Vegas. The hottest women were like flies around shit if the man was flashing the cash, or sitting in a particular part of the club that he had paid a great deal of money for the privilege of being there. I met a group of guys that paid $750 EACH to sit in the VIP room of a nightclub called PURE. I told him if I had all the money in the world I wouldn’t be paying $750 to sit in a nightclub, everybody in earshot laughed at these guys because I made them look like the fools that they were.

The vast majority of British women are to a degree more interested in men because of their personalities and the way they make them feel which I have to applaud them for. I am sure American chicks are like that too deep down, but culturally it at least appears they get told to go for the rich men with good jobs. I do think that British women also go for looks a fair bit more though on the downside. This is why I respect the original PUA’s that worked this shit out. The community there were going against the doctrine and realizing it’s all about how you make a woman feel and not about how much money you have.

Discrepancies in looks. Generally speaking I saw a lot of really hot girls with some pretty average looking guys. They were not PUA’s, but they were probably lawyers, doctors or whatever. In the UK generally speaking people tend to end up with similar levels on the looks scale. I think this is again down to our reserved ness as a nation, the fact that public displays of wealth are frowned upon so girls go for men based on looks more but as a PUA it’s possible to go against the norms.

Looking high status or Alpha in a bar/mixing sets. This was way easier over there. The people that think they are high status reserve tables and try to look wealthy, the girls would visit the tables for free drinks. My wing and I would hover in the middle and meet all the chicks and introduce guys to the chicks we didn’t want. Before we knew it we had the guys buying us drinks, and we looked like the leaders of the group and we all know what they get! I found this really easy over there, in the UK doing that kind of shit is really hard.

IOI’s You have to make sure you don’t misinterpret IOI’s as an English man in the USA. As English man if you get any three IOI’s of any description from a girl then you’re in! In the USA there are IOI’s and then there are the ‘real’ IOI’s that convey ‘real’ sexual interest.

Kino, American chicks are much more responsive to kino than British girls are, again it’s down to the cultural reserved ness I think. This goes out the window when British girls drink and their social inhibitions reduce which leads me to.

Alcohol Consumption. There is a huge discrepancy to what American Chicks and British chicks drink. I realised that alcohol in the UK is the lubricant that enables us to meet and have sex, if we didn’t have it as a nation there would be a whole lot less sex going on! I saw some drunken American girls and they lost so many of their inhibitions I would consider it to be totally immoral to take a chick like that home.

Negging. It worked a whole lot better over there than in the UK. When you neg a British girl, especially a hot one, she will think that you are taking the piss and either laugh or tell you to fuck off. In the USA they take EVERYTHING you say literally so this shit works over there much better, but don’t get me wrong it still works pretty well over here!

Humour. I didn’t realize how witty we actually are as a nation, I had huge groups of people laughing their heads off, and I don’t think I am a particularly funny person! The one thing you have to be careful of in the USA is sarcasm, they just don’t get it. When I am being sarcastically funny which us brits love the Americans take it literally and believe the sarcasm. I think us Brits are naturals with the C&F now I have met ‘real life’ Americans on their own patch!

Grinding on the dancefloor. An American chick will rub her ass against your dick and grind and not even see that as a sexual move. If a British girl did that I would have her out of the club and into a taxi in seconds! It’s totally socially acceptable over there. The dancefloor is a bad place for PU in the USA I feel. I tended to hover around the edges and get them when they wanted a rest, which is to be fair what I do here. If your a nightclub dancefloor specialist then be careful over there!

This is the best one. If you are British and you happen to be in the states then you are ON. I think it’s that evolutionary thing from way back when we lived in small communities, the women wanted to have sex with men from far away to lessen the risks of inbreeding. We are men from far away but speak their language and have a sense of humour. How cool is that?!!

In summary I think it is harder for us than it is for them, my feeling is a good British PUA would absolutely wipe the floor with what was considered to be good out there. We train in a much more hostile environment!

The Colonel

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by Colonel

My wing and I were discussing our previous nights activities on the way back from Leeds on Sunday and we came to the conclusion that the better looking a girl is the LESS likely she is to get approached.

We all know that UG’s don’t get approached, unless its at the end of the night and the AFC’s are mortal and activate ‘caveman mode’!

We firmly believe that the girls that get approached more than any others are the 5’s 6’s and 7’s. The reason for this is straightforward. Your ‘Average Joe’ will find it difficult enough to approach chicks as it is, he will be unwilling to go outside of his comfort zone any further than he already is by approaching a chick that he believes is ‘above his station’ and therefore will settle on a 5,6 or 7.

I have found that the girls in this category are the ones that get approached more simply because they appear ‘more approachable’ to your normal everyday man. I would not describe a guy that has the confidence to approach strange women as an AFC simply because they are a bit higher up the scale.

I was gaming a 10 a while ago and one of the things she said to me was that she hardly ever got approached in clubs by anybody, well that’s a bit of a lie, she got her ass felt a lot and got a lot of extremely drunk blokes who presumably had built up a lot of Dutch courage but couldn’t speak to save their lives!

She could not remember the last time a normal/cool stranger had struck up conversation with her in any situation! She does notice always about 20 guys ‘in the vicinity’ looking at her, which, incidentally, she hates!

All of her boyfriends had come from social circle (an impressive social circle to be fair) and she had about 20 guys that kept in regular contact, that were her ‘male friends’. These utter fools didn’t realise what frame they had put themselves into!!

Anyway my point is this; don’t assume that because a chick is a 9 that you are not good enough for her because she probably hasn’t met a cool guy in a bar for months, if ever!

She will get attention but who wants some drunken lecherous fucking wanker grabbing their arse or talking utter shit to them?

My wing proved this (he approaches anything without fear) when he managed to pull a chick that appears regularly in The Sport (she was a 9) on Saturday night!

- Colonel

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by Guitar_Whizz

Hey guys, had a day 2 last wednesday night with a 25 yr old girl I met in Chester a few weeks ago. She lives in Crewe which is about an hour on the train from Manchester. Usually I wouldn’t bother travelling so far for a day 2, but since I’d been flaked on by a chick with an angry boyfriend this week, I thought I’d go and see this girl. Here’s what happened:-

THE MEET UP

She met me at the station, got into her car and we drove to Sandbach, a nearby town, to find a venue for a drink and something to eat. I just made small talk in the car at first and kept myself in a talkative, high-energy mood.

THE FIRST VENUE

We had a light meal in a bar/eating place, not a really fancy place but a nice casual environement where we could chat and be relaxed. I don’t usually have meals on day 2s, but there can be expections. NEVER go to an expensive restaurant for a day 2, but a relaxed bar that happens to serve food is ok.

So we chatted for a while, just started talking about what we’d been up to recently, then the usual questions about where we live, family, work, career aspirations etc. Got her laughing and busted on her for being so healthy and ‘prim and proper’ – I told her I bet she had a naughty side that was waiting to be let out, she seemed to love this kind of flirting! The conversation got round to deeper, more personal topics, but I maintained the self control not to reveal TOO much about myself all at once.

KINO

I decided to test her sexual interest level by kinoing her (made an excuse to touch her hands by asking to look at her ring). She responded well, so I knew she was up for it.

WHO PAYS FOR THE DRINKS/MEAL?

This was solved easily – when the food bill arrived she just said ‘let’s just pay half each’. That’s the best way to deal with it in my opinion.

VENUE CHANGE

We went to another bar and talked more. By this time we were flirting way more, putting sexual innuendo into the conversation, and kinoing like mad.

ANOTHER LOCATION CHANGE

The more location changes on a day 2 the better! This gives the illusion you’ve been together longer. I suggested going for a walk after we left the second bar. She said there was a nice country track that we could drive to, so we got in the car and drove there. It was an old disused railway track, and since the weather was good it was perfect. As soon as we got out of the car she went to hold my hand so I knew immediately that the first kiss was imminent. We walked for half a mile or so, then stopped to look at some horses. I made an excuse to be face to face with her, put my arm round her waist, looked her in the eyes and leaned in a kissed her. To be honest she wasn’t the best kisser, but it was ok. Is it me, or do women stop using tongue on kisses once they get into their 20s? Personally I love the ‘frantic tongue kisses’ that teenage chicks (16-19yr olds) do, why don’t older chicks kiss like that?

ISOLATION TO SEX VENUE

After the kiss we were walking back to her car and I mentioned I had an hour or so before my train home, and that I HAD to get that train otherwise I’d be stranded. Once back in her car I wanted to go back to her place, but didn’t want to ask directly as that’d kill it. So I just said ‘hmm, I’m thinking what to do now…I’ve got an hour til my train’, and she replied ‘i’d invite you round for a cup of coffee but I have no milk’. sensing my opportunity, I said ‘it’s ok, I don’t take milk anyway, I suppose I’ll have time for a quick cup of coffee before my train’. So we drove to her house.

AT THE SEX LOCATION

So we get to her house, I comment on how tidy it is, just keep talking etc while she makes the coffee. Next we sit on her sofa, casually watching tv, I kino her by hand holding and putting my hand on her thigh, then get closer to her and turn to face her more. Nerves started to kick in because I KNEW a shag was on the cards, so I started kissing her and jesus she literally raped me on the spot! The kissing got more frantic and lots of body fondling occurred. Easily managed to get her top and bra off, she took my shirt off, and so on. Upper body fondling continued and she was loving it….

LAST MINUTE OBJECTIONS

….I THOUGHT this must be a shag, but when I went to undo her trousers she said ‘they’re fine as they are’. It was getting close to my train time, but we were still frantically fondling each other, and I can’t remember exactly what was said next but we ended up not doing any more stuff and getting ready to leave and go to the train station. We got in her car and she drove me to the station. We kissed in her car about 4 times and she was like ’see you soon, tonight was fun!’. So I left in a good mood but a bit disappointed that I didn’t finish the shag off.

SHE TEXTED ME ON THE WAY HOME

As I was waiting for my train I got a text from her saying she had enjoyed the night, she thought I was a decent guy and that I’m welcome to stay over any time I like. She also said that I could’ve stayed that night but she didn’t wanna give off too keen signals. Also, she said she wanted to see me again and possibly venture with strawberries and cream next time (private little joke we had!)

- Guitar_Whizz

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by Colonel

Last year when I was in Birmingham I had a brief flirtation with internet dating and I got shitloads of response from it, there was one spell where I went 13 consecutive days meeting up with chicks!

I had 4 regulars on the go for months, but in a 6 month period from Jan-June last year I slept with around 20 chicks. The majority were internet but I also had a fuck buddy on the go up North and a couple of ‘random’ one night stands as well.

It was crazy but I’ll give you an insight into how I coped with it….

Each girl I decided was going to be advanced to the sex stage I got them into a situation where I would probably go out on 2 or 3 ‘dates’ and then after that it was sex.

After sex I would decide if it was worth continuing. If it wasn’t I would either ignore them (not a good idea) or say thanks but no thanks.

With the ones I decided to advance to sex, thereafter it was strictly round at my place or round at their place. I rarely spoke to them other than to arrange the next meet up (and that was usually once a week). I would occasionally text or email them, maybe 1 text and 1 email a week (this was after I had fucked them remember).

My regulars probably suspected something was going on with other chicks but they never really asked and I never really told, maybe this is they way to handle it now as well?

I once got one chick that I had fucked a couple of times and she was blonde, she hit the fucking roof when she found a long black hair in my bed!! if it was now I would say, ‘I’m seeing other women’. At that time I simply said ‘Next’.

It was really hard work and there were times I was thinking, what I wouldn’t give to sit in on my own watching Sky Sports!!

Nice problem to have though……

• Questions:

How do you handle such a situation? I have thought of getting a little black book and keeping a list of the girls I’ve met, and a few notes about where I’m up to with them and when I’m due to meet them.
(guitar_whizz)

This is a good idea, I did similar, I also programmed reminders into my phone and outlook so I knew when to call or meet up with these chicks

Another thing, if you’re just seeing a girl as a fuck buddy, then after I’ve fucked her a few times would it be acceptable to ditch her for good or just keep her on the backburner? If I kept her on the backburner and didn’t contact her for a few weeks or months I wonder if a shag would still be out of the question? I texted a girl I met in january the other day, yet she was up for talking to me.
(guitar_whizz)

Once a chick is in ‘Fuck Buddy’ frame there is no limit to the amount of time between contacting and having sex with them. I was supposed to be meeting an FB from Birmingham who now lives in Leeds last weekend for 2 hours, for sex on Sunday afternoon. It was only becuase of a minor glitch that I didn’t. I haven’t fucked her for 10 months and I speak to her once a month at most, mostly about who else I have fucked recently.

You must keep some form of contact going though.

On another occasion I had severed ties with 2 FB’s and then realised I was going to be in Birmingham for another month so I simply picked up the phone, called them, gave them some shit excuse and got access to sex again!

Final question, how is good to go about telling a girl that you don’t want her as a girlfriend but just as a fuck buddy? I mean, if I was to say it directly she might feel used, I dunno.
(guitar_whizz)

Basically if you have a chick and you text her once a week and shag her once a week, that frame has ‘fuck buddy’ written all over it. She will accept that frame and go with it (some may hope more will come of it obviously)

I have realised all this shit is subliminal and girls just assume different frames that you set for them. Women look for men to lead, be in control and set the frame. I don’t think you should ever say to a chick ‘you’re my fuck buddy’.

What you will find is that after a time she will say that to you. This may well be a shit test but at the end of the day if she understands the frame then you have done it right.

This is in contrast to ‘Girlfriend Frame’ That frame involves multiple texts and phonecalls, seeing her twice a week or more, doing activities and going for walks and shit together, eating in restaurants, having ’serious’ conversations you get the picture……

You may find your girls may just assume GF frame and initially at least will try to text you a lot and shit. If you don’t want that make sure you just act in FB frame and they will come into line.

Also I have realised by having several chicks on the go at once you become very non needy. In fact you don’t give a fuck about them and this makes you look very confident and they love it!

I belive that men become needy with chicks because they don’t have other options. Women become needy for very different reasons, but that’s another post!

Maybe it is better to say casually you are dating other chicks? It’s a tough one, but by writing this I think I have answered my own questions as well, so thanks for that!

One thing though, in the past I have had girls say to me (after only 1 or 2 dates) ‘are we an item then?’. In one case I really liked the girl and was happy to be ‘going out’ with her, but I actually had to say to one girl ‘well I prefer to get to know a girl before getting too serious’. So basically, was I on the right lines, or is there something better I could say if I get asked the dreaded question ’so are we an item?’.
(guitar_whizz)

You could just do a bit of humour and say something like, ‘That’s so 1920’s’ and then say my Grandma used to come out with shit like that and say stuff like ‘are you courting’ and then change the subject quickly! You didn’t answer the question and just busted her on it.

Alternatively you say something like. Erm I’ll have to get my people to look into it and I’ll get back to you on this, OK? and smile!

Make sure you make it humourous so you are in the ‘I’m joking’ frame but of course as Dave D says, never give a straight answer unless it’s no!

The other issue was ensuring they didn’t find out about each other.
(xavier)

It was in Birmingham, it’s a big city. At one point I had the city divided into Zones, like ‘New Dates Zone’ ”2nd Date Zone’ and seriously considered having 2 phones as well.

For some of the time I had this french guy lodging with me as a favour to a mate for a couple of months and he was the biggest player I have ever seen! The cliches are all true!

In his room he had endless clothes racks with about 50 designer suits, and had about 3000 pairs of shoes. Real good looking smooth mother fucker, half italian half arab and lived in France all his life, never saw him with less than a HB9, You can imagine!!!!

He had 5 on the go at one time, we had to be real careful non of the girls ever met in the house just incase one of them realised that I had been with 3 different birds each time she saw me! I had to do the same for him.

Anyway he came unstuck in a bar when he was out with one and another one came over, he said he ‘didn’t ever imagine British women could be so angry’?? WTF!!

The way he dealt with it was by actually physically running out of the bar and leaving the 2 chicks to sort it out amongst themselves. Awesome.

That’s why you never take em out after you have fucked them if you are keeping them all quiet from one and other!!

Hope this helps.

Colonel

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by SteviePUA

I remember being a teenager walking around the local shopping mall and seeing girls all dressed up in sexy clothes. They were made up, wore revealing clothes, great looking hair, do you know the type? You’d see one and your head would turn by itself almost. And I felt incredibly FRUSTRATED because I thought I had nothing of equivalence to offer. I couldn’t wear the same sexy clothes, I couldn’t wear make up (not that I really wanted to!), and I couldn’t make people attracted to me like those super sexy girls could. What the hell did I have to offer? I was a boy.

*Fast Forward*

Today, since getting into the game in the late 90s, I have learned TONS of things that I never knew in my teenage years. One major revelation was that as a guy I CAN project high value, much as those super sexy girls did to me all those years ago. How does a guy project that kind of value? And this IS all about value. He does it through his behaviour, and to a lesser extent status. Using the techniques of the game, we can project very high value to girls once the dynamics are understood.

Why do so many guys pay BIG money for workshops? We are talking, literally thousands of dollars sometimes! It is because they cannot convey value to girls. The answer to creating value is largely an ability to APPROACH and ENGAGE long enough to display personality.

Sure, you have to HAVE a personality to begin with but I sincerely believe most people DO have interesting ideas and aspects of their lives which, if conveyed effectively, are of interest to other people. Part of the skills needed is to calibrate and notice what the other person responds well to. I have developed a technique of early on circling through topics while quickly calibrating for a ‘hit’, i.e. a response (conscious or unconscious) from the person I am interacting with which indicates I have gained a potential in-road into their experience of life and into what is important for them.

The other major understanding is that the very act of non-needily approaching and interacting with a target can demonstrate the same high value to a girl as those sexy girls back in my teenage years demonstrated to me. Being able to open, engage and subcommunicate value through your communication is, in many ways, the EQUIVALENT of displaying sexiness which we see in a HB.

It is not exactly the same though, because whereas we can see a HB and KNOW immediately that she is desirable through how she looks – her body, her face, her age etc, a girl can’t be quite sure that the guy in front of her is as confident and cocky or as genuine (substitute other valuable qualities here at will) as he appears to be at first look. Sure, they will check out how you look, but believe me, how you look is MUCH less important to most girls than you’d think. It’s amazing how they can overlook average looks if you have ‘alpha’ behaviour.

Look at Pete Docherty. He was shagging Kate Moss. Pete is a really average looking guy. He is much uglier than yours truly. Kate wouldn’t look at him if she didn’t know he was a bad boy rock star. It is his behaviour and status that appeal. He is cocky and confident and makes her feel good (sometimes!). Sure he has social status, but so does the PUA in the club who uses rules of social dynamics to create social proof for himself that very night.

To be sure you have value, the girl can ask her friends if you are a famous rock star, she can ask about your job, she can see which car you drive OR test you behaviourly to see if you are really the person you initially came across as. Testing is a GOOD sign. It shows she is thinking of you in a sexual way. Did you ever see a HB shit-test an old guy in his 80s with a walking stick who talks to her in public?

No way!

If she is testing YOU it is a sign that she sees you have sexual potential and wants (usually unconsciously) to find out if you truly are confident, persistent, strong and a real man. She hopes, secretly that you will pass these tests so you can confirm to her that you have all those qualities that she looks for in a real man. Once you are perceived as having those personal qualities which turn her on so strongly, it often doesn’t matter that you lack the Ferrari. The fast car was only ever a shortcut mechanism for screening for value anyway.

The first of these ways of conveying this high personal value is being able to approach and engage her. By not doing this you are showing lesser value. By come across as needy or nervous when you engage her, you are showing lesser value. By not knowing how to keep the conversation going or by wimping out of a close when the time is right, you are showing lesser value. By failing to pass shit tests you are showing lesser value (even if this includes calling her on them or plain ignoring them).

Do the reverse of these and you are in a position to be emanating value in much the same way as those super hot chicks do.

- SteviePUA

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by LuckyPhil

I’m gonna write a guide to what has been working for me for sometime now. A lot of people have been asking about daygame and if you wanna improve in anyway then get into your local town centre. No music, no bitchshields, no bullshit. Great place to run routines and learn PU.

You have to breathe life into what you do, with your eyes, tonality and BL. Like I say it just takes practice.

1. Go to your local shopping centre. Personally I find going into clothes stores full of girls, very good. Every woman is a fashion guru and in general will not blow you out for asking whether garment x looks good for your 21yr old sister etc.

2. Fluff talk/transition/c + f/A2. You will be able to tell very quickly whether they want to speak to you or not. If they do, go to step 3. If not, you can plough, persist and start seeing how far you can push sets and start picking up on her BL to see whether she wants to talk to you or not.

3. Qualify/Mystery’s BHRR/A3. This does work and gets her interested in talking to you more. My favourite qualifiers are “God I could talk to you all day (reward for something she has said of value, NB you have to believe this when you say it)

4. Coffee shop bounce. “You know what I know this place that does the most AMAZING coffees. I was gonna go there, relax (can run SS patterning) and put my feet up… are you coming? If yes lead to coffee house, if no up to you, n close or leave it.

5. Buy her a coffee and say “I’ll get this one, you get the next one”. Be firm when you say this. Leads for a good time bridge and playful callback humour later. Shows you are a gent too.

6. Pure rapport building. Sit somewhere comfy and just talk openly about your life.

7. Use kino throughout. I always run TD’s trust test as I find it funny and it does show you how interested they are.

8. After coffees are finished lead her away and take her arm French promenade style (put it in yours). Take her to look at more clothes or whatever you wanna do and n close.

9. When she is comfortable with this move onto handholding instead. If she has come this far it’s unlikely she’s gonna freak out at this point.

10. When she has to go or makes some excuse to leave, get close to her and k close (GWM*).

This has worked for me plenty of times. First time I k closed doing this I couldn’t believe you could do this. Certainly livens up Sunday afternoons.

The key is to PERSIST. It took me months of cold approachs and blow outs to get this down. Now I have it down and I’m sharing what works for me, enjoy

- LuckyPhil

* GWM = GunWitch Method. See www.gunwitch.com for free resources on the various incarantions of GWM. Gunwitch also has a commercial product, Way of Gun. If you are interested in this, please help us out and purchase through this link: Way of Gun. Cheers!

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