NEL Blog

Archive for June, 2009

A large number of the people who find the community were not doing too great for themselves when they found it – me, for one.

I was without style, unemployed, living in a tip, chain smoking, over-weight, only a handful of low-status friends, etc.

The mistake is to then dive right into the PUA stuff; start learning about and practicing approaching, openers, kino etc.

But you’re not ready for that – if YOU are new and YOU do not have your life in order then work on that first.

Techniques are useless if your voice is so unused that you sound like Mickey Mouse, and your pastie white skin is reflecting the club lights right into HB9GetAwayFromMe’s look of disgust.

Do yourself a favour and sort your life out first!

Health

Start eating a well balanced diet particularly high on fish, nuts, and berries. Consider taking some supplements for the vits you are most likely to be deficient in – around 70% of people are deficient in magnesium. Consider Zinc also to maximise testosterone production – and vitamin D tablets in the dark winter months.

If you’re particularly pastie – get some sun. If you can’t, get on a sun bed – just a light dose is fine.

Take up a physical hobby – preferably a regular team sport or a martial art. The Gym will work too, but there are many other benefits to martial arts such as confidence, voice projection, mental discipline, etc. Why not maximise your time?

Start washing regularly for god sake. One-two showers a day, clean thoroughly, wear nice smelling products. Every bit of hair on your body should be either trimmed or shaved, nowhere should it be “left to nature” unless you’re going for a ragged head hair/beard joke/look. Brush your teeth 3 times a day, use mouth wash, and chew gum after consuming things likely to cause bad breath – bad breath is a NUCLEAR set killer.

Quit Smoking. End of. You can do it. I did.

Style

There’s tons of articles on style already so I don’t want to dwell on it. Basically find some celebs you like, find loads of pics of them, and get “inspired” by their style. Buy clothes which FIT well.

Career

Get a job, then get a better job, then get a better job. If you are unhappy with your current job, start looking for a new one TODAY. You need to be a positive person in your work environment – it’s a crucial part of your psychological health as much as anything else. But also women have a 6th sense for this kind of shit. If you hate your 2-bit job women will smell you a mile off and run for the hills.

I was unemployed when I found the community. I since found a job and then changed jobs three times, each time increasing my salary and responsibility.

Communicative Expressiveness

Take 5-10 minutes a day to do some voice exercises, focus on VOICE STRENGTH at first. FORGET “Booming” voice, that’s bull anyway. Work on a STRONG TONALITY… ultimately high-pitched and vibrant is way more attractive and a fake-boomy voice.

Shout as LOUD as you can for 5-10 minutes a day… woop, howl, work-out some exercises or google them whatever… get a job where you talk a lot, talk a lot to your friends etc.. start going to loud clubs and shouting instead of whispering.. your voice will get a lot better in a relatively short time.

Spend another 5-10 minutes in-frontof the mirror… communicate with yourself… this is an awesome technique for body-language and facial expressiveness. Do this right after watching some alpha films and you’ll find yourself able to practice some new expressions – girls notice this shit big-time. IF you’re good at communicating in this way it says – “I’m a cool guy, I communicate A LOT.”

Friends

DITCH all the friends who do not support your self-development… I mean TOTALLY cut them off: delete off face-book, delete number, ditch them – they are gone from your life.

Make new ones… martial arts, new job, game dudes if necessary, expand social circle… always AIM to make friends with the coolest guys and the guys who are getting girls. Always be on the lookout to expand your social circle. In one year you can go form having 2-3 friends, to have 50+ with a circle of 10ish “best-friends”.

Done all that? Alright, you’re ready to go pull now. 

RagsToRich

Perspective is everything in this, being able to take bad nights as part of the process. Can you think of any footballer who puts away every goal? Even Beckham messes up free kicks (nothing on the England keepers). You’ve probably heard all this before from lit-ra-ly millions of gurus, because they want your money.

I don’t want your money. I have a different motivation: altruism. Writing this altruistically gives me a massive e-penis.

We’re going to take a different perspective, today we look at the usefulness of your worst nights, at your most pussified. Those shocking nights where you’re pretty much as you started. Not just average or poor nights, the absolute worst

Yeah, those nights.

Would you believe these awful nights help show you something amazing, that they can show you some perspective that awesome, decent and even slightly bad nights can’t show you.

It shows just how far you’ve come

As we improve we raise our standards. The same guy struggling to approach is a year later struggling with LMR (or 2 years later struggling with AA again, check out my progress journal sometime…). We always look to that next juicy thing, and forsake where we’ve improved. For most of you guys approaching 10 women in a night isn’t a big deal. It’s not even false modesty, you just don’t see it as a big deal at all. It’s like putting on the kettle and making a brew.

Having said that, I do like to go into work and let every guy know just how many brews I made last night, how hot they all were, and how far I got with each one. I’m yet to manage two cups of tea at the same time though, making me a tea-chode.

As you grow and get better at this skill with women, you make all these little adjustments to your game. You realise lots of little things that come together to make you the pimp you are right now. Because most are very subtle, you make the next change and forget what you last improved on.

At some point you have an awful night. You get blown out of the 5 sets you do, your voice is weak, you have nothing interesting to say and can’t even keep eye contact with average girls. On the way back you feel like the biggest pussy in the world.

Don’t beat yourself up, you’ve just been shown an important lesson.

I came away from such a night a while back, and felt like shit. But then I started to realise all the things I’d improved on, all those minor (and major) changes. How I was more confident, funnier, didn’t feel the need to qualify myself, didn’t care so much what people thought. And the list went on.

It put a big smile on my face. I realised “shit, I’ve come a long long way. I’m like a different guy now”

When you’re out 4 nights a week and improving so fast, you lose sight of all this. These shit nights serve as a reminder just how far you’ve come along.

Author Bio-
Having been a professional bitch of 19 years, Ty discovered the community in 2006. When not drunkenly sleeping with girls from his work, his interests include computer games, movies and colouring-in books. Ty prefers a more natural style of game, with a strong emphasis on fun and a healthy dose of cocky-funny.

C&F, Take-aways, not leaning in, showing disinterest, NEGing… these are advanced techniques. They are meant to demonstrate that you’re not going to just submit all your value to someone just because they have a pussy.

Well guess what… that shit only works when two conditions are met:

1) you HAVE value in the first place

Most people do not have enough value to be using this kind of shit, especially heavily. Unless you’re a high-flying salesman, or just a super-cool dude already – you’d be much better off working on building up your value. As in, becoming a cooler dude to be around, to interact with, etc.

2) the chick you are talking to is used to guys submitting to her

Most CHICKS are NOT used to this. We’re not in Hollywood here, this is the North of England man… Our girls ARE LSE! Even the hot ones! They are not used to cool guys being cool to them.

Conclusion:

Fuck the disinterest side of shit – you can calibrate that later. First and foremost develop high value, or become what I think of as a value cannon.

General principles:

a) In each interaction focus on giving value, rather than outcome/whatever (Cred: Skill)

b) Show interest/attention.

What is a high value guy?

In social interactions, simply, is a dude who can create positive (addictive) emotions in the people around him. So people think, yea that’s the dude who makes everyone laugh or creates a party atmosphere, or always has a positive outlook, etc.

If you really need some work in this area you may want to consider forgetting about getting laid for now and for 2 weeks make a commitment – in EVERY social situation you are in you are to be the HIGHEST energy, the FUNNEST guy, and DEFINATELY the guy having the MOST FUN!!

Do that  – watch your popularity with everyone shoot.

Then do it 1-1 with chicks – works a lot better than being aloof right?

“If someone can’t chat me up, how can they expect to chat a girl up?” – Sideiei (PUA)

Awesome statement, 100% true. Apply to community dudes you meet… if they are not cool to hang around with dudes, no way girls will think they are cool either.

List of things you can do TODAY to increase your value to the people around you:

1) Always consider the most positive outcome.
2) Become a solution finder, instead of a problem finder.
3) Learn to tell good stories.
4) Learn to have the most fun… the dude having the most fun IS the most fun!
5) Never ever ever whine, complain, create problems, get in the way of plans, or even be TOO QUIET. If you’re in a bar and you’re in a group, and you’re not involved in a conversation - get involved in one and bring a positive energy to it.
6) Get in shape, smile more, clean yourself up – basically become more attractive to look at.
etc.

Be the value giver, the party bringer, the high-energy dude, the guy who makes everyone feel better about the situations, the optimist.

And forget NEGs completely.

See where it gets you.

RagsToRich

GUARENTEED RESULTS IN 30 DAYS!!!

SEX WITH MODELS IN LESS THAN 3 MONTHS!!

IN JUST ONE YEAR YOUR LIFE WILL BE TRANSFORMED INTO YOUR OWN PERSONAL PARIDISE!!

There is only one magic pill in this game…

A shit-load of serious effort!

You’re not in this for days, weeks, or months – you’re in it for years. This is a big life changing area and to get the BIG results you have to treat it as such.

Unless you’re already having pretty decent success with women – lots of kisses, a lay every other month, etc… then you should have no delusions about how long and how hard you’re going to have to go into this area to get to where you want to be.

Noone masters this game in weeks, or months. It takes years of serious dedication. Take Sleazyof mASF for example who now gets incredible rock-star style club lays several times a month. It took him about 18 months of going out 3-7 nights a week, sober every time, to go from a guy who gets a k-close 8/10 nights, to where he is now.

That is a lot of effort, a lot of time, and he’s coming from a relatively very-high starting point compared to where many of us start from.

Be prepared for the long haul.

Mini-guide: Preparation for the Long Haul

First create a deep powerful sense of motivation. Obsess about your goals, truly discover the reasons why you want to become a master of seduction, and make sure those reasons are firming implanted in your mind. You will need absolute determination in order to go through the challenges ahead – so create that determination from a very solid sense of what it is you want. This goal will now become the primary focus of your existence – so be prepared to justify strongly your reasons for putting huge amounts of effort into your self-improvement.

Put the time in field, make the time count, and have a good time while you’re going it. 1-2 nights a week will not cut it if you want serious progress, it’s 3-7. When you’re in field you should be approaching, if you’re not approaching at all you need to focus everything you have on approaching. You also have to have a good time – emotional health plus infield state is too important not too. If you’re not having a good time, work out how to have a good time and make sure you have one. Quick suggestions – meditation, NLP (model someone who’s a party-animal), do high energy shit, find some cool wings who you enjoy hanging around with.

When it seems like progress is slow, think about all the things you can do now that you never used to be able to. Then reflect on the problems you were facing 6-3 months ago, notice how they are less-advanced than the ones you are facing now. Also, remember this – http://www.northenglandlair.com/blog/the-secret-of-human-bipolarness/

Quick Tip: The Rare Successful – The Common Failures

I have found no area of life more challenging than this one – this is the ultimate challenge; which encompasses self-development, style, career, social interactions, social dynamics, fitness, etc etc…

For many many years there have been self-help books on how to become very rich – yet for all the millions who have read them only a very small number become successful. You could read those books today, work very hard, and be successful with money – that is the world we live in.

This area is just like that.

Are you going to be one of the few who really does make it, getting the success with chicks that you want, or are you going to be just another dude who read a bunch of material, did a bunch of challenges, indulged in self-challenge, but didn’t work hard enough to make it happen?

RagsToRiches

The word alphaness did not appear in this article’s title because it’s a word which misled me for some time. I used to think of alphaness as a kind of social dominance -taking control over other people, not being pushed around, etc.

I think that kind of understanding of alphaness is weak, and counter-productive.

I recently accepted alphaness back into my identity after leaving it by the wayside for a long time. What caused me to do this is a new understanding of what real lady killers mean by being alpha.

It means two things:

Leadership – leading women to sex

You are the one taking the lead, especially during anything going on before the first lay. You have to develop this willingness to step-up in all situations, so that in these important ones you actually have the drive to do it.

You lead an approach, you lead the escalation, you lead her to isolation, you take all the social risks (showing interest, going for kiss, etc), and then you lead an extraction.

Leading women is simply the only way you can provide her with the hot sex she really desires. 99.9% of the time a girl will not have the ability/willpower/confidence/whatever to overcome her own social bullshit (ASD) and make sex happen; even though in her mind she is basically begging to the gods that it will.

Remember your AFC days when you would beg in your mind about some girl you like… “Please let her notice me, please let her notice me.” but there’s no way in hell back then you would have had the balls to walk up and tell her that you’d love to fuck her.

Well ASD is just like that. The chick is saying “please let him lead me away and fuck me, please let him lead me away and fuck me.”. But there is no way in hell she will be able to verbalise that or make it happen without your Alpha leadership.

Determinism – maintaining the integrity of your lead

You take full responsibility for the consequences of your lead. If you take the chick to another room in the club and it’s loud, sweaty, and uncomfortable; then you fucking deal with it. You find a way around it, you ignore it, or whatever, but its your situation which you created and you will take responsibility for that. This goes all the way from situations like this, to ultimately taking responsibility for the fact that you fucked her brains out – therefore it’s all your fault that she had multiple orgasms with some random club dude; again we’re protecting them from their own ASD.

Nothing gets in your way – you remain unphased and goal-focused. You can and will if necessary stand alone for your beliefs and your cause; even if a room full of people tries to subdue you.

You are not only persistant in your goals, but also you throw yourself into them with full pelt. This is determinism.

When you approach a girl on the dance-floor by grabbing her hand you do not pat her hand lightly and wait for her to clasp back – that actually does work very rarely but it’s weak as fuck.

You fucking GRAB her hand and MAKE her turn around, then you TELL her to spin and after she complies you PULL her into you. You do this shit with a kind of masculine determination.

The “why” isn’t so important in this case, it probably goes back to some pre-seeded evolved circuitry in the amydla which is about her determining that if she goes off with you that you can kick the shit out of anyone who tries to mess with either of you.

What do chicks do in order to see that you have this quality? They poke at your integrity with something we call “shit-tests”.

Best way to deal with that shit? Develop genuine determinism. Unphased, goal-focused, ignore her shit, lead her strong.

I remember reading a BradP report where he gets all the way to the chicks house, it looks like the chick is going to not let him in. Then he comments his thoughts at the time, “… I was 100% prepared to go back to the club.” Of course 5 minutes later she is sucking him off in her apartment.

Give her the sexual adventure that she has been dreaming of for years.

You have a willingness to step-up
You take the lead
You take responsibility
You lead with determination

You get laid

RagsToRiches

We’ve talked an awful lot about conversation, more than enough for you to go out there and play around with. Tonight we make soap, and do some good old fashioned pickup advice.

What does ‘tension’ suggest to you?

You’re probably thinking about an awkward pause in a conversation, the unbearable tension where you feel this weight on you. You’re riding it out because you’re an awesome guy but you can definitely feel it.

Let’s roll with this for a minute.

It’s really useful to understand that tension, and laughter, are linked. Imagine you hear a noise in your kitchen, slowly open the door, and – holding your breath – look inside. It’s just your cat trying to open a cupboard. You give out a little laugh and smile, you feel that tension disappear.

Laughter diffuses tension, it releases it.

When a friend says something a little too harsh, they’ll follow it with an awkward laugh. When no-one laughs at your joke and it goes silent, you laugh to fill in that void, to release the tension.

A little trick for you tonight. Roll up on a girl and say a harsh cocky-funny line with a straight face (without looking like a psycho), “It’s amazing what they can do with a fiver haircut”. I guarantee she’ll laugh.

You’re creating tension, and she laughs to diffuse it. There’s a careful balance to this, but try it out and you’ll see exactly what I mean. This is the reason straight-faced comedians like Jack Dee work, they create tension which we (the audience) diffuse with laughter.

Play around with this, but don’t overdo it. You’re basically tricking the girl into laughing, it doesn’t work over any period of time, and you’re going to make her feel awkward. It’s cool to see how this works, but it’s not the kind of thing I’d recommend for guys to seriously use. It’s more important that you see how all this works.

As well as using tension to generate laughter, you can use laughter to release tension.

Say you’re running a set and it’s going great, but the conversation’s slowing down and it’s starting to get a little awkward. Tension is being created. By cracking a joke you both laugh and it releases that tension, you don’t feel as awkward now and neither does she.

When you get a good grasp of this, you can use laughter as a controller on tension, and vice-versa.

Here’s another side note on tension, tension is linked to the strength of a frame. You know those awkward pauses? Whoever can handle a silent pause the longest without saying anything or defusing the tension, ‘wins’ the frame. They display having the stronger frame.

Imagine the difference between her laughing while you keep a straight face, and you laughing whilst she keeps a straight face.

When you’re mid-conversation with some girls and there’s a pause, ride it out. Filling that gap or diffusing the tension shows you’re affected by it. Being able to ride it out however shows you don’t place too much on the conversation and looks all kinds of good.

Being able to comfortably ride tension is an amazing skill to have.

(For more about humour and tension I’d recommend David DeAngelo’s “Cocky Comedy” DVDs)

Awkward pauses however, are only one side of it. We also have sexual tension.

Sexual tension is pretty much the same as the regular kind. It’s linked to laughter (which releases some of its effect) and can be messed with the same way.

However, you want to handle sexual tension the total opposite to normal tension.

Sexual tension is great, it’s that brief pause where you look into the girl’s eyes just before the kiss. It’s the promise of sex without the action. Girls fucking love this and you should learn to enjoy it too. Being able to genuinely enjoy and revel in sexual tension will help you out so much.

On a side note foreplay doesn’t begin with you touching her, it begins with the build-up of sexual tension. The bigger the build up, the bigger the release (I.e. better sex).

The more sexual tension you can create the better.

With standard tension sometimes it gets too much and you want to release it a little with laughter. With sexual tension you don’t want to release it, and therefore why you want to limit the laughter and pissing around.

If you create a ton of sexual tension then keeping joking around, it’s going to undo all that. You’ll ruin the mood.

So you ratchet up the sexual tension and don’t release it. You purposefully avoid humour and the release of that tension. You’re making tension work for you.

Bear this in mind if you’re going the sexual state route. For those of you not familiar GunWitch has some pretty cool stuff on this (although I do disagree with some of the other points he makes). You literally imagine yourself banging a girl right there and then, and put yourself in that sexual mindset. Your voice gets deeper, you develop ‘bedroom eyes’ and  have that sly little smile. Also, you project your own – sexual – state onto her, and she starts feel horny for no apparent reason.

Sexual state is a great way to start building tension, and if you throw any humour in it’s going to diffuse this. Of course there’s always times to break this, and you might want to tone down the sexual tension a bit if it’s too much for her or the timing’s wrong.

Ultimately be aware that laughter diffuses tension, whether it’s standard, awkward or the sexual kind. How you want to play with it, is entirely up to you.

Author Bio-
Having been a professional bitch of 19 years, Ty discovered the community in 2006. When not drunkenly sleeping with girls from his work, his interests include computer games, movies and colouring-in books. Ty prefers a more natural style of game, with a strong emphasis on fun and a healthy dose of cocky-funny.

By SteviePUA

I just made a high impact impression on a girl. What kind of impression was it? She left feeling intrigued, attracted, seeing me as a valuable man and knowing where I live in case she wants to call round. This was a pretty, blonde chic, cute, about 25 years old with ample assets. What were the elements that allowed me to make this impression? They are many of the elements I use when meeting any new person. Let’s look at some of them:

1. Context.

Firstly, I was in a context that allowed the interaction to flow, seem natural and enabled me to lead in a way that she found easy to follow. Neutral Entertaining Openers work on this same principle. I was running for the elevator in my building with my shopping bags in hand and she was already in the elevator. I shouted, with humour and energy, to hold the lift because I had my shopping. Cialdini, in his book on influence writes about increased compliance being gained when the word ‘because’, is used after a request, even if the request and reason are not logically related. She held the lift. I then paced her reality by asking if she was going up (the elevator could only go up!) and using humour by saying how my arms would be longer if I’d missed the lift because my shopping bags were so heavy. She was focused on me, following along smiling and laughing.

2. Social Proof.

Accompanying me, helping me carry the shopping was my LTR. She was taking directions from me in the lift about where to put the box she was carrying for me. I was leading the interaction with two chicks. I had the dominant frame. Also it was quite high energy, leading with an element of humour. Think of a good natured boss managing a reliable worker while checking out the potential of another potentially employable helper who he suspects would enjoy working for the company.

3. Cold reading

Sub-consciously, I must have noted she was wearing a blue uniform under her jacket. I didn’t think of this consciously at the time, only afterwards. In the lift, I said she looked like a nurse. She was surprised I could know her background so accurately within the first moments of meeting her. She volunteered to me that she is actually a mid-wife. My being able to know something about her world so fast built a lot of intrigue. Cockily, I told her ‘I’m very perceptive’.

4. Authority

When mentioning her job, she said she worked in the town of Lincoln . I immediately thought of Lincoln green – the colour that Robin Hood and his merry men were famous for wearing. I told her if she works in Lincoln she should be wearing a green uniform, not a blue one. She again giggled and agreed with me. Here is a chick I’ve known for less than a minute agreeing with my choosing her uniforms for her. Now, it’s true that I like chicks in sexy uniforms, and it was cool that she was accepting my suggesting she take off one set of clothes and put on another, but that is not the main point here. The wider point is I was directing the chick, being commanding and she was accepting those suggestions.

5. Connection

With the interaction going so well (and I knew this from her non-verbal reaction i.e. her smiling, giggling, eye contact and from her verbal responses i.e. was volunteering information about her job and her place of work) I wanted to add an element of deliberate connection. I pointed out that it was nice to meet a fellow English person in the building as most people in the building are not English. She lit up immediately and agreed. She said it was indeed rare to meet local people where we live and it was a good experience for her too. I suppose the whole while I was setting a jealousy trap for my LTR who was being kept on hold during the interaction. I walked the chick to my door so she’d know where to find me and told her it had been good to meet her. I left a powerful impression on her.

There were no overt sexual come-ons from me but my approach allowed me to build intrigue, attraction and rapport. It is the kind of approach I use very often in other field situations – creating an impression where the target is intrigued, attracted and connected yet she doesn’t know if the feelings she is experiencing are coming from me or are being spontaneously generated within herself.

In other field experiences, I use the same type of techniques to make a powerful impression.

SteviePUA

It’s not always smooth running… occasionally you have a hiccup.

You have a half-arsed night out with a handful of sets, maybe lethargic reactions and maybe no closes. Afterwards you may think about all the opportunities you should have taken up, all the things you know you can do but for some reason on that night did not. Maybe you even realise later you had passed up an easy shot at a lay which you know you could have secured with skills you have displayed on other nights; but on that night things just weren’t clicking, and you just weren’t on…

When you have a night or two like this it’s not just a case of taking away what areas of improvement you can, realising where you could have done something different or better, etc. There’s more at work here than just technique… there’s a naturally flowing PUA form – sometimes you’re on, sometimes you’re not. The importance of understanding this is to know that a bad night is just a one off, and that relatively poor nights are just bound to happen. There are two varying factors which affect this.

The first is your base emotional state. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t, to varying degrees, have a fluctuating emotional state – I call it human bipolarness. Literally everyone I know has a few days when they don’t feel as great as usual, and other days when they feel totally on top of the world. This doesn’t just apply to PUAs, or even self-development enthusiast, this is even the case for chodes, normal people, etc. Even people whose life remains the same day after day after year still have these peaks and troughs in emotional state. So it’s important to realise that if you’re having an off night, or maybe have just been feeling down for a day or two, it’s possibly just a natural fluctuation that you’ll come firing out the other side of imminently.

There’s a number of things you can do to minimise the troughs in this regard, some of which you may want to consider are:

1)      Regular exercise
2)      Keeping in good shape
3)      Eating a healthy balanced diet ensuring no deficiencies particularly in things like Vit D, Zinc, Mag.
4)      Mindfulness Meditation
5)      Cleanliness (surroundings and personal hygiene)
6)      Cut drug/drink intake; including illegal drugs, minimising caffeine, alcohol, quitting smoking, etc.

The second major cause of performance fluctuations is experienced due to a function of how humans perform when learning to master any particular area. The journey to mastery is not a straight line of progress; it’s a curvy peak and trough style graph. This is why perseverance is held in such regard with highly successful people, because it will be at a time when you are apparently doing worse than you were previously that suddenly your ability will shoot through to the next level. Many highly successful businessmen experienced a time of relative poor performance just before they had the defining success of their careers.

The only solution to this kind of fluctuation is perseverance. It is simply a quality of the human condition that your ability level will fluctuate as you take on new information and apply that information in field.

Understanding of this isn’t really that important, the only important thing is to realise that improvement is not an ever-growing graph. You have ups and downs, so be ready for them: whenever you feel that progress has been slow, or that things haven’t been working out for the best, that’s the time to really dig in, to push like hell, and to come catapulting out the other side.

RagsToRiches

by Shezz

JUST A PIECE OF MY MIND – A TESTIMONY IF YOU WILL

MOULD YOUR MINDSET AND BE THAT PRIZE…

There is one thing in life that cannot be changed by having millions of dollars or pounds

One thing that only being myself and using my own time can change to become a more socially developed man.

Sure if i was ugly and had billions of dollars in my account – i would have a facelift

If i was fat – i would have liposuction

If i had raggy clothes – id buy the clothes fit for a king.

But one thing cannot be changed by anything except a strong character and utter determination – Mindset.

Many examples and articles have been written on the subject – this may be just one of those articles – but before i made myself the person i am today – my outloom on life was somewhat abysmal.

My world was my bedroom – i would venture out to play sports, go to the gym – but i would hardly ever talk to girls – i was brought up with a Mindset that had me beleive that bringing a girl home may upset my mum or dad – sounds crazy, but i would never try to mack on any girls whatsoever – i didnt go out drinking or partying and my confidence around women was lower then whale dung.

I started work about 2 years ago and realised that for me to get anywhere in this world i would have to change my Mindset and outlook on the world. In all honesty im a good looking guy – 8 or 9 and lots of girls would come upto me and talk – im an intelligent kid – i can hold a mature conversation with the directors and chairman at my workplace easy – but before – even saying hello to a girl felt like i was about to put my life on the line.

Of course writing this now makes me understand just how silly i was being back there – not being confident and talking to a lady fluently dosnt make you look like that shy guy that women think is cute – it makes you look like an idiot.

If you were talking to a man – and all he could do was look at the floor and mumble, you would think that you were talking to a damn clown – youd walk away and chances are you wouldnt speak to him again.

So alas! The time came when i decided enough was enough, this skin that i was wearing, this fungus that had taken over my brain the past 16 years had to be exterminated – i had to get a life – but where to start??

Where to start indeed?…………Party my freind excalims – are you coming – there will be loads of girls there! and beer!

This was it – my opportunity to start to mature into a Socially mature man.

I did a lot of thinking before that party – and the two days that i used wisely – put my life into perspective.

There are people in the world who have no water, no food, no shoes or clothes, no home, no family, some are blind, some deaf, some scarred, disfigured, maimed, some morbidly obese, some with eating disorders, some people have disease – that puts there life in doubt from day to day – yet one thing interconnects all of these people together – the desire for pleasure.

No matter how far there lives have fallen, how lonely or melancholy they are feeling – one thing still drives us on – Pleaure.

The reason all of these people survive and drive onwards is because of there Mindset – sure a fat, disfigured person can look in the mirror and see a inhumane, sorry sight who ladies would not look twice at – but my altering his mind – he could change his life forever. Think about your self for a moment and what women are in your range.

Do you have any of the aforementioned symptoms – or are you a good looking, freindly, but socially inept person.

One thing that i deliberately did not mention was the reason that makes going out there and getting the HB’s into your life.

It is the one thing that i think of when i go out each day – people are people, unless they are disfigured or challenged – they have eyes, legs, ears, noses, arms, mouths, hearts and brains – we use all of these things everyday of our lifes – but which ones do we underuse the most?

When it comes to women a lot of guys dont use their brains which means that the words coming out of their mouths are drivvle. Think about it – your attempting to talk to lady, but yet you feel like an idiot! Your scared! Unsure of what she thinks of you – but in reality the mere fact that you are even talking to her as differentiated you from most men that have looked at her today.

Do you get hot and flustered when you talk to your mother? (i seriously hope not or you need help)

NO – because you know that she dosnt think your a weirdo, idiot, ugly, fat, – she may infact think all of these things about you (slim chance) but the mere fact that you think, therefore your Mindset takes over your body and states that this women – your mother is just a person in the world who needs to be talked to!

Everyone in the world needs to be talked to, imagine a world where everyone didnt have a mouth, scary thought – imagine if tomorrow – you were in a serious accident which ripped away your power of speech or even worse your life.

This is what i thought of for those two days, people all over the world, no matter what race, religion, height, weight, looks, hair colour have a voice that needs to be heard – its simple.

I nearly burst into laughter thinking about how scared i was to open my mouth and try to chat to a girl, thinking about how scared i was to tell my parents i had a girlfriend. Hell those two guys must have gone at it like rabbits in there younger days – or i wouldnt be here!

If your shy, unconfident or have any other feelings of frustration that prevents you from talking, dating and laying women then it is time to change your Mindset.

Its not about What you are, Its Who you are – you could be a race care driver – but if you had no confidence or lacked a positive attitude you will always finish last or even worse crash.

Your outlook can be changed in a minute – just THINK! How simple life with women can be if you change your mindset – a lot of my friends who have been laying chicks for years often ask me for advice on how i am so confident – what do i tell them?

I am a person who loves life, loves to talk and socialise with people – because thats what life is about.

Men and Women are LIFE! If there wasnt any people on the planet then there would be no life (micro organisms excluded).

The development of the world is not through technology, it is through the people that invent, create and absorb and use information gathered through the power of speech.

I often see men scowling at ugly, fat, disfigured, older men attemting to chat up young ladies

Young Man: look at that idiot – what has he got that i havent? Stupid idiot!

ME: Hes got confidence, hes got motivation, hes got ballz and hes got a Mindset that states to him that life is meant to be enjoyed – while your standing there scowling – you could be furthering yourself socially by talking to that women over there – why else would they come to the bars in a short skirt and bra?

Young man: Yea – id give her a right bonking.

Me: Yes you would, but you wont!

YM: Why the hell not?

Me: Well go talk to her then!

YM: I will later.

Me: Theres no better time than the present, if not now…when!!!???

Through years and years and years of borrowed knowledge we devise pockets of thoughts that constantly run through our minds, jumping from one thought to the next, preventing us from living in the real world.

Most people today are living in the mind like they are the mind or like the mind is them – when actually the mind is like the body – simply a tool. I have come to the conclusion that we are not the mind because we can witness are own thoughts and to witness your own dreams and thoughts then you must be separate from your mind – because you can only witness that which you are not.

Stop living in a dreamworld, stop living in the past, stop thinking about the future, live in the present or you wont live at all – because soon the present which we are in now will become memories and regrets and the future dreams will become the unfruitioned present – no different from what you are living in now

Your life will become a circle of lost hopes, bitter thoughts and lack of confidence – where the old, fat, scarred guys get the girls and you get your right hand.

Open Your eyes, open your heart and most importantly open your mind and mouth – use the gift that you have been given – theres no reason whatsoever why you cant get the girl of your dreams – except the cloud of doubt that hovers over your Mindset.
Changing your Mindset to become the PRIZE!!!
What do you think of when the word pricelessness pops up? Maybe its the Mona Lisa? Maybe it is the statue of the Thinker? Maybe it is a goose that lays golden eggs – with diamonds for yolk?

All of these things ‘could’ be classed as priceless – Could.

However while many men and women roam the planet searching desperately for their dream lover, dream car, dream necklace, dream home – their dreams hardly ever materialise – infact many a person will go through their whole life living a dream – they will die in a figment of their own imagination.

But what if you already possessed the most priceless object in the world, but yet you always overlook its potential, failing to open it to the fact that one day, in one minute you could wake up and realise that your dream has come true.

An everlasting cycle of wants, needs, greed and inhumane like activities veil our mind and help into peceiving the real world in which we live as some kind of sick cartoon, socialisation and bonding with the own members of our race as become an afterthought in a world plagued with selfishness and our own personal development – but when we actually try to develop ourselves – is that what we are really doing?

A lot has been said and written down in regards to personal fitness – an i am an avid beleiver in this – nothing beats a good sports session or workout, However – why is nothing done to improve the way we want to convey ourselves to other people – more importantly on this site – women?

The main percentage of guys coming on to the community usually start with a query entitled:

How do i talk to women?

Good conversation ideas anyone?

How do i make good, stimulating conversation with girls?

The list is endless!

But there is no article that anyone, anywhere at anytime can write to tell someone how to speak to women – Not even this one.

The person who is asking for help must himself look deep within his own heart, his own mind and find his own inner passion for life and for living it – women and every other thing will then fall into place. If a man lives his life without purpose, without a passion then he is living a lie, his life is a falsification of what could infact be a dream, but a dream that CAN be touched.

What do you do when you talk to a girl?

Fill in blank (in your mind- speak it out loud) ………………………….

You become nervous?
Welt up?
get flustered?
Hot?
Blabber?
Turn into a fool?
Think your a clown?

Analyse the glances of every women that talks to you – your thinking:

AFC: Oh no – shes looking at my hair – it must be bad
DJ: Yeaa – shes looking at my hair – and why wouldnt she?

AFC: Whys she staring at my face? Do i have a zit? oh no!
DJ: Thats it baby – check out the money maker!

AFC: She dosnt like me – she keeps looking away!
DJ: Whats up baby – my looks intimidate you?

At the end of the day – you can log onto your computers and search to your hearts content for tips on seduction, tips on romance, tips on conversation, tips on flirting – but the only real way to learn is to use the priceless material that you have been given.

Your life and the body that you live it in.

Stop trying to be something your not – we on this website collectively try to be Don Juan – the epic 16,000 line poem Don Juan was written by Byron – would people think you were foolish if you tried to live like Lord Byron?

Of course they would – they would think you were raving mad – becuase you have a life of your own to lead.

You cannot be something your not, you cant witness yourself, you can only be yourself – thats why you cant see your self without the aid of a mirrored surface.

But even those that realise that they are themselves and that they should lead their own lives still fall foul to the constant surge of non-stop thoughts that plague our mind on a daily basis.

These thoughts are the fantastical funghi that initiates the barrier that keeps us in Dream-World and stops us from being aware of our lives that we are living presently, because to us – our mind does not exist in the present world. The mind splits everything up into different segmentations.

Eg – The women that we see on a daily basis are no longer looked upon as reachable objects – for the average male – the untapped male – the male without a passion -they are dreams, that unfortunatley will never come true. But they can, and if the inner man, the man with a life is touched then they will.

Lots of articles are written but they arent required – i may sound like an hypocrite at this moment – but that is my view – my life is lived in the present, memories cannot be erased – and nor should they be, but they should not be a substitute for life. dreams cannot be stopped emerging and nor should they – but they too should feature only at times when the life you live now has become so good – that any dream could happen at this moment.

For many men in the community, no – for all the men – there dream is to have the dream women – many beleive they can – those are the ones that will and do get the women that they feel is a dream – but dreams evolve and so do the looks of women – so as the women evolve – our dreams are ensized by the thought of what we can have next.

However – while these men will and do get the women – more men wont and dont get them.

They are the ones that live life like a chore, no purpose and no passion when in there hearts this passion just needs to be ignited

Endless reading on these types of sites can and are beneficial – but at the end of the day – it is all words.

You can revise for an exam from the greatest literature in the world, but unless you digest that information and then divulge it – failure looms.

Think about your lives or better yet – your li(v)es – a constant blur of aesthetically pleasing, middle class men going about their lives like puppets – Women are there to be had – its so simple taht it pains me to write this type of stuff when its just so goddamn simple.

the only reason you make it hard to approach and date women is because of the cowardice from within, your evil self that takes over and tells you that you ae inferior -life is there to be lived so live it.

In London, Pakistan and NYC over the past several years – many peoples lives were taken through acts of atrocity and utter devastation – at least one person who lost there life im betting was living a lie – and was thinking that the dream he had of the lady at his office would come true tomorrow – not today – there always tomorrow – now he wont get that chance.

But you have – today, now – if there is someone that you like, love or wish to go out with – Tell them – dont ask like a child – you are a man – tell them your feelings -there are no tricks or magic wands – except you and your body and maybe your cheat sheet lol.

It is truly a gift – you are a gift – live life and smile – you never know whos day you are making by flashing a smile.

Dont waste your chance or your time.

Sarge On…