A common conversational mistake even community guys make
What sets your average Ty apart from most guys, aside from his delicious taste in waistcoats and vague suspicions that he might be gay, is his not so average conversation.
Tying nicely into the last article (Starting Conversations The Right Way), today we look at a common mistake that so many guys make.
Standard questions, and standard statements.
Consider the following:
“What do you do at uni?”
“I’m a doctor”
“Yeah? What year are you in?”
“Erm…2nd”
“So what’s it like?”
“Yeah it’s pretty good, I really enjoy it”
“Oh, that’s cool”
It’s what most guys do, aimlessly talking. They’ve no real interest in what they’re saying, it’s just anything to avoid that cold, hard awkward silence. The John McClane of tension where you can feel it’s eyes burning into the back of your head and you want to die. Hard.
You don’t have to talk about anything serious or meaningful, the conversation doesn’t have to go anywhere, but you do want to have a purpose when you talk. A lot of what comes out of your mouth should be interesting and/or funny.
I always believe that you should make a girl laugh or think, make her intrigued. Hell, make her angry, pissed off or upset. Be anything but boring or standard.
The problem with the above example is there’s no soul to it, no fun. It’s plain-vanilla cold-hard fact.
When dealing with girls try to avoid cold hard facts or logic, deal in emotions or fun instead. This is a key part in being and having fun.
Avoid standard questions.
Instead of “What’s that like?”, you could ask:
“Do you ever have wheelchair races?”
“Ahh, but can you eat it?”
“Do you think I could pull of a pink fairy outfit?”
“Does it make me gay if I dress up in women’s clothes but don’t enjoy it?”
Modify these to suit your own style. It doesn’t matter so much in what you’re saying, just add some flavour to it, add your own style. If you’re a sarcastic kind of guy, ask a sarcastic question you find quite funny; if you’re genuinely intrigued, ask a question you genuinely want to know the answer to. If you’re in a childish kind of mood, ask a childish question.
You’re not there to entertain this girl, you’re there to have fun and be entertained yourself.
Standard answers are the same deal.
If a girl asks you a question, no matter how boring, see if you can give an interesting/funny reply:
“So what do you at uni?”
“I’m a lap dancer”
“Haha no seriously”
“What, you think I don’t have the body for it? Hey I had to work to look like this, McDonalds 4 times a week. You shouldn’t take the piss anyway, it’s really hard work”
“Haha yeah?”
“Well I did okay on some of the modules, but I keep fucking up ‘working the punter’ “
Nothing to worry Ricky Gervais (unless his next show is about university or lap dancers), but it’s far better than a boring, standard-ass dialogue about uni that just isn’t interesting.
What you’ll also find is, this kind of interesting conversation also brings out the best in the girl. Rather than the standard replies she gives to the millions of guys, you’ve now got her attention and she’ll put decent effort into the conversation. This then gives you more to work with and it’s mere hours until she becomes intimate with your balls. Just make sure she gives them decent names.
And this isn’t just for sarging, get into this mindset of being creative with replies when talking to friends, family or whoever:
“Were you out last night Ty?”
“Nah, couldn’t afford it”
“Haha, blew your wages already?”
“Yeah man, Fat Tony has to be paid. My knees can’t take another beating”
A little rule I always take out with me to the club is “fun beats fact”, and probably the core of my success.
It’s the concept of saying something fun or interesting, rather than cold hard fact. Put more focus on enjoying what you say, rather than being right or correct.
“A pirate did it”, instead of “Oh I just scratched my hand on a door”
“Swift couldn’t control himself”, instead of “I spilt something on my quilt”
Then you can follow these up with weird-ass stories and you’ve got a decent conversation on your hands.
However, don’t goofy or a clown. You don’t want to be like this all the time or it comes across as annoying. You’re not meant to constantly be like this, it’s simply a way of injecting more fun into an otherwise boring conversation.
Don’t be afraid of standard questions or statements now and then either. As a means to an end (not an end themselves) to interesting conversation, they’re perfectly fine. You don’t have to be this clever guy constantly.
Normal conversation is cool too, it has its moments. Don’t abandon just being a cool, chilled, normal guy. There’s a lot of value in just having a decent vibe with a girl.
So take the following with you next time you’re out:
Fun beats fact
Don’t reel off a list of facts or boringly describe your day, put a fun spin on what you say.
Author Bio-
Having been a professional bitch of 19 years, Ty discovered the community in 2006. When not drunkenly sleeping with girls from his work, his interests include computer games, movies and colouring-in books. Ty prefers a more natural style of game, with a strong emphasis on fun and a healthy dose of cocky-funny.