Comments on: Are you starting conversations the right way?

By: NEL Blog » Blog Archive » A common conversational mistake even community guys make

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 15:09:33 +0000

[...] nicely into the last article (http://northenglandlair.com/blog/?p=59), today we look at a common mistake that so many guys [...]

By: Ty

Ty — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 00:34:02 +0000

I’ve got a follow-up article planned which’ll expand on this fun Vs boring concept. For now I’ll give you something a bit more tangible. Using texts as an example:

Bad example:

“Hey it’s Ty, how’s it’s going?”
“Err yeah, not bad”
“What you up to today?”
“Probably going shopping with some friends”
“Oh that sounds cool”

Meh. Starts with “B” and rhymes with “roaring”…

Good example:

“Yo it’s Ty. You know I’m sat here naked eating toast and it made me think of you”
“Lol you weirdo. Anyway I’m more of a cereal kind of girl”
“Booo! Don’t say cornflakes or we won’t be able to have that marriage we’ve been planning. And if we’re not gonna fly to Las Vegas and elope, what’s the point in me working that 2nd job lapdancing at the old folk’s home?”

Or with opening in a bar:

Bad example:

“How’s it going?”
“Yeah not bad”
“You having fun tonight?”
“Yeah it’s not bad”
“Yeah…”

Good example:

“How’s it going?”
“Not bad”
“Only not bad? Oooh you don’t get the Ty award now”
“Haha, what’s the Ty award?”
“I can’t tell you now, you’ll be even more gutted you didn’t win”

Notice in the good examples that I inject some fun into what I say early on, instead of saying the same standard stuff every other guy says.

Obviously you use your own humour (don’t just copy me), but you get the idea. Be interesting and/or funny rather than generic. Be creative with what you say, it doesn’t really matter as long as you aren’t generic.

By: cascade

cascade — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 12:14:08 +0000

Patience my friend! You make a fair point, but don't expect every topic to be covered in every article! Ty's reminding you that the early stages are key, getting into the right mindset then will make it easy to be in the right mindset later. For getting into the mindset and being interesting, you might like 10 Key Points to Mastering Approaching, Threads of Possibility, or Assume Attraction. If this is a stubborn sticking point of yours, you may want to ask a question in the forums, or post up a few field reports to get some feedback. Thanks for the comment!

By: Chris

Chris — Wed, 27 May 2009 12:33:35 +0000

Its all very well telling people (be interesting) but not defining what is interesting. These ambiguous statements really annoy me; it’s like telling someone they can buy a ferrari for 100 pound, but not telling them where they can buy it.

By: Rags

Rags — Mon, 25 May 2009 19:39:14 +0000

What I’m getting from this is that your state at the start of the conversation will influence your state going forward.

Ie: mechanical openers = mechanical conversations

exciting openers (openers that excite YOU) = exciting conversations.