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Archive for the ‘General’ Category

by Colonel

Last year when I was in Birmingham I had a brief flirtation with internet dating and I got shitloads of response from it, there was one spell where I went 13 consecutive days meeting up with chicks!

I had 4 regulars on the go for months, but in a 6 month period from Jan-June last year I slept with around 20 chicks. The majority were internet but I also had a fuck buddy on the go up North and a couple of ‘random’ one night stands as well.

It was crazy but I’ll give you an insight into how I coped with it….

Each girl I decided was going to be advanced to the sex stage I got them into a situation where I would probably go out on 2 or 3 ‘dates’ and then after that it was sex.

After sex I would decide if it was worth continuing. If it wasn’t I would either ignore them (not a good idea) or say thanks but no thanks.

With the ones I decided to advance to sex, thereafter it was strictly round at my place or round at their place. I rarely spoke to them other than to arrange the next meet up (and that was usually once a week). I would occasionally text or email them, maybe 1 text and 1 email a week (this was after I had fucked them remember).

My regulars probably suspected something was going on with other chicks but they never really asked and I never really told, maybe this is they way to handle it now as well?

I once got one chick that I had fucked a couple of times and she was blonde, she hit the fucking roof when she found a long black hair in my bed!! if it was now I would say, ‘I’m seeing other women’. At that time I simply said ‘Next’.

It was really hard work and there were times I was thinking, what I wouldn’t give to sit in on my own watching Sky Sports!!

Nice problem to have though……

• Questions:

How do you handle such a situation? I have thought of getting a little black book and keeping a list of the girls I’ve met, and a few notes about where I’m up to with them and when I’m due to meet them.
(guitar_whizz)

This is a good idea, I did similar, I also programmed reminders into my phone and outlook so I knew when to call or meet up with these chicks

Another thing, if you’re just seeing a girl as a fuck buddy, then after I’ve fucked her a few times would it be acceptable to ditch her for good or just keep her on the backburner? If I kept her on the backburner and didn’t contact her for a few weeks or months I wonder if a shag would still be out of the question? I texted a girl I met in january the other day, yet she was up for talking to me.
(guitar_whizz)

Once a chick is in ‘Fuck Buddy’ frame there is no limit to the amount of time between contacting and having sex with them. I was supposed to be meeting an FB from Birmingham who now lives in Leeds last weekend for 2 hours, for sex on Sunday afternoon. It was only becuase of a minor glitch that I didn’t. I haven’t fucked her for 10 months and I speak to her once a month at most, mostly about who else I have fucked recently.

You must keep some form of contact going though.

On another occasion I had severed ties with 2 FB’s and then realised I was going to be in Birmingham for another month so I simply picked up the phone, called them, gave them some shit excuse and got access to sex again!

Final question, how is good to go about telling a girl that you don’t want her as a girlfriend but just as a fuck buddy? I mean, if I was to say it directly she might feel used, I dunno.
(guitar_whizz)

Basically if you have a chick and you text her once a week and shag her once a week, that frame has ‘fuck buddy’ written all over it. She will accept that frame and go with it (some may hope more will come of it obviously)

I have realised all this shit is subliminal and girls just assume different frames that you set for them. Women look for men to lead, be in control and set the frame. I don’t think you should ever say to a chick ‘you’re my fuck buddy’.

What you will find is that after a time she will say that to you. This may well be a shit test but at the end of the day if she understands the frame then you have done it right.

This is in contrast to ‘Girlfriend Frame’ That frame involves multiple texts and phonecalls, seeing her twice a week or more, doing activities and going for walks and shit together, eating in restaurants, having ’serious’ conversations you get the picture……

You may find your girls may just assume GF frame and initially at least will try to text you a lot and shit. If you don’t want that make sure you just act in FB frame and they will come into line.

Also I have realised by having several chicks on the go at once you become very non needy. In fact you don’t give a fuck about them and this makes you look very confident and they love it!

I belive that men become needy with chicks because they don’t have other options. Women become needy for very different reasons, but that’s another post!

Maybe it is better to say casually you are dating other chicks? It’s a tough one, but by writing this I think I have answered my own questions as well, so thanks for that!

One thing though, in the past I have had girls say to me (after only 1 or 2 dates) ‘are we an item then?’. In one case I really liked the girl and was happy to be ‘going out’ with her, but I actually had to say to one girl ‘well I prefer to get to know a girl before getting too serious’. So basically, was I on the right lines, or is there something better I could say if I get asked the dreaded question ’so are we an item?’.
(guitar_whizz)

You could just do a bit of humour and say something like, ‘That’s so 1920’s’ and then say my Grandma used to come out with shit like that and say stuff like ‘are you courting’ and then change the subject quickly! You didn’t answer the question and just busted her on it.

Alternatively you say something like. Erm I’ll have to get my people to look into it and I’ll get back to you on this, OK? and smile!

Make sure you make it humourous so you are in the ‘I’m joking’ frame but of course as Dave D says, never give a straight answer unless it’s no!

The other issue was ensuring they didn’t find out about each other.
(xavier)

It was in Birmingham, it’s a big city. At one point I had the city divided into Zones, like ‘New Dates Zone’ ”2nd Date Zone’ and seriously considered having 2 phones as well.

For some of the time I had this french guy lodging with me as a favour to a mate for a couple of months and he was the biggest player I have ever seen! The cliches are all true!

In his room he had endless clothes racks with about 50 designer suits, and had about 3000 pairs of shoes. Real good looking smooth mother fucker, half italian half arab and lived in France all his life, never saw him with less than a HB9, You can imagine!!!!

He had 5 on the go at one time, we had to be real careful non of the girls ever met in the house just incase one of them realised that I had been with 3 different birds each time she saw me! I had to do the same for him.

Anyway he came unstuck in a bar when he was out with one and another one came over, he said he ‘didn’t ever imagine British women could be so angry’?? WTF!!

The way he dealt with it was by actually physically running out of the bar and leaving the 2 chicks to sort it out amongst themselves. Awesome.

That’s why you never take em out after you have fucked them if you are keeping them all quiet from one and other!!

Hope this helps.

Colonel

Discuss this post in the NEL Forums.

by SteviePUA

I remember being a teenager walking around the local shopping mall and seeing girls all dressed up in sexy clothes. They were made up, wore revealing clothes, great looking hair, do you know the type? You’d see one and your head would turn by itself almost. And I felt incredibly FRUSTRATED because I thought I had nothing of equivalence to offer. I couldn’t wear the same sexy clothes, I couldn’t wear make up (not that I really wanted to!), and I couldn’t make people attracted to me like those super sexy girls could. What the hell did I have to offer? I was a boy.

*Fast Forward*

Today, since getting into the game in the late 90s, I have learned TONS of things that I never knew in my teenage years. One major revelation was that as a guy I CAN project high value, much as those super sexy girls did to me all those years ago. How does a guy project that kind of value? And this IS all about value. He does it through his behaviour, and to a lesser extent status. Using the techniques of the game, we can project very high value to girls once the dynamics are understood.

Why do so many guys pay BIG money for workshops? We are talking, literally thousands of dollars sometimes! It is because they cannot convey value to girls. The answer to creating value is largely an ability to APPROACH and ENGAGE long enough to display personality.

Sure, you have to HAVE a personality to begin with but I sincerely believe most people DO have interesting ideas and aspects of their lives which, if conveyed effectively, are of interest to other people. Part of the skills needed is to calibrate and notice what the other person responds well to. I have developed a technique of early on circling through topics while quickly calibrating for a ‘hit’, i.e. a response (conscious or unconscious) from the person I am interacting with which indicates I have gained a potential in-road into their experience of life and into what is important for them.

The other major understanding is that the very act of non-needily approaching and interacting with a target can demonstrate the same high value to a girl as those sexy girls back in my teenage years demonstrated to me. Being able to open, engage and subcommunicate value through your communication is, in many ways, the EQUIVALENT of displaying sexiness which we see in a HB.

It is not exactly the same though, because whereas we can see a HB and KNOW immediately that she is desirable through how she looks – her body, her face, her age etc, a girl can’t be quite sure that the guy in front of her is as confident and cocky or as genuine (substitute other valuable qualities here at will) as he appears to be at first look. Sure, they will check out how you look, but believe me, how you look is MUCH less important to most girls than you’d think. It’s amazing how they can overlook average looks if you have ‘alpha’ behaviour.

Look at Pete Docherty. He was shagging Kate Moss. Pete is a really average looking guy. He is much uglier than yours truly. Kate wouldn’t look at him if she didn’t know he was a bad boy rock star. It is his behaviour and status that appeal. He is cocky and confident and makes her feel good (sometimes!). Sure he has social status, but so does the PUA in the club who uses rules of social dynamics to create social proof for himself that very night.

To be sure you have value, the girl can ask her friends if you are a famous rock star, she can ask about your job, she can see which car you drive OR test you behaviourly to see if you are really the person you initially came across as. Testing is a GOOD sign. It shows she is thinking of you in a sexual way. Did you ever see a HB shit-test an old guy in his 80s with a walking stick who talks to her in public?

No way!

If she is testing YOU it is a sign that she sees you have sexual potential and wants (usually unconsciously) to find out if you truly are confident, persistent, strong and a real man. She hopes, secretly that you will pass these tests so you can confirm to her that you have all those qualities that she looks for in a real man. Once you are perceived as having those personal qualities which turn her on so strongly, it often doesn’t matter that you lack the Ferrari. The fast car was only ever a shortcut mechanism for screening for value anyway.

The first of these ways of conveying this high personal value is being able to approach and engage her. By not doing this you are showing lesser value. By come across as needy or nervous when you engage her, you are showing lesser value. By not knowing how to keep the conversation going or by wimping out of a close when the time is right, you are showing lesser value. By failing to pass shit tests you are showing lesser value (even if this includes calling her on them or plain ignoring them).

Do the reverse of these and you are in a position to be emanating value in much the same way as those super hot chicks do.

- SteviePUA

Discuss this post in the NEL Forums.

by Guitar_Whizz

Note: this is a somewhat controversial post (see discussion link at the end), and Guitar_Whizz makes the following note before reading:

“I would just say to people reading my post this – at the end of the day you can date/kiss/shag/marry whoever you want (as long as they’re legal of course!) and part of being alpha is doing what you like and making your own rules and realities. The points I made in the post are a rough guide, and I hope they heighten peoples’ awareness, however the final judge of whether you get with a girl is you.”

Ok guys, I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while. What I want to discuss is the subject of having standards and not just going for any girl. Basically, as a PUA you should see yourself as a man of high value – you are the prize the girl has to win over. And as you get more ‘tuned in’ to the dating game and become more socially aware, you will start to realise that there are only certain types of girl you will want to date (be it casually, for a relationship or just for a one night stand). I’m talking about personality type mainly, but obviously certain looks of girl want to be avoided too. You will see that most girl just don’t live up to your standards, and you will move on to another girl.

You see, when you’re an AFC, you look at every girl and wish you could be with her, even if she’s got a messed up personality and treats you like sh*t etc. You are just desperate to be with a girl. You will put up with all sorts of bad behaviour from a girl, simply because you know you can’t get anyone else.

But when you become a PUA, you see the bigger picture and start to see what faults certain girls have. After a while you will be able to spot the faults immediately and you can ditch the girl and find another.

So here is a list of the personality types/traits you should avoid. When you’re talking to a girl, you want to be screening for any of these things….if you notice any of these traits, ditch the girl and move on to find someone better:-

LSE (Low Self Esteem) Girls

A girl with low self-esteem will generally have very low self confidence and not like herself very much. This type of girl will often have a negative persepective on life, and that negativety can drag your mood down when you’re with her. LSE girls also cannot find their own source of happiness from within, so they look for a guy to make them happy and to lift them out of their negative state. This results in them being really clingy, over jealous and very needy. And to top it off, they can be prone to moodiness and being over-emotional (as if girls in general aren’t overly-emotional enough. If you notice a girl is an LSE girl, run a mile!

Ugly older/middle-aged women dressed like 19 years olds

When you start going to bars and clubs, you’ll notice an alarming array of women in their late 30s or 40s, or even 50s who insist on dressing in skimpy outfits and act as though they are about 19 years old. Now, if these women were in good shape then you might want to consider a fling with them like a MILF (mother I’d like to f*ck) sort of thing. But the sad reality is, most of these women are DOG UGLY and usually very ‘common’ to talk to. They’re almost OBLIVIOUS to how ridiculous they look, dressed in the way they do at their age. They’re also VERY easy to pull, and will often make the first move on you. Since they’re older and ugly, they won’t be getting much male attention, therefore will be ‘desperate’ for any action. I personally couldn’t stomach shagging one of these types of girl, and would recommend you avoid them at all costs.

Any girl with a ‘rough’ or ‘common’ or ’scally’ sort of look or vibe about her

Depending on where you go, you’ll often meet girls in bars who are really dogged in looks, and a bit ‘thick/common or rough’ in a scally sort of way. For the most part, these are the types of girl who live in the rough council estates, who don’t have a job and claim every state benefit under the sun. You don’t want to waste your time or associate with this type of girl – they’re scum, trust me. Not only that, but since they’re dirt poor, they will expect you to pay for everything. You’ll also NEVER have any kind of meaningful or stimulating conversation with this girl type. Avoid avoid avoid!

Girls who are bitchy for the sake of being bitchy

I’m sure you’ve met the type – those ‘man haters’ who insist on being as rude to every guy as they possibly can. Now I know that most girls have a bitch shield to some extent, and that if you’re a PUA you should be able to break that shield down, BUT there are certain girls out there who are just plain bitches for the sake of it. If you meet one of these types of girls, and nothing you’re doing works, politely wish her a nice evening and move on.

Girls who seem a bit too ‘meek’ or nervous or generally a bit ‘dull and boring’.

You’ll run into this type from time to time – a girl who is probably a good character and maybe even has a good career or whatever going for her, but who is just a bit too ‘meek’ and ‘unfun’ to be with. She may even be good looking, but she is too much of the ‘good girl’ and not really willing to just let go and have fun. I personally wouldn’t date a dull girl like this.

Fat Girls

Do I REALLY need to tell you why you should not be with this type of girl! One other reason why you should avoid being seen with a fat girl, though, is because it will give you BAD social proof. If guys or other girls see you with a fatty, they may see you as lower status because they will think you can’t get anyone else.

Married Women

Now I know that many, many married women will happily shag an alpha/high status male such as us, but do you really want the hassle and the feeling of guilt that goes along with this? I personally don’t see the point in bedding a married chick when there are millions of single, horny girls I could bed instead. But hey, I’m not trying to preach to you – if you want to bag a married woman, that’s your choice. Just beware there could be consequnces if it goes wrong!

Any girl who is just trying to play games or take you for a ride

As a PUA, you should quickly be able to spot this type of girl and move on quickly with your dignity intact. Girls of this type often chat to a guy and try to use him to buy drinks for her, with no intention of kissing or bedding him. Sometimes you’ll find girls who will talk to you, yet have boyfriends in the bar or at home and lead you on and then get their boyfriend to ring you and threaten you. Now I admit this is extremely rare, but you need to be able to spot this type of situation and then leave before it gets any worse. Don’t rise to it, just walk away and find another girl. You might also run into girl who inisist on flirting with you and even arrange a date, but then always pull out at the last minute – not good. They’re just playing games for the sake of it and get a kick out of doing so. As a PUA, you turn it back on her by ignoring her and flirting with other girl in front of her – what how her IL goes up immediately!

———————————————————————–

Now those are the main types I think should be avoided, but I’ll add to this if I think of any more. So now you’re probably asking ‘I’ve screened out all those tyoes, now what type of girl SHOULD I be dating?’.

I think you should be looking for a girl that you’re physically attracted to for a start, And then you want someone who is ‘on your level’, not someone thick or who ‘doesn’t get it’ when you flirt with her. You want a girl you can flirt with who will flirt back, someone who is responsive to kino, someone you can be fun and playful with you yet still be able to have a deeper rapport type conversation with, someone who is not too needy and who you can generally relax and enjoy being with. You want a girl who adds a POSITIVE experience to your life, NOT someone who is high maintenance and a chore to be with.

So if there are so many types you should avoid, is it a lost cause trying to find a decent girl? No! After a while you’ll VERY QUICKLY be able to spot the types I discussed above to avoid, and you’ll KNOW when a girl you’re chatting to falls into the ‘type I should be with’.

Remember, you are the prize, so never settle for anything less than you deserve. You want a girl who lives up to your standards, so never lower yourself to a girl of lower value. Dating is a jungle, but if you follow the advice in this post, you’ll quickly be able to meet quality girls and weed out the psychos.

Best of luck,

Guitar_Whizz

Discuss this post on the NEL Forums.

by SteviePUA

Girls often go out in groups to bars and clubs. We know that. Who are these chicks? Well some are out for fun, some are out to drink, some for attention, some are out to dance and some are out to meet a guy. There could be a whole host of CONSCIOUS reasons in her mind for going out and although meeting a guy might not be consciously in her head as the reason for going out, an UNCONSCIOUS and powerful motivation for hitting the town that night is the social and sexual interaction that is possible. Think about it, if she really was JUST out to dance she could have stayed home and danced in her front room with a friend, a CD and a bottle of wine AND she would have saved a lot of money.

No, there are often unconscious psychological processes at work in our minds, and while she might not be able to recognise the forces that make her feel like going out, they are so often present pulling the strings and motivating our behaviour behind the scenes.

Of course there doesn’t have to be just one or two reasons, there are usually many.

What I want to recognise here is chicks very often have hooking up as either a conscious, or more likely, a unconscious motivating factor in their minds when they go out to bars and clubs. They might not recognise it as such and they may rationalise it to themselves by saying “I am just going out to dance”, but nevertheless, bigger forces can lie under the surface and these can be tapped into by the person with the right skills.

I mentioned before about chicks often going out in groups together. There exists a group dynamic between these chicks , a kind of “I’ll watch your back and you watch mine”. They know on some level that they are prone to doing crazy things like making out/having sex with a guy who they might later regret having done so, or who the societal matrix might disapprove of in the light of day. They can experience attraction spikes, see a tremendous opportunity or feel strong attraction with the result of shutting off parts of their self-censoring conscious minds when they are so excited.

This is similar to the way a guy’s brain, if a chance for sex is on the table, can shut off higher level processing in some way and he can do silly things like having sex without a condom just because the opportunity is there right in front of him and if he doesn’t take it then he might lose out and never get the chance again.

These kind of reactions in both men and women can be traced back, in all probability, to our evolutionary past. Chicks therefore, because of this shutting down of higher levels of their thinking which results in impusive behaviour, watch out for each other and can drag each other away from a guy who is clearly not up to the mark or who seems ‘dodgy’ but who is frying the chick’s circuits and seems to be doing well despite his apparent lack of fitness traits to the rest of the female group.

There exists a glitch to be exploited by the PUA, though. What if the friends’ reaction is wrong and they pull their friend away from this guy who might ACTUALLY be ‘all that’ despite not having the usual traits. Take a guy who is mega-rich and the guy is gaming a girl and her friends try to pull her away.

The friends saw a normal looking guy appearing to be doing well with someone who they judge as being of higher fitness (their girlfriend). Why should he be doing so well in their eyes?

They don’t know he is mega-rich. Therefore there has to be a sub-routine in the minds of the chicks which allows for the possibility of a guy who appears regular but who has hidden charms and high level fitness which is not initially apparent. Otherwise a rich guy might come along (or another guy with very high value) and they all lose out through not realising what he had to offer. This is the glitch and it is where group set theory comes into its own.

Think of two forces pulling on the target – one is the PUA and the other is the target’s friends. They want to protect her but also have to allow for the possibility of an amazing guy engaging her. How do they decide whether to pull the friend away?

1. They gather information themselves on the quality of the guy – how he looks, what he says, how he communicates, and how other people react to him.

2. They get an indication from their friend that this guy is someone she wants to be with and they should not cockblock him.

It is in displaying value and winning over the target, or ideally BOTH the target and the group that allows you the in-road to keeping going with the sarge and allows you to use the glitch in the societal matrix. Of course, one of the reasons for isolating the target is to avoid this kind of loyalty protection, but sometimes you need to face this loyalty issue just to get the isolation without interference.

When you are talking to a chick you like next time, think to yourself – what is the dynamic that this chick has with the rest of her group. How well does she know them? What kind of a bar or club are you in and how much protection is she likely to need – hint – in places like nightclubs which are reknown places for guys to go to PU chicks they are likely to have a greater emphasis on loyalty between group members but in more relaxed places like traditional pubs where people go after work to chat and relax there is likely to be less loyalty and protection between group members and therefore less of a dynamic for you to have to overcome.

Also think about the time of day or night you are engaging the group – late at night is almost always going to result in a stronger loyalty dynamic between the group unless they are crazy party girls who live life on the edge – often LSE types, by the way.

If you can overcome that loyalty that the friends of the target feel towards protecting the target from a guy they are unsure about then you are going places with the girl of your choice. Winning over the group becomes such an important ability to have then. If you can’t overcome that loyalty dynamic which is felt for the target by the group you’d better learn how to do group set theory if you want to do well with fast seduction as part of solid game.

Start thinking about the group loyalty dynamic.

SteviePUA

Sometimes, no matter how I am with a woman I’m not interested in, I’ll manage to get her attracted and give off huge signals that she has a chance with me. Now, I don’t always complain about this; my penchant for punching below my weight during ‘dry spells’ in order to get the ball rolling is a well documented fact. But there are times when I’m raising my standards, and it’s these exact times that the sharks move in.

In community parlance, they are known as orbiters. They are the female equivelant of what we used to be to girls before stumbled accross this game we now play. Yep; it’s girls who are more widely known as having orbiters. There was this one girl in one of my classes a couple of years ago at uni…she had THREE orbiters. She’s walking into a lecture, into the student bar…anywhere I saw her, they’re there, opening doors, full of smiles trying to out-ingratiate each other in voice and in manner. Actually made me vomit once.

Nah just kidding, but I did cringe intensely.

To be fair on the cocksuckers, she was extremely hot. So naturally, I made my attempt. While I never slept with her, I did get on well and we became friends. So when we saw each other we’d joke around, and have a bit of fun. Her orbiters? HATED me. Absolutely hated me. I would play to this by being overly polite to them, shaking their hands and so on, and they typically would not reciprocate. I knew they were sending vibes to the universe for pidgeons to fly into my eyes or something, but little did they know that exactly that attitude is what is making the fittie smile at me, not them: creating a negative spiral of hell.

Being as I used to BE that insecure guy, I think I can now see both sides of the story pretty well. The thing is, I’m a nice person and I don’t like spreading badness into the world. I won’t brush girls off or ignore them like other people of such awesomely high value as myself.

So because of this, these orbiter girls either…

a) they think they have a chance, they see my niceness as a sign I’m attainable, since another guy might not have been so cordial, or…

b) they see that I won’t brush them off and therefore know they can keep trying, and in the meantime we enjoy each others company so if nothing happens nothing is lost.

The a) girls I don’t bother with because for whatever reason (infatuation maybe?) they are not seeing the real situation: they actually think they might end up in a relationship with me! This may sound a little harsh to be putting it like this, but they DON’T have a chance, and we all have people around us who don’t have a chance with us, don’t we?

So it would hurt them just to sleep with them when I don’t want anything longer term…unless I can explain the situation and feel sure they are cool with it. The b) girls are true orbiters, in the a useful way. If I’m on a dry spell, I’ll go for these chicks. They know the deal on some level but nonetheless I will test the water by saying I’m not into relationships (bring this up subtly!), and give my reasons for that. I’m quite honest about that. Depending on the response to that, I am able to tell if they’re down for a one night stand.

But either way, what I NEVER do to girls is offer more than I am willing to give (eg., a relationship).

When playing orbiter game, managing expectations in this way is the most important part. They are already sufficiently attracted by definition.

You MUST to stick to your decisions. If you befriends a girl, you are FRIENDS. Stick to that. Friends are not orbiters… with friends who you see often, feelings may rise and fall depending on each of your circustances, but do not ruin this holy sacrement. It’s best to view any sparks that pop up as mutual state pumping, you’re just two attractive people making sure you don’t forget that.

I know that occasionally the friends become lovers thing happens, but that happens way down the line; not next week when you decide you want a fuck. So if a girl is your friend, that is the choice you have made and deal with it.

When you see the orbiters around, game a little, but do not escalate and do not use too much kino. It’s similar to when a girl has an orbiter; they guy is in that limbo zone where they get attention but not affection, which makes them want it more. I’m careful not to ‘lead on’ girls like this, because there’s the possibility of validating them; they should get their validations from you through sex. The pattern seems to be, you validate them and it opens a window, and if you don’t fuck it shuts and they’re not interested again.

So when you want to go for it with an orbiter, it’s pretty much a matter of just closing. All the prior work is done for you by definition. The following is a good opener, and sets the frame nicely:

“You better have missed me!”

Chat for as long as you deem necessary. Then say something like “I’m bored. Shall we go?”

If you don’t want to sleep with them, you can just be friendly, and get them to buy you drinks or introduce you to their friends.
Some people view orbiters as a bad and annoying thing. This is not the case at all. It means girls like you, which means you are doing well.

You know, there’s another thing. There are some chicks who I’ve met in a club… and seen her there many times after. They are not quite orbiters… we’ll chat and flirt a bit, but maybe she’s taken, or I’m with someone already or just too drunk. But there’s this strange understanding where we are not rude to each other, touch each other a little, then carry on our night. It’s almost like we are both keeping the window open in case there’s a night we’re both out and up for it. And then sometimes there is! Any one else notice this mutual “window keeping open”?

Guys,

Here’s another contribution from Stevie; a charming rant against the evil of consumerism and it’s followers. Cheers Stevie for this article!

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As consumerism and commercialism take off into the stratosphere, has there been a steady erosion of social skills and a promotion of physical appearance as a compensation?

I say this because in Asia it seems to be at an extreme. In Hong Kong (and in commercialised European places such as Stockholm, Hamburg and London) it strikes me that social skills are dying a death. People stare like fuck but will go to great lengths to avoid speaking to each other.

Guys are now paying gurus to teach them basic socialising skills. In Asia people work 12 hours or more a day in a defined job where you don’t talk about non-work things much. After all, people might get an edge over you if they know about who you really are. Ironic that the rumour network (only among people you have know for ages) is so insistent!

It pays for business to promote cosmetics, clothes etc as the ways to gain happiness. For girls there has always been an element of this. Girls are judged in terms of reproductive fitness by their physical appearance more than men. But in today’s Asian (and Stockholmian) world no fucker seems to talk to each other beyond in a functional way. I hate this because it forces me to shut down vast parts of my personality. No one here ‘gets’ what I am on about – and it is not just the language barrier. It’s the lack of wide knowledge in the society.

I find myself not wanting to talk to the HK girls around me because they are so vacuous and have nothing to say. Sure, they spend tons of money on their hair and make up, but ultimately they bore me.

I remember practising the piano years ago at home. During my practice my sister would regularly put on a dumbass Australia soap opera and over-audio my piano. This made my musical efforts not only difficult but said to me that investing in musical or other self-development skills were to be shat upon by popular culture which had the importance of a goldfish’s literary education. Flush it down the toilet and no one misses it.

I like clubs with hot girls but those screens and loud music are chewing gum for the ears and eyes. They take away from the art of conversation. Is it designed like this to let the thick-skulled and vacuous people get away with it? It’s fine to dance but don’t let the fact that you have loud music give you an excuse not to develop your conversation skills. This is not the case for PUAs but can often be so for the general population.

And so ends my short rant against the people of today whose minds are easily influenced by shallow, fleeting consumerist influences. That type of person is ultimately unattractive because they have such a tenuous grip on their own reality. The reality of others is easily imposed upon their simple minds.

In the same way, I meet guys who say ‘If only I could get another 2 inches on my biceps I’d be king’, but they spend no time practising their social skills.

The other type I have met – some are thin, greying, not rich, and have routinely cleaned up in bars and clubs. I’ve seen them in action. They outdo me and I am proud to have them as friends and as people I can learn from.

Back to basics. We are dealing with prehistoric brains ultimately. Pay attention to current culture for sure but give it a nod rather than diving in so unthinkingly with a double consumerist back-flip which will not bring sustainable gold, or even a bronze medal, at the social Olympics.

Check out Stevie’s Web Site – mp3s, photos, reports and info:
http://pua.zap.to