NEL Blog

Archive for the ‘Natural Game’ Category

Perspective is everything in this, being able to take bad nights as part of the process. Can you think of any footballer who puts away every goal? Even Beckham messes up free kicks (nothing on the England keepers). You’ve probably heard all this before from lit-ra-ly millions of gurus, because they want your money.

I don’t want your money. I have a different motivation: altruism. Writing this altruistically gives me a massive e-penis.

We’re going to take a different perspective, today we look at the usefulness of your worst nights, at your most pussified. Those shocking nights where you’re pretty much as you started. Not just average or poor nights, the absolute worst

Yeah, those nights.

Would you believe these awful nights help show you something amazing, that they can show you some perspective that awesome, decent and even slightly bad nights can’t show you.

It shows just how far you’ve come

As we improve we raise our standards. The same guy struggling to approach is a year later struggling with LMR (or 2 years later struggling with AA again, check out my progress journal sometime…). We always look to that next juicy thing, and forsake where we’ve improved. For most of you guys approaching 10 women in a night isn’t a big deal. It’s not even false modesty, you just don’t see it as a big deal at all. It’s like putting on the kettle and making a brew.

Having said that, I do like to go into work and let every guy know just how many brews I made last night, how hot they all were, and how far I got with each one. I’m yet to manage two cups of tea at the same time though, making me a tea-chode.

As you grow and get better at this skill with women, you make all these little adjustments to your game. You realise lots of little things that come together to make you the pimp you are right now. Because most are very subtle, you make the next change and forget what you last improved on.

At some point you have an awful night. You get blown out of the 5 sets you do, your voice is weak, you have nothing interesting to say and can’t even keep eye contact with average girls. On the way back you feel like the biggest pussy in the world.

Don’t beat yourself up, you’ve just been shown an important lesson.

I came away from such a night a while back, and felt like shit. But then I started to realise all the things I’d improved on, all those minor (and major) changes. How I was more confident, funnier, didn’t feel the need to qualify myself, didn’t care so much what people thought. And the list went on.

It put a big smile on my face. I realised “shit, I’ve come a long long way. I’m like a different guy now”

When you’re out 4 nights a week and improving so fast, you lose sight of all this. These shit nights serve as a reminder just how far you’ve come along.

Author Bio-
Having been a professional bitch of 19 years, Ty discovered the community in 2006. When not drunkenly sleeping with girls from his work, his interests include computer games, movies and colouring-in books. Ty prefers a more natural style of game, with a strong emphasis on fun and a healthy dose of cocky-funny.

by Shezz

JUST A PIECE OF MY MIND – A TESTIMONY IF YOU WILL

MOULD YOUR MINDSET AND BE THAT PRIZE…

There is one thing in life that cannot be changed by having millions of dollars or pounds

One thing that only being myself and using my own time can change to become a more socially developed man.

Sure if i was ugly and had billions of dollars in my account – i would have a facelift

If i was fat – i would have liposuction

If i had raggy clothes – id buy the clothes fit for a king.

But one thing cannot be changed by anything except a strong character and utter determination – Mindset.

Many examples and articles have been written on the subject – this may be just one of those articles – but before i made myself the person i am today – my outloom on life was somewhat abysmal.

My world was my bedroom – i would venture out to play sports, go to the gym – but i would hardly ever talk to girls – i was brought up with a Mindset that had me beleive that bringing a girl home may upset my mum or dad – sounds crazy, but i would never try to mack on any girls whatsoever – i didnt go out drinking or partying and my confidence around women was lower then whale dung.

I started work about 2 years ago and realised that for me to get anywhere in this world i would have to change my Mindset and outlook on the world. In all honesty im a good looking guy – 8 or 9 and lots of girls would come upto me and talk – im an intelligent kid – i can hold a mature conversation with the directors and chairman at my workplace easy – but before – even saying hello to a girl felt like i was about to put my life on the line.

Of course writing this now makes me understand just how silly i was being back there – not being confident and talking to a lady fluently dosnt make you look like that shy guy that women think is cute – it makes you look like an idiot.

If you were talking to a man – and all he could do was look at the floor and mumble, you would think that you were talking to a damn clown – youd walk away and chances are you wouldnt speak to him again.

So alas! The time came when i decided enough was enough, this skin that i was wearing, this fungus that had taken over my brain the past 16 years had to be exterminated – i had to get a life – but where to start??

Where to start indeed?…………Party my freind excalims – are you coming – there will be loads of girls there! and beer!

This was it – my opportunity to start to mature into a Socially mature man.

I did a lot of thinking before that party – and the two days that i used wisely – put my life into perspective.

There are people in the world who have no water, no food, no shoes or clothes, no home, no family, some are blind, some deaf, some scarred, disfigured, maimed, some morbidly obese, some with eating disorders, some people have disease – that puts there life in doubt from day to day – yet one thing interconnects all of these people together – the desire for pleasure.

No matter how far there lives have fallen, how lonely or melancholy they are feeling – one thing still drives us on – Pleaure.

The reason all of these people survive and drive onwards is because of there Mindset – sure a fat, disfigured person can look in the mirror and see a inhumane, sorry sight who ladies would not look twice at – but my altering his mind – he could change his life forever. Think about your self for a moment and what women are in your range.

Do you have any of the aforementioned symptoms – or are you a good looking, freindly, but socially inept person.

One thing that i deliberately did not mention was the reason that makes going out there and getting the HB’s into your life.

It is the one thing that i think of when i go out each day – people are people, unless they are disfigured or challenged – they have eyes, legs, ears, noses, arms, mouths, hearts and brains – we use all of these things everyday of our lifes – but which ones do we underuse the most?

When it comes to women a lot of guys dont use their brains which means that the words coming out of their mouths are drivvle. Think about it – your attempting to talk to lady, but yet you feel like an idiot! Your scared! Unsure of what she thinks of you – but in reality the mere fact that you are even talking to her as differentiated you from most men that have looked at her today.

Do you get hot and flustered when you talk to your mother? (i seriously hope not or you need help)

NO – because you know that she dosnt think your a weirdo, idiot, ugly, fat, – she may infact think all of these things about you (slim chance) but the mere fact that you think, therefore your Mindset takes over your body and states that this women – your mother is just a person in the world who needs to be talked to!

Everyone in the world needs to be talked to, imagine a world where everyone didnt have a mouth, scary thought – imagine if tomorrow – you were in a serious accident which ripped away your power of speech or even worse your life.

This is what i thought of for those two days, people all over the world, no matter what race, religion, height, weight, looks, hair colour have a voice that needs to be heard – its simple.

I nearly burst into laughter thinking about how scared i was to open my mouth and try to chat to a girl, thinking about how scared i was to tell my parents i had a girlfriend. Hell those two guys must have gone at it like rabbits in there younger days – or i wouldnt be here!

If your shy, unconfident or have any other feelings of frustration that prevents you from talking, dating and laying women then it is time to change your Mindset.

Its not about What you are, Its Who you are – you could be a race care driver – but if you had no confidence or lacked a positive attitude you will always finish last or even worse crash.

Your outlook can be changed in a minute – just THINK! How simple life with women can be if you change your mindset – a lot of my friends who have been laying chicks for years often ask me for advice on how i am so confident – what do i tell them?

I am a person who loves life, loves to talk and socialise with people – because thats what life is about.

Men and Women are LIFE! If there wasnt any people on the planet then there would be no life (micro organisms excluded).

The development of the world is not through technology, it is through the people that invent, create and absorb and use information gathered through the power of speech.

I often see men scowling at ugly, fat, disfigured, older men attemting to chat up young ladies

Young Man: look at that idiot – what has he got that i havent? Stupid idiot!

ME: Hes got confidence, hes got motivation, hes got ballz and hes got a Mindset that states to him that life is meant to be enjoyed – while your standing there scowling – you could be furthering yourself socially by talking to that women over there – why else would they come to the bars in a short skirt and bra?

Young man: Yea – id give her a right bonking.

Me: Yes you would, but you wont!

YM: Why the hell not?

Me: Well go talk to her then!

YM: I will later.

Me: Theres no better time than the present, if not now…when!!!???

Through years and years and years of borrowed knowledge we devise pockets of thoughts that constantly run through our minds, jumping from one thought to the next, preventing us from living in the real world.

Most people today are living in the mind like they are the mind or like the mind is them – when actually the mind is like the body – simply a tool. I have come to the conclusion that we are not the mind because we can witness are own thoughts and to witness your own dreams and thoughts then you must be separate from your mind – because you can only witness that which you are not.

Stop living in a dreamworld, stop living in the past, stop thinking about the future, live in the present or you wont live at all – because soon the present which we are in now will become memories and regrets and the future dreams will become the unfruitioned present – no different from what you are living in now

Your life will become a circle of lost hopes, bitter thoughts and lack of confidence – where the old, fat, scarred guys get the girls and you get your right hand.

Open Your eyes, open your heart and most importantly open your mind and mouth – use the gift that you have been given – theres no reason whatsoever why you cant get the girl of your dreams – except the cloud of doubt that hovers over your Mindset.
Changing your Mindset to become the PRIZE!!!
What do you think of when the word pricelessness pops up? Maybe its the Mona Lisa? Maybe it is the statue of the Thinker? Maybe it is a goose that lays golden eggs – with diamonds for yolk?

All of these things ‘could’ be classed as priceless – Could.

However while many men and women roam the planet searching desperately for their dream lover, dream car, dream necklace, dream home – their dreams hardly ever materialise – infact many a person will go through their whole life living a dream – they will die in a figment of their own imagination.

But what if you already possessed the most priceless object in the world, but yet you always overlook its potential, failing to open it to the fact that one day, in one minute you could wake up and realise that your dream has come true.

An everlasting cycle of wants, needs, greed and inhumane like activities veil our mind and help into peceiving the real world in which we live as some kind of sick cartoon, socialisation and bonding with the own members of our race as become an afterthought in a world plagued with selfishness and our own personal development – but when we actually try to develop ourselves – is that what we are really doing?

A lot has been said and written down in regards to personal fitness – an i am an avid beleiver in this – nothing beats a good sports session or workout, However – why is nothing done to improve the way we want to convey ourselves to other people – more importantly on this site – women?

The main percentage of guys coming on to the community usually start with a query entitled:

How do i talk to women?

Good conversation ideas anyone?

How do i make good, stimulating conversation with girls?

The list is endless!

But there is no article that anyone, anywhere at anytime can write to tell someone how to speak to women – Not even this one.

The person who is asking for help must himself look deep within his own heart, his own mind and find his own inner passion for life and for living it – women and every other thing will then fall into place. If a man lives his life without purpose, without a passion then he is living a lie, his life is a falsification of what could infact be a dream, but a dream that CAN be touched.

What do you do when you talk to a girl?

Fill in blank (in your mind- speak it out loud) ………………………….

You become nervous?
Welt up?
get flustered?
Hot?
Blabber?
Turn into a fool?
Think your a clown?

Analyse the glances of every women that talks to you – your thinking:

AFC: Oh no – shes looking at my hair – it must be bad
DJ: Yeaa – shes looking at my hair – and why wouldnt she?

AFC: Whys she staring at my face? Do i have a zit? oh no!
DJ: Thats it baby – check out the money maker!

AFC: She dosnt like me – she keeps looking away!
DJ: Whats up baby – my looks intimidate you?

At the end of the day – you can log onto your computers and search to your hearts content for tips on seduction, tips on romance, tips on conversation, tips on flirting – but the only real way to learn is to use the priceless material that you have been given.

Your life and the body that you live it in.

Stop trying to be something your not – we on this website collectively try to be Don Juan – the epic 16,000 line poem Don Juan was written by Byron – would people think you were foolish if you tried to live like Lord Byron?

Of course they would – they would think you were raving mad – becuase you have a life of your own to lead.

You cannot be something your not, you cant witness yourself, you can only be yourself – thats why you cant see your self without the aid of a mirrored surface.

But even those that realise that they are themselves and that they should lead their own lives still fall foul to the constant surge of non-stop thoughts that plague our mind on a daily basis.

These thoughts are the fantastical funghi that initiates the barrier that keeps us in Dream-World and stops us from being aware of our lives that we are living presently, because to us – our mind does not exist in the present world. The mind splits everything up into different segmentations.

Eg – The women that we see on a daily basis are no longer looked upon as reachable objects – for the average male – the untapped male – the male without a passion -they are dreams, that unfortunatley will never come true. But they can, and if the inner man, the man with a life is touched then they will.

Lots of articles are written but they arent required – i may sound like an hypocrite at this moment – but that is my view – my life is lived in the present, memories cannot be erased – and nor should they be, but they should not be a substitute for life. dreams cannot be stopped emerging and nor should they – but they too should feature only at times when the life you live now has become so good – that any dream could happen at this moment.

For many men in the community, no – for all the men – there dream is to have the dream women – many beleive they can – those are the ones that will and do get the women that they feel is a dream – but dreams evolve and so do the looks of women – so as the women evolve – our dreams are ensized by the thought of what we can have next.

However – while these men will and do get the women – more men wont and dont get them.

They are the ones that live life like a chore, no purpose and no passion when in there hearts this passion just needs to be ignited

Endless reading on these types of sites can and are beneficial – but at the end of the day – it is all words.

You can revise for an exam from the greatest literature in the world, but unless you digest that information and then divulge it – failure looms.

Think about your lives or better yet – your li(v)es – a constant blur of aesthetically pleasing, middle class men going about their lives like puppets – Women are there to be had – its so simple taht it pains me to write this type of stuff when its just so goddamn simple.

the only reason you make it hard to approach and date women is because of the cowardice from within, your evil self that takes over and tells you that you ae inferior -life is there to be lived so live it.

In London, Pakistan and NYC over the past several years – many peoples lives were taken through acts of atrocity and utter devastation – at least one person who lost there life im betting was living a lie – and was thinking that the dream he had of the lady at his office would come true tomorrow – not today – there always tomorrow – now he wont get that chance.

But you have – today, now – if there is someone that you like, love or wish to go out with – Tell them – dont ask like a child – you are a man – tell them your feelings -there are no tricks or magic wands – except you and your body and maybe your cheat sheet lol.

It is truly a gift – you are a gift – live life and smile – you never know whos day you are making by flashing a smile.

Dont waste your chance or your time.

Sarge On…

“Start as you mean to go on”, so the saying goes.

Sometimes you can talk to similar kinds of girls, but it’s like you’re two different people. On some occasions you roll up, bust out your choice line, and it just doesn’t go anywhere. You can feel it, it’s like there’s no energy to the conversation. It’s gone flat.

But then sometimes it’s just pure Harry Potter magic. You say one thing and it’s got her attention straight away, you follow up with something else equally awesome and she’s sold. Then it builds and builds and you’re on fire.

It’s all in how you start the conversation.

Now I’m not talking first impressions here. This is about you and your brain, not her. I’m talking about the kind of vibe you’re starting with.

If you start by asking boring questions/making boring statements, leaving any and all fun out of the conversation to begin with, you’re handicapping yourself, but not for the most obvious reasons. Not only are you handicapping yourself right now, but you’re also handicapping the rest of the conversation with this girl.

You see how you start is how you go on. Going with the above and being boring, your brain picks up on this. It thinks “hmm okay, time to be boring” and everything else you say from this point on is pulled from this side of your brain. Later on when you think of something to say, it’s coming from this boring part of your brain because that’s how you’ve set it up.

Now let’s roll through take two. You catch the eye of some young lovely lady who you’re 90% sure is over 16, and open with one of your best cocky-funny lines. What happens now is you set your brain up a different way, it now think “Alright, time to party!” and you’re now accessing this fun part of your brain.

Basically what you’re doing is starting the conversation the right way, not for her benefit, but for yours. Instead of starting with boring small talk and going down that route, you’re starting with something fun and going down that route instead.

However you start, your brain follows. Always better to set it up the right way (which is why I’m such a fan of pissing around, having fun).

Of course, this is a general rule and not a hard-and-fast one.

For starters, an interaction can always go one way or another. How many times have you started strongly only to mess it up at the least minute? And likewise how many times have you pulled off something awesome from nowhere?

The flow of a conversation can change at any point, and more often than not it’s far from straightforward. Starting a conversation the ‘wrong’ way isn’t a deal breaker, I’d consider it more of a handicap. You can start with boring spiel and do fine, but you’ll tend to get sucked into a boring way of thinking and struggle conversation-wise.

Why make things harder for yourself? If you’re gonna choose between two doors/paths, go for the easier, fun one. Make life that little bit easier for yourself.

Also, much like state, you don’t want to get into a habit of not approaching because things aren’t going the right way. Too often we think “no I’m not state in yet”, and there’s a similar risk with this.

Whatever happens, you still need to do your approaches.

Look, a fun conversation is always better than a boring/standard one, but a boring one is miles better than no conversation, stood with your dick in your hand.

Awesome conversation >> standard conversation >> no conversation >> sitting at home on Face book

One final point.

By “start of the conversation”, I mean in general. I don’t literally mean the first thing that comes out your mouth. I mean early on rather than right away, the earlier you bust out the fun mindset and get it up and running, the easier things will be.

Think of it like kino, the earlier you use it, the better.

That’s all there is to it. Start with the right kind of vibe, and you’ll make what follows that much more easier, fun and awesome.

Author Bio-
Having been a professional bitch of 19 years, Ty discovered the community in 2006. When not drunkenly sleeping with girls from his work, his interests include computer games, movies and colouring-in books. Ty prefers a more natural style of game, with a strong emphasis on fun and a healthy dose of cocky-funny.

By SteviePUA

Going ‘under the radar’ is very powerful because it helps avoid any objections. Gaining influence indirectly over someone is a process with many strands. One of these strands is the ‘foot in the door’ mechanism, which I use as a variation of pacing and leading.

Let’s say you want someone to do something or to think in a particular way. It is powerful to begin by saying or doing something which is acceptable to them. Don’t go for the bigger result immediately. Give them something they can readily accept. Once a small request has been granted, it is far easier to then progress to a bigger request. The opposite approach to this (which can work well too) is to go for a bigger request than the one you really want, and when that is refused, you then give your actual (smaller) request which is then seen as much more acceptable in comparison to the big request.

Pacing and leading works similarly to ‘foot in the door’ – you say something which can be verified as being true in that person’s experience. You follow this up with something else and something else (also verifiable) and then add in something (your suggestion) which may or may not be quite so verifiable. Because your previous statements were seen as true and were accepted, the tendency is for the person to accept the suggestion. As a person is thinking about these ideas and reading the articles that I have written, you can notice the environment around you and begin to realise how powerful this knowledge can be when used in the right circumstances. That lets you notice that sense of curiosity and wanting to find out more. See?

This becomes even more powerful when the suggestions you use are initially easily acceptable and are amped up once the foot in the door has been gained. It is about gaining leverage into the person’s way of thinking.

Other ways of gaining leverage can come from being seen as an authority, or from showing remarkable insight, understanding and connection with how the person sees the world. The latter largely depends on well-developed calibration skills. If your calibration skills are excellent, you can accurately read how the other person is thinking and feeling about you. This can allow you to pre-empt any objections before they are consciously voiced or before they become set in stone in the person’s conscious mind.

Quite often I see people unconsciously displaying the beginnings of an objection to my leading or suggestions, and because I catch these objections before they become properly formed (thus avoiding battling the ‘consistency agenda’ people feel they should stick to), I am able to avoid the objection. How do you avoid the objection? As soon as you see the beginnings or doubt or objection being displayed non-verbally, you soften your request and slide into vaguer language – looking again for a ‘bite’.

A bite is the opposite of the unconscious objection. I also think of it as a ‘hit’. This is when the person displays (usually non-verbally) that you have said something which has had a big impact. It shows you have found something of importance to that person – a potential in-road to their mental/emotional world. This comes from displaying an understanding of how they see the world.

Look, most people move through life feeling rather lonely and not understood. If you can enter that person’s life in way which is enjoyable and acceptable to them and display rare insight into what is important to them, then you become one in a million and your value skyrockets. That gives tremendous leverage. The fact that you have gained this leverage from your calibration skills and not from the usual methods people use (such as asking direct questions) adds to how remarkable your understanding of them seems – this increases your connection and leverage cumulatively.

 

-SteviePUA

www.steviePUA.com

 

Discuss this post in the NEL Forums.

by SteviePUA

I want to outline a concept which is a technique I have used for years with great result. Much of what I do is intuitive. I know I do it but it’s hard to pin down in concrete terms. I pinned something down recently after some reflection. In coming up with effective, congruent uncanned material (on-the-fly) people often struggle because what they want to say doesn’t fit the situation and the person the are interacting with. To make an effective impact you have to take the person’s state into account. Therefore, if you are set in advance on using a canned script and it doesn’t quite match the situation and/or the state of the person you are dealing with, guess what happens? You come across incongruent or what you are saying doesn’t ‘go in’ well because it doesn’t fit with the state the person is currently in.

There is a technique I want to talk about. I call it “REPACKAGING”.

People ask me how I am able to stay congruent and make what I am saying fit with the situation. The reason is my real, genuine emotions – things I have felt in the past (and are hence congruent) get repackaged into new stories to fit the current situation. The feelings are real, the content to carry the feelings is new.

The benefit of this is clear. What you are saying has genuine congruence because as you reaccess those feelings you have had in the past, you re-experience those feelings again. You take on some of that emotional state again. It’s like dipping your brush into a paintpot and it emerges with the new tinge of colour ready to be spread onto the canvas. You reaccess those feelings and then you create a story to fit the current situation you are in. The story is the vehicle for those emotions. In telling that story, you are aiming to change the state of the person you are with. By telling the story you are ‘painting’ their mind with some of the colour of the emotions on your brush. The content of the story is designed to fit with what you know is likely to be acceptable to the person. Your story can be made up to fit the needs of the person. Your emotions behind the story are real and because your emotions are real your story is congruent. For the duration of your story, if you do this right, you will, on one level BELIEVE your story really happened. That allows you to be totally congruent.

So, the steps here are

1. notice (calibrate) the state of the person

2. decide where you want to take the person in terms of state. Be realistic about what is likely to be acceptable to that person.

3. Think of a time when you felt that state you want the person to feel.

4. Reaccess some of the feelings you had in that state

5. As you continue to feel those emotions, create a story to fit the current situation. The story is a vehicle to show the emotions you want the person to feel.

6. You pull the person into your world as you engage them and they get involved in the emotions behind the story which has been designed to interest them.

7. By repackaging your genuine emotions into a new, purpose-designed story, your content is congruent and you lead the person into the new state. Make it something positive and something to take you forward in your relationship with them.

Remember, the emotional communication (subcommunication) is the more important thing here.

SteviePUA

by SteviePUA

I have been asked me about uncanned material. Coincidently, I wrote about this a couple of days earlier to a guy asking about the same question. Part of being able to come up with things on the fly is training and trusting your unconscious to provide for you. For me I got tons of practice at my job of talking to people on the fly so that was a major help in being able to come up with things without having to think about them much. However, an accountant (I am NOT an accountant) could perhaps talk all day and bore people. The trick is to not only come up with stuff on the fly but also to make the subject matter you bring up seduction/PU oriented. Then when your unconscious provides for you, the stuff it comes up with is automatically in the right area for PU/getting closer to people.

One way I did this was to create a on-the-fly practice game involving cards. I used these to go from

1. Fluff

to

2. Theme

to

3. Pattern

There is a progression there from less personal to more personal. The aim (and this is indirect game) is to go smoothly into seductive/PU areas. Learning patterns off by heart and trancewords means I can pull out parts of them and slot them in to stuff I make up on the fly. Making this kind of speaking part of your everyday communication is important so you are not ‘doing something’, it is actually part of how you really think and speak.

Another thing I thought about which helps to be uncanned is what I have called “Threads of Possibility”. Here are my thoughts on this insight I had:

The secret is in training the unconscious mind to be able to link idea to other ideas as you are speaking. Think about when you are talking to someone, you not only have the ideas of what you are talking about, but you ALSO have other little threads of conversation which sit alongside the main thread. These are threads of possibility. Much of the time they never get explored.

When you are not scripting you have all the little threads which pop up but get shelved away usually because you are having a 50-50 conversation, so trying to meet the needs of the other person. Or you might be led BY the other person. Either way, your threads are dropped and remain unvoiced in the presence of the other person. Often they drop out of your consciousness forever or until sparked off by a related topic.

The secret is to explore these themes in the dominant frame of a PUA in the selling himself (creating value) stage where you are dominating in an elegant way, perhaps 70-30 or more. Then you make sure to get out these threads of possibility and getting them out triggers new threads of possibility.

The best way it works for me is to have a stock number of themes around which I can structure my stories and observations. I bring out ideas which I have experienced in life and take the emotions from those experiences and shift them into new stories and asides. Therefore there is congruence. I really am feeling some of what I felt in the past. It’s just that I perhaps repackaged them to fit the current situation – to make what I am saying ‘acceptable’ and likely to make an impact on the person it is targeted towards.

I think playing a practice game, either solo or with a partner, creating stories … noticing themes which you feel comfortable and are congruent with is a way to train your unconscious mind to provide for you. Then when out in the field you can fall back on these themes and repackage them to fit the context.

The openers I personally like best and find work for me best are situational/neutral entertaining openers – something shaped to fit the person I am talking with – something to put them at their ease and engage them and pull them into my world. To do this you need to start noticing things to comment on and packaging them in a way to engage the person, taking their current state into account.

By SteviePUA -
http://pua.zap.to