NEL Blog

C&F, Take-aways, not leaning in, showing disinterest, NEGing… these are advanced techniques. They are meant to demonstrate that you’re not going to just submit all your value to someone just because they have a pussy.

Well guess what… that shit only works when two conditions are met:

1) you HAVE value in the first place

Most people do not have enough value to be using this kind of shit, especially heavily. Unless you’re a high-flying salesman, or just a super-cool dude already – you’d be much better off working on building up your value. As in, becoming a cooler dude to be around, to interact with, etc.

2) the chick you are talking to is used to guys submitting to her

Most CHICKS are NOT used to this. We’re not in Hollywood here, this is the North of England man… Our girls ARE LSE! Even the hot ones! They are not used to cool guys being cool to them.

Conclusion:

Fuck the disinterest side of shit – you can calibrate that later. First and foremost develop high value, or become what I think of as a value cannon.

General principles:

a) In each interaction focus on giving value, rather than outcome/whatever (Cred: Skill)

b) Show interest/attention.

What is a high value guy?

In social interactions, simply, is a dude who can create positive (addictive) emotions in the people around him. So people think, yea that’s the dude who makes everyone laugh or creates a party atmosphere, or always has a positive outlook, etc.

If you really need some work in this area you may want to consider forgetting about getting laid for now and for 2 weeks make a commitment – in EVERY social situation you are in you are to be the HIGHEST energy, the FUNNEST guy, and DEFINATELY the guy having the MOST FUN!!

Do that  – watch your popularity with everyone shoot.

Then do it 1-1 with chicks – works a lot better than being aloof right?

“If someone can’t chat me up, how can they expect to chat a girl up?” – Sideiei (PUA)

Awesome statement, 100% true. Apply to community dudes you meet… if they are not cool to hang around with dudes, no way girls will think they are cool either.

List of things you can do TODAY to increase your value to the people around you:

1) Always consider the most positive outcome.
2) Become a solution finder, instead of a problem finder.
3) Learn to tell good stories.
4) Learn to have the most fun… the dude having the most fun IS the most fun!
5) Never ever ever whine, complain, create problems, get in the way of plans, or even be TOO QUIET. If you’re in a bar and you’re in a group, and you’re not involved in a conversation - get involved in one and bring a positive energy to it.
6) Get in shape, smile more, clean yourself up – basically become more attractive to look at.
etc.

Be the value giver, the party bringer, the high-energy dude, the guy who makes everyone feel better about the situations, the optimist.

And forget NEGs completely.

See where it gets you.

RagsToRich