NEL Blog

By SteviePUA

I just made a high impact impression on a girl. What kind of impression was it? She left feeling intrigued, attracted, seeing me as a valuable man and knowing where I live in case she wants to call round. This was a pretty, blonde chic, cute, about 25 years old with ample assets. What were the elements that allowed me to make this impression? They are many of the elements I use when meeting any new person. Let’s look at some of them:

1. Context.

Firstly, I was in a context that allowed the interaction to flow, seem natural and enabled me to lead in a way that she found easy to follow. Neutral Entertaining Openers work on this same principle. I was running for the elevator in my building with my shopping bags in hand and she was already in the elevator. I shouted, with humour and energy, to hold the lift because I had my shopping. Cialdini, in his book on influence writes about increased compliance being gained when the word ‘because’, is used after a request, even if the request and reason are not logically related. She held the lift. I then paced her reality by asking if she was going up (the elevator could only go up!) and using humour by saying how my arms would be longer if I’d missed the lift because my shopping bags were so heavy. She was focused on me, following along smiling and laughing.

2. Social Proof.

Accompanying me, helping me carry the shopping was my LTR. She was taking directions from me in the lift about where to put the box she was carrying for me. I was leading the interaction with two chicks. I had the dominant frame. Also it was quite high energy, leading with an element of humour. Think of a good natured boss managing a reliable worker while checking out the potential of another potentially employable helper who he suspects would enjoy working for the company.

3. Cold reading

Sub-consciously, I must have noted she was wearing a blue uniform under her jacket. I didn’t think of this consciously at the time, only afterwards. In the lift, I said she looked like a nurse. She was surprised I could know her background so accurately within the first moments of meeting her. She volunteered to me that she is actually a mid-wife. My being able to know something about her world so fast built a lot of intrigue. Cockily, I told her ‘I’m very perceptive’.

4. Authority

When mentioning her job, she said she worked in the town of Lincoln . I immediately thought of Lincoln green – the colour that Robin Hood and his merry men were famous for wearing. I told her if she works in Lincoln she should be wearing a green uniform, not a blue one. She again giggled and agreed with me. Here is a chick I’ve known for less than a minute agreeing with my choosing her uniforms for her. Now, it’s true that I like chicks in sexy uniforms, and it was cool that she was accepting my suggesting she take off one set of clothes and put on another, but that is not the main point here. The wider point is I was directing the chick, being commanding and she was accepting those suggestions.

5. Connection

With the interaction going so well (and I knew this from her non-verbal reaction i.e. her smiling, giggling, eye contact and from her verbal responses i.e. was volunteering information about her job and her place of work) I wanted to add an element of deliberate connection. I pointed out that it was nice to meet a fellow English person in the building as most people in the building are not English. She lit up immediately and agreed. She said it was indeed rare to meet local people where we live and it was a good experience for her too. I suppose the whole while I was setting a jealousy trap for my LTR who was being kept on hold during the interaction. I walked the chick to my door so she’d know where to find me and told her it had been good to meet her. I left a powerful impression on her.

There were no overt sexual come-ons from me but my approach allowed me to build intrigue, attraction and rapport. It is the kind of approach I use very often in other field situations – creating an impression where the target is intrigued, attracted and connected yet she doesn’t know if the feelings she is experiencing are coming from me or are being spontaneously generated within herself.

In other field experiences, I use the same type of techniques to make a powerful impression.

SteviePUA