NEL Blog

by Colonel

Last year when I was in Birmingham I had a brief flirtation with internet dating and I got shitloads of response from it, there was one spell where I went 13 consecutive days meeting up with chicks!

I had 4 regulars on the go for months, but in a 6 month period from Jan-June last year I slept with around 20 chicks. The majority were internet but I also had a fuck buddy on the go up North and a couple of ‘random’ one night stands as well.

It was crazy but I’ll give you an insight into how I coped with it….

Each girl I decided was going to be advanced to the sex stage I got them into a situation where I would probably go out on 2 or 3 ‘dates’ and then after that it was sex.

After sex I would decide if it was worth continuing. If it wasn’t I would either ignore them (not a good idea) or say thanks but no thanks.

With the ones I decided to advance to sex, thereafter it was strictly round at my place or round at their place. I rarely spoke to them other than to arrange the next meet up (and that was usually once a week). I would occasionally text or email them, maybe 1 text and 1 email a week (this was after I had fucked them remember).

My regulars probably suspected something was going on with other chicks but they never really asked and I never really told, maybe this is they way to handle it now as well?

I once got one chick that I had fucked a couple of times and she was blonde, she hit the fucking roof when she found a long black hair in my bed!! if it was now I would say, ‘I’m seeing other women’. At that time I simply said ‘Next’.

It was really hard work and there were times I was thinking, what I wouldn’t give to sit in on my own watching Sky Sports!!

Nice problem to have though……

• Questions:

How do you handle such a situation? I have thought of getting a little black book and keeping a list of the girls I’ve met, and a few notes about where I’m up to with them and when I’m due to meet them.
(guitar_whizz)

This is a good idea, I did similar, I also programmed reminders into my phone and outlook so I knew when to call or meet up with these chicks

Another thing, if you’re just seeing a girl as a fuck buddy, then after I’ve fucked her a few times would it be acceptable to ditch her for good or just keep her on the backburner? If I kept her on the backburner and didn’t contact her for a few weeks or months I wonder if a shag would still be out of the question? I texted a girl I met in january the other day, yet she was up for talking to me.
(guitar_whizz)

Once a chick is in ‘Fuck Buddy’ frame there is no limit to the amount of time between contacting and having sex with them. I was supposed to be meeting an FB from Birmingham who now lives in Leeds last weekend for 2 hours, for sex on Sunday afternoon. It was only becuase of a minor glitch that I didn’t. I haven’t fucked her for 10 months and I speak to her once a month at most, mostly about who else I have fucked recently.

You must keep some form of contact going though.

On another occasion I had severed ties with 2 FB’s and then realised I was going to be in Birmingham for another month so I simply picked up the phone, called them, gave them some shit excuse and got access to sex again!

Final question, how is good to go about telling a girl that you don’t want her as a girlfriend but just as a fuck buddy? I mean, if I was to say it directly she might feel used, I dunno.
(guitar_whizz)

Basically if you have a chick and you text her once a week and shag her once a week, that frame has ‘fuck buddy’ written all over it. She will accept that frame and go with it (some may hope more will come of it obviously)

I have realised all this shit is subliminal and girls just assume different frames that you set for them. Women look for men to lead, be in control and set the frame. I don’t think you should ever say to a chick ‘you’re my fuck buddy’.

What you will find is that after a time she will say that to you. This may well be a shit test but at the end of the day if she understands the frame then you have done it right.

This is in contrast to ‘Girlfriend Frame’ That frame involves multiple texts and phonecalls, seeing her twice a week or more, doing activities and going for walks and shit together, eating in restaurants, having ’serious’ conversations you get the picture……

You may find your girls may just assume GF frame and initially at least will try to text you a lot and shit. If you don’t want that make sure you just act in FB frame and they will come into line.

Also I have realised by having several chicks on the go at once you become very non needy. In fact you don’t give a fuck about them and this makes you look very confident and they love it!

I belive that men become needy with chicks because they don’t have other options. Women become needy for very different reasons, but that’s another post!

Maybe it is better to say casually you are dating other chicks? It’s a tough one, but by writing this I think I have answered my own questions as well, so thanks for that!

One thing though, in the past I have had girls say to me (after only 1 or 2 dates) ‘are we an item then?’. In one case I really liked the girl and was happy to be ‘going out’ with her, but I actually had to say to one girl ‘well I prefer to get to know a girl before getting too serious’. So basically, was I on the right lines, or is there something better I could say if I get asked the dreaded question ’so are we an item?’.
(guitar_whizz)

You could just do a bit of humour and say something like, ‘That’s so 1920’s’ and then say my Grandma used to come out with shit like that and say stuff like ‘are you courting’ and then change the subject quickly! You didn’t answer the question and just busted her on it.

Alternatively you say something like. Erm I’ll have to get my people to look into it and I’ll get back to you on this, OK? and smile!

Make sure you make it humourous so you are in the ‘I’m joking’ frame but of course as Dave D says, never give a straight answer unless it’s no!

The other issue was ensuring they didn’t find out about each other.
(xavier)

It was in Birmingham, it’s a big city. At one point I had the city divided into Zones, like ‘New Dates Zone’ ”2nd Date Zone’ and seriously considered having 2 phones as well.

For some of the time I had this french guy lodging with me as a favour to a mate for a couple of months and he was the biggest player I have ever seen! The cliches are all true!

In his room he had endless clothes racks with about 50 designer suits, and had about 3000 pairs of shoes. Real good looking smooth mother fucker, half italian half arab and lived in France all his life, never saw him with less than a HB9, You can imagine!!!!

He had 5 on the go at one time, we had to be real careful non of the girls ever met in the house just incase one of them realised that I had been with 3 different birds each time she saw me! I had to do the same for him.

Anyway he came unstuck in a bar when he was out with one and another one came over, he said he ‘didn’t ever imagine British women could be so angry’?? WTF!!

The way he dealt with it was by actually physically running out of the bar and leaving the 2 chicks to sort it out amongst themselves. Awesome.

That’s why you never take em out after you have fucked them if you are keeping them all quiet from one and other!!

Hope this helps.

Colonel

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