Orbiter Game
Sometimes, no matter how I am with a woman I’m not interested in, I’ll manage to get her attracted and give off huge signals that she has a chance with me. Now, I don’t always complain about this; my penchant for punching below my weight during ‘dry spells’ in order to get the ball rolling is a well documented fact. But there are times when I’m raising my standards, and it’s these exact times that the sharks move in.
In community parlance, they are known as orbiters. They are the female equivelant of what we used to be to girls before stumbled accross this game we now play. Yep; it’s girls who are more widely known as having orbiters. There was this one girl in one of my classes a couple of years ago at uni…she had THREE orbiters. She’s walking into a lecture, into the student bar…anywhere I saw her, they’re there, opening doors, full of smiles trying to out-ingratiate each other in voice and in manner. Actually made me vomit once.
Nah just kidding, but I did cringe intensely.
To be fair on the cocksuckers, she was extremely hot. So naturally, I made my attempt. While I never slept with her, I did get on well and we became friends. So when we saw each other we’d joke around, and have a bit of fun. Her orbiters? HATED me. Absolutely hated me. I would play to this by being overly polite to them, shaking their hands and so on, and they typically would not reciprocate. I knew they were sending vibes to the universe for pidgeons to fly into my eyes or something, but little did they know that exactly that attitude is what is making the fittie smile at me, not them: creating a negative spiral of hell.
Being as I used to BE that insecure guy, I think I can now see both sides of the story pretty well. The thing is, I’m a nice person and I don’t like spreading badness into the world. I won’t brush girls off or ignore them like other people of such awesomely high value as myself.
So because of this, these orbiter girls either…
a) they think they have a chance, they see my niceness as a sign I’m attainable, since another guy might not have been so cordial, or…
b) they see that I won’t brush them off and therefore know they can keep trying, and in the meantime we enjoy each others company so if nothing happens nothing is lost.
The a) girls I don’t bother with because for whatever reason (infatuation maybe?) they are not seeing the real situation: they actually think they might end up in a relationship with me! This may sound a little harsh to be putting it like this, but they DON’T have a chance, and we all have people around us who don’t have a chance with us, don’t we?
So it would hurt them just to sleep with them when I don’t want anything longer term…unless I can explain the situation and feel sure they are cool with it. The b) girls are true orbiters, in the a useful way. If I’m on a dry spell, I’ll go for these chicks. They know the deal on some level but nonetheless I will test the water by saying I’m not into relationships (bring this up subtly!), and give my reasons for that. I’m quite honest about that. Depending on the response to that, I am able to tell if they’re down for a one night stand.
But either way, what I NEVER do to girls is offer more than I am willing to give (eg., a relationship).
When playing orbiter game, managing expectations in this way is the most important part. They are already sufficiently attracted by definition.
You MUST to stick to your decisions. If you befriends a girl, you are FRIENDS. Stick to that. Friends are not orbiters… with friends who you see often, feelings may rise and fall depending on each of your circustances, but do not ruin this holy sacrement. It’s best to view any sparks that pop up as mutual state pumping, you’re just two attractive people making sure you don’t forget that.
I know that occasionally the friends become lovers thing happens, but that happens way down the line; not next week when you decide you want a fuck. So if a girl is your friend, that is the choice you have made and deal with it.
When you see the orbiters around, game a little, but do not escalate and do not use too much kino. It’s similar to when a girl has an orbiter; they guy is in that limbo zone where they get attention but not affection, which makes them want it more. I’m careful not to ‘lead on’ girls like this, because there’s the possibility of validating them; they should get their validations from you through sex. The pattern seems to be, you validate them and it opens a window, and if you don’t fuck it shuts and they’re not interested again.
So when you want to go for it with an orbiter, it’s pretty much a matter of just closing. All the prior work is done for you by definition. The following is a good opener, and sets the frame nicely:
“You better have missed me!”
Chat for as long as you deem necessary. Then say something like “I’m bored. Shall we go?”
If you don’t want to sleep with them, you can just be friendly, and get them to buy you drinks or introduce you to their friends.
Some people view orbiters as a bad and annoying thing. This is not the case at all. It means girls like you, which means you are doing well.
You know, there’s another thing. There are some chicks who I’ve met in a club… and seen her there many times after. They are not quite orbiters… we’ll chat and flirt a bit, but maybe she’s taken, or I’m with someone already or just too drunk. But there’s this strange understanding where we are not rude to each other, touch each other a little, then carry on our night. It’s almost like we are both keeping the window open in case there’s a night we’re both out and up for it. And then sometimes there is! Any one else notice this mutual “window keeping open”?