NEL Blog

Getting laid without approaching is rare (but not impossible), leaves few options, requires luck, and is basically not something any man should rely on. Most of the time approaching is the one action which is absolutely necessary to put you and a chick on the path to having sex with each other.

Unless you have absolutely no problem approaching, in which case you already have a trait most people would consider that of a natural, then you will by now be well aware of that feeling the community refers to as Approach Anxiety. The feeling can verge from stifling to paralytic, and the logical arguments the brain makes up come in all kinds of forms – “I don’t have enough energy”, “I’ll do it in a minute”, “They look like they are not out to pull/have boyfriends/other random disqualifier reason”. The truth is you can only find out what the deal with a chick is by talking to her.

Here are ten tips for becoming a prolific approacher.

1. Always be prepared to have to face and overcome AA

There is no way to diminish AA fast – literally there really is no magic pill. It is caused by deep rooted emotional circuitry in your brain; these habits change slowly and die hard. Forget any dreams of defeating your AA in weeks or even months – it takes years of field work (often agreed to be approximately 2-5 years of regular approaching). Over time the feeling gradually diminishes, but even some of the best PUAs in the world have to still overcome, or “barrel-through”, the feeling to make it happen.

Getting caught “off guard” by AA is a common mistake that me and many of my wings used to make. After having a prolific night of approaches we would go out another night and expect to be in the same mode as the night before, but it’s just not the case. Go in prepared to have to overcome your AA every night you go out, that way you won’t get caught up time-wasting.

2. Warm-ups

There is no doubt that just approaching strangers and asking shit diminishes your AA in the short-term. Even dumb questions like “What’s the time?” or “Can you tell me where the nearest cash-point/coffee shop/bar is?” But you should be able to coax yourself into approaching just by telling yourself that you’ll just be asking a quick easy normal question. A great time for warm-ups is whilst walking to your sarging spot/venue –best to do them before you get there so that by the time you arrive you are already in approach mode.

3. Rejections

Brad P said that nothing kills his AA for the rest of the night than a good solid rejection early on. This is a great mindset to have, so instead of being afraid of an early rejection you should embrace the opportunity. Take hold of the freedom that a horrid rejection presents you with – the worst of the night is over.

4. Time-limit challenges.

If you haven’t done any approaches in the night yet, give yourself 5 minutes to approach. Tell your wing so that you put extra weight behind your commitment. Over the next 5 minutes do not allow yourself to be too distracted by anything else, look for every opportunity to get into set – you’ll find one.

5. Pump your state

There’s no doubt that if you’re in a good mood and high energy state that approaching is much easier. This is a technique I use a lot and there are plenty of ways to achieve it; for example doing really loud animal impressions with each other, just generally whooping and creating a fuss, dancing around, etc. Basically pump your own, and your wing’s, buying temperature and then plough straight into a set when you feel high energy.

6. Enjoy your time in set

When I am in set, 99% of the time I am the guy having the most fun. I am having more fun than the guys, more fun than the girls. I go in set, and basically entertain myself, flirt, play around, banter, tell stories, I love it. There are a few reasons why this is awesome – not the least of being that it helps to associate those positive feelings with the anchor of approaching.

7. Do a few shots

I can just imagine a few people recoiling in disgust at this comment. There’s no doubt that ultra-confident totally sober dude holds all the aces. However, that’s an ideal and it’s far from the reality of most people. If you do like to drink on a night out, rather than having 4 beers over the course of 5 hours; do 3 quick shots in the space of 5 minutes right at the start of the night. You will get an immediate energy boosts which will allow you to immediately start a chain of approaches to kick-start the sarge. I’ve used this technique many times – and it’s a well known method to naturals.

8. Think up some openers you feel COMFORTABLE with which YOU enjoy

It’s important to emphasise that it is you that should feel comfortable with, and be entertained by, your canned openers. Because it’s really only your own reaction to them that matters, what you’re saying to the girls is almost completely unimportant as long as it’s something you find fun/cool/comfortable to say. A few of mine I’ve used over the past few months:

“Woah! Are you a rock-chick?” (emo-kid/indie-girl/raver)

They almost always say “no” but then you can easily steer them into qualification mode.

“Would you say that guys with tongue piercings are better at giving oral sex?”

I love this one because it’s instantly sexual, and I personally love giving oral sex so my eyes kinda light-up when I talk about it. Girls love that.

“Please tell me you guys would not think of cardigans/hoodies/gold-chains/whatever as a timeless classic…”

A very ‘safe’ opener with no obvious transitions; but usually spikes a little bit of interest due to the ear-catching “timeless classic” phrase (cred: Big T).

9. Negative wing motivation.

This is a great method. Your wing gives you 10 seconds to approach (he COUNTS on his fingers and looks menacing), if you don’t do it then he goes up to the chick and says something along the lines of:

“Hey… I just wanted to tell you that my typically average guy friend over there has seen you and fallen madly in love because he thinks you’re really beautiful. He is actually far too afraid to come and talk to you so he’s just going to stand over there and be scared and shy instead.”

This is great for a few reasons. First of all the embarrassment of knowing what’s to come will often make you approach. If you do not approach then there are still two good things that can happen. One is that the set will actually hook to your wing and the girl will get into him, and because he thinks he’s “approaching for a wing” then his own AA won’t trigger – trust me it happens like this. The other thing that can happen is that the girl will come right over and talk to you, which is also not a bad outcome.

10. Trance-states, mindfulness, state-shifting, etc.

State shifting is a huge topic on its own, but it’s worth a mention that one of the most effective ways to get out of a feeling of stiltedness is to reset or change your state in some way. There are a few ways of doing this, and there are numerous techniques which help to increase your capacity to do this. There are two techniques that I practice regularly that I CANNOT RECOMMEND HIGHLY ENOUGH.

i)                    Mindfulness meditation

I spend 10-60 minutes a day practicing formal non-judgemental awareness of the present moment. Mindfulness meditation has now been scientifically proven to give us greater control of our emotional mind, diminishing activity in parts of the brain associated with depression and anxiety, and increasing activity in the left pre-frontal cortex typically associated with positive emotions – http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-1424079446171087119

ii)                   Practicing “states in front of the mirror

It always alarms me just how powerful this practice is. I have a full-length mirror in my room and I spend at least 10 minutes a day practicing, as in acting out, various states such as “Gung-ho motivation”, “Happiness”, “Flirtation” etc. Actors and businessmen have been using techniques like this for many many years.

Make the gestures, body motions, facial expressions, and if you want then actually say shit to yourself too. Such as “Good things just keep happening to me now!” or “Lets do this, let’s DO this, let’s DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOoooooooooo!” You’ll be amazed at how much you can really affect your own state by doing this, as well as the added benefit that you get to practice your body and facial emotiveness which is attractive in and of itself.

RagsToRiches is a freelance journalist, self-development enthusiast, and complete party animal. Having discovered the community in Feburary 2007 he has gone from being an unemployed nerd with massive social anxiety, no friends, no money, and no life to being a successful cool party dude who gets laid with tons of awesome friends. His interests include travelling, writing, musical composition, pokemon impressions and howling like a wolf.

“Start as you mean to go on”, so the saying goes.

Sometimes you can talk to similar kinds of girls, but it’s like you’re two different people. On some occasions you roll up, bust out your choice line, and it just doesn’t go anywhere. You can feel it, it’s like there’s no energy to the conversation. It’s gone flat.

But then sometimes it’s just pure Harry Potter magic. You say one thing and it’s got her attention straight away, you follow up with something else equally awesome and she’s sold. Then it builds and builds and you’re on fire.

It’s all in how you start the conversation.

Now I’m not talking first impressions here. This is about you and your brain, not her. I’m talking about the kind of vibe you’re starting with.

If you start by asking boring questions/making boring statements, leaving any and all fun out of the conversation to begin with, you’re handicapping yourself, but not for the most obvious reasons. Not only are you handicapping yourself right now, but you’re also handicapping the rest of the conversation with this girl.

You see how you start is how you go on. Going with the above and being boring, your brain picks up on this. It thinks “hmm okay, time to be boring” and everything else you say from this point on is pulled from this side of your brain. Later on when you think of something to say, it’s coming from this boring part of your brain because that’s how you’ve set it up.

Now let’s roll through take two. You catch the eye of some young lovely lady who you’re 90% sure is over 16, and open with one of your best cocky-funny lines. What happens now is you set your brain up a different way, it now think “Alright, time to party!” and you’re now accessing this fun part of your brain.

Basically what you’re doing is starting the conversation the right way, not for her benefit, but for yours. Instead of starting with boring small talk and going down that route, you’re starting with something fun and going down that route instead.

However you start, your brain follows. Always better to set it up the right way (which is why I’m such a fan of pissing around, having fun).

Of course, this is a general rule and not a hard-and-fast one.

For starters, an interaction can always go one way or another. How many times have you started strongly only to mess it up at the least minute? And likewise how many times have you pulled off something awesome from nowhere?

The flow of a conversation can change at any point, and more often than not it’s far from straightforward. Starting a conversation the ‘wrong’ way isn’t a deal breaker, I’d consider it more of a handicap. You can start with boring spiel and do fine, but you’ll tend to get sucked into a boring way of thinking and struggle conversation-wise.

Why make things harder for yourself? If you’re gonna choose between two doors/paths, go for the easier, fun one. Make life that little bit easier for yourself.

Also, much like state, you don’t want to get into a habit of not approaching because things aren’t going the right way. Too often we think “no I’m not state in yet”, and there’s a similar risk with this.

Whatever happens, you still need to do your approaches.

Look, a fun conversation is always better than a boring/standard one, but a boring one is miles better than no conversation, stood with your dick in your hand.

Awesome conversation >> standard conversation >> no conversation >> sitting at home on Face book

One final point.

By “start of the conversation”, I mean in general. I don’t literally mean the first thing that comes out your mouth. I mean early on rather than right away, the earlier you bust out the fun mindset and get it up and running, the easier things will be.

Think of it like kino, the earlier you use it, the better.

That’s all there is to it. Start with the right kind of vibe, and you’ll make what follows that much more easier, fun and awesome.

Author Bio-
Having been a professional bitch of 19 years, Ty discovered the community in 2006. When not drunkenly sleeping with girls from his work, his interests include computer games, movies and colouring-in books. Ty prefers a more natural style of game, with a strong emphasis on fun and a healthy dose of cocky-funny.

Our very own Mangler has launched his new site at www.reallystronggame.com. Unlike most PU sites which focus on the end product, Mangler promises to document the whole journey from a beginner to a guy with, well, really strong game.  There’s loads of information up there on what the site is about, and it looks like Mangler is going to keep it updated with articles, fresh content and reviews of PU related products and sites.  Definitely worth checking out, get over to www.reallystronggame.com and bookmark it.   BTW anyone else really like minimalistic websites?  Mangler, don’t get all flashy with the site, I like it the way it is!! 

This article is a repost of a section of Jeff Galloway’s site, which deals with running and training. At www.jeffgalloway.com /training/beginners.html, he explains the first two of five stages of a runner; the beginner and the jogger. As I read it, I couldn’t help but be surprised at the parallels between starting running and starting PU. So I decided to copy the exert here, changing the language so that it matches our own goals. Check out Jeff’s site, it’s full of useful info, and for the final three stages (The Competitor, The Athlete and The Runner), you can check out pages 26-31 in Galloway’s Book on Running by Jeff Galloway (Shelter Publications, 1984).

The Five Stages of a PUA

The Beginner: Stage One: Making the Break
Every beginning is precarious. There you are, perched on the edge of starting something entirely new, yet there are distractions, even criticisms, that cause detours and dead ends. You want to be more confident, and better with women, but you may not realize how secure you’ve become in a sex-free world. Each time you go out to practice pick up, you encounter a new side of yourself – one that must somehow be integrated into your daily life.

There is usually a struggle within and without. The old lifestyle is there and offers security. When the energy of “beginning” wears off, it’s harder to motivate yourself to go out for that daily sarge. You’ll face a lot of obstacles at first. It’s all too easy to stop when the weather turns cold, when it rains or snows, or when you feel the persistent ache of approach anxiety before you’ve even left the house. You haven’t had to deal with these things before and the temptation to quit is strong.

Your approaching may also be threatening to your less proactive friends. Eventually, you – the beginner – and your non-PUA friends work it out. The transition period, however, can be unstable and uncomfortable for both. If you falter, the old world – comfortable in many ways – is waiting for you to slip back in. If you’re lucky enough to make new friends who share similar goals, you’ll probably find refuge in the “PUA” world while you gain your “approach security.”

Social reinforcement makes it easier to establish the approaching habit. One good approach is to find a group that meets regularly. Or you can make a pact with a friend who drags you out on bad days and vice versa. Winging and going to seminars are great opportunities to meet people.

At times you may not progress as fast as you expected. We Westerners are traditionally hyperactive and impatient. When we plant a seed, we not only want it to grow, we want it to become a tree by next week. We want results. When you start, you want to feel the psychological benefits of increased confidence. But if you push too hard, you can tire yourself out and end up quitting in frustration.

The seed of game – if you don’t crush it – will survive periods of moisture and drought. Just when it seems to be drying up, it will spring to life, rejuvenated, and propel you further down the road. Don’t be discouraged, even if you’ve stopped. Tomorrow’s another day. Many beginners stop and start again 10 or 15 times before they get the habit established. Beginners who don’t put pressure on themselves seem to have an easier time staying with it. If you simply do 3-4 approaches every other day, you’ll find yourself gently swept along in a pattern of relaxation and good feeling. Your approaching starts to become a special time for you. As you make progress you find within yourself the strength and security to keep going. At first you’re “just visiting” that special world when you go out to approach. But gradually you begin to change. You get used to the positive relaxed feeling. Your mind starts cleaning itself up, establishing a stronger frame, and your state improves. One day you find you’re addicted, and the beginner becomes a PUA.

The PUA: Stage Two – Entering the New World
The PUA feels secure with approaching. It may be hard to start each day’s approaches but, unlike the beginner, you can identify with those who are addicted. You may be intimidated by the “high achievers” – bootcamp instructors, or guys who are authoritative on the forums – but you have begun to understand the benefits of pick up and made a significant break with the old, non-sarging world. The PUAs approaches are satisfying in themselves. There is almost always a “glow” at the end of the day’s practice, a reward for the effort. If you miss a practice session you may feel guilty – a rare experience for the beginner. Beginners often complain that they’re intimidated while approaching, but PUAs find this problem decreases and then disappears as their experience increases.

Rarely does a PUA have a plan or goal. Most approach as a healthy diversion and don’t feel the need to get anything more out of it. They just get out there when they can and do what they can. Those who do feel they need a plan often think they don’t know enough to prepare one. They may pick up a few tips from a more experienced PUA, or get ideas from a forum or ebook. Unfortunately this often ends in frustration or anxiety, because such plans are not based upon the PUA’s own individual abilities and goals, but upon someone else’s.

At first you probably needed a group or at least another person for motivation and direction. As a PUA, you are a bit more independent. You’ll prefer company to sarging alone, but you’ll pick and choose your group with care. Most beginners seek anonymity within a group while PUAs often enjoy identification with a group.

As a beginner you may have attended a few lair meets or possibly a seminar. PUAs, however, mark the big events on their calendars. These are motivational stepping stones to keep the daily approaches on track. There will often be one major event in the PUA’s schedule, like the next Big NEL Meet Up Event, or a bootcamp. Although you’re not sarging to make money, or for a company, a sense of competition may begin to develop. By piecing together a growing series of successful and non-threatening sarging experiences, you begin the transition into a more sex-filled lifestyle.

There are always conditions – loss of free time, a partner dropping out, a return of old though patterns – that may stop your approaching and force you to start over again as a beginner. You may lose the motivation to keep going. A PUA will sometimes give up sarging completely, but usually will start again after an extended layoff.

For the next three stages (The Competitor, The Athlete and The Runner), please see pages 26-31 in Galloway’s Book on Running by Jeff Galloway (Shelter Publications, 1984) – you can translate these yourself!

Discuss this post in the NEL Forums.

By SteviePUA

Going ‘under the radar’ is very powerful because it helps avoid any objections. Gaining influence indirectly over someone is a process with many strands. One of these strands is the ‘foot in the door’ mechanism, which I use as a variation of pacing and leading.

Let’s say you want someone to do something or to think in a particular way. It is powerful to begin by saying or doing something which is acceptable to them. Don’t go for the bigger result immediately. Give them something they can readily accept. Once a small request has been granted, it is far easier to then progress to a bigger request. The opposite approach to this (which can work well too) is to go for a bigger request than the one you really want, and when that is refused, you then give your actual (smaller) request which is then seen as much more acceptable in comparison to the big request.

Pacing and leading works similarly to ‘foot in the door’ – you say something which can be verified as being true in that person’s experience. You follow this up with something else and something else (also verifiable) and then add in something (your suggestion) which may or may not be quite so verifiable. Because your previous statements were seen as true and were accepted, the tendency is for the person to accept the suggestion. As a person is thinking about these ideas and reading the articles that I have written, you can notice the environment around you and begin to realise how powerful this knowledge can be when used in the right circumstances. That lets you notice that sense of curiosity and wanting to find out more. See?

This becomes even more powerful when the suggestions you use are initially easily acceptable and are amped up once the foot in the door has been gained. It is about gaining leverage into the person’s way of thinking.

Other ways of gaining leverage can come from being seen as an authority, or from showing remarkable insight, understanding and connection with how the person sees the world. The latter largely depends on well-developed calibration skills. If your calibration skills are excellent, you can accurately read how the other person is thinking and feeling about you. This can allow you to pre-empt any objections before they are consciously voiced or before they become set in stone in the person’s conscious mind.

Quite often I see people unconsciously displaying the beginnings of an objection to my leading or suggestions, and because I catch these objections before they become properly formed (thus avoiding battling the ‘consistency agenda’ people feel they should stick to), I am able to avoid the objection. How do you avoid the objection? As soon as you see the beginnings or doubt or objection being displayed non-verbally, you soften your request and slide into vaguer language – looking again for a ‘bite’.

A bite is the opposite of the unconscious objection. I also think of it as a ‘hit’. This is when the person displays (usually non-verbally) that you have said something which has had a big impact. It shows you have found something of importance to that person – a potential in-road to their mental/emotional world. This comes from displaying an understanding of how they see the world.

Look, most people move through life feeling rather lonely and not understood. If you can enter that person’s life in way which is enjoyable and acceptable to them and display rare insight into what is important to them, then you become one in a million and your value skyrockets. That gives tremendous leverage. The fact that you have gained this leverage from your calibration skills and not from the usual methods people use (such as asking direct questions) adds to how remarkable your understanding of them seems – this increases your connection and leverage cumulatively.

 

-SteviePUA

www.steviePUA.com

 

Discuss this post in the NEL Forums.

Haaa, this is something that I used to get so much pre-PU. It’s when your out one night and you have some, typically two, ‘leads’ for pulling that night. Often the situation is, one is fitter than the other but the least fit one would be easier. And you try to stay on the fence and game the fitter one, thinking that you can move back to the easier option if you don’t make it all the way with your first choice. Then something happens and you can’t pull the fitter one, then immediately after you find you’ve lost your chance to pull the other, and the bottom line reason is, you spent too much time with the other girl and wasted the chance.

Even pre-PU, this has gotten me several times, and post-PU, it still gets me. Take last night as a completely random example of this. It was completely ON with one girl, a not great body but pretty face and lovely girl. She was drunk, all over me, all the kino signs were there (pushing breasts into me when talking, close talking, in my personal space a lot, cheeks touching when talking, no resistance to any kino from me), and she verbally stated she was into me. And she was very horny/psyched up. The other chick, was hotter, not as much fun in the student party time sense of the word but cool and I could have a cool conversation with her. At first I was thinking I’d go for the less hot one, but as soon as it became more-or-less a sure thing I started getting a bit greedy, and the above scenario played itself out.

What happened was, the less hot girl was picked up by someone else (literally about 20 seconds from him walking up to her to kissing her, and this guy was no PUA/model to give an idea of how horny she was!). Meanwhile, I just could not get the hot one into a useable state (don’t mean that to sound manipulative…I mean into a more excited/cheerful state), she was a pretty ‘cool’ character and probably needed lots of ‘trust and comfort’ game which I didn’t have the time or effort for.

My problem here, as it has been always, was that I wanted the easiness of one chick with the looks of the other, conveniently forgetting these are not contained within the same girl. You get a good chance with one girl and you forget that even if it’s ON, there is still work to do and you can’t leave her to her own devices in a club full of horny guys!

No longer will this happen! I have a new plan. Now, upon noticing the situation when it arises, I will make a choice based on the following factors – If I really just want a lay, I will simply go for the easier option and be happy with it. Such as if there has been a dry spell of new lays, I want to keep momentum going, or if I just want a down and dirty lay that night (my low standards are well documented), ie “take one for the scoresheet”. If I am happy with the current new lay situation, ie I am pulling pretty often, I will go for quality and forget the easy lay. For you, it may be different. You might have the gameplan “whichever girl is hottest I will go for, no matter what” or “whichever girl I enjoy talking to most is the one I will go for”. The point is that you have to have a decision rule for this situation, because indecisiveness has been thoroughly field tested and found to be maddeningly ineffective!

by Shezz

Everyone Fails. Whether it be at sports, in our jobs or with women – we all fail at some point in our lives. However, let me tell you that when i say you are going to forever banish the words ‘Fail’ and ‘Failure’ from your lexicon, i mean it…

How can one truly think, nay even dream about failing with women, it strikes me as being somewhat maddening and vaguely pathetic as to how anyone could think that ‘Failing’ to be successful around women could truly be called -’Failing’!

What do we perceive as failures – in seduction firstly:-

- Failing to have fun on a date
- Failing to approach
- Failing to be fluent in our conversations
- Failing to KINO
- Failing to maintain Eye Contact
- Failing to be fully justifiable when Complimenting
- Failing to ‘Be A Jerk’ or rather ‘Not being too nice’

Again! I say STOP! Extinguish the word FAILURE from your mindset, For you cannot fail with women, the only failure within a male to female interaction is her failure to see what a great prize you are – and take the opportunity with both hands.

ASSUME ATTRACTION!!! – YOU ARE A GREAT GUY!

Everyday, we wake up, hoping..just hoping that today will be our day, up like a lighting bolt, devour a delicious breakfast of eggs, streaky bacon, crunchy toast and a glass of orange juice as smooth as silk. We arrive at work on time to find that the boss is off sick for the week, leaving us chance to work at our own pace and happily browse away on these forums or do something else that is totally un-work related, such as throwing paper aeroplanes at female co-workers
It gets to lunch time, and outside in the courtyard you sit and eat your freshly prepared sandwich, as a beautiful woman walks past and flashes you a great smile. If only you think to yourself, if only i could get a woman like that…*sighs*

ASSUME ATTRACTION!!! – YOU ARE AN HANDSOME GUY!!!

What if you had a mindset, whereas every woman, every opportunity, every single thing that YOU truly wanted appeared easier than ever, that you could just reach out and take when you wanted to, not when Societal Programming deemed ‘correct’ or ‘proper’.
By Assuming Attraction, you can get ANYTHING you want, be that the woman of your dreams, the job of your dreams or anything else – Assume Attraction and your chance of getting what you want will increase tenfold.

ASSUME ATTRACTION!!! – YOU ARE UNIQUE!!!

What do i mean? Assume Attraction??

Do i mean ‘Assume that you are handsome’? YES!
Do i mean ‘Assume that you are capable’? YES!
Do i mean ‘Assume that you are funny’? YES!

Assume EVERYTHING that is positive, and what would truly endear you to other people!

Being Attractive is not necessarily being Handsome, Funny or Capable, being Attractive is the way you carry yourself, its the way you treat other around you, its the outlook you have on life, you are the positive one, the risk taker -the one who is unaffraid to embrace his masculinity to get what he truly wants and deserves.

ASSUME ATTRACTION!!! – YOU ARE AMAZING!!!

Take a look in the mirror, go ahead – smile, ask yourself, what woman wouldn’t even comprehend dreaming about being given the chance to spend even a millisecond of time with you in YOUR life, your life full of adventures, stories and Fun!
Women are a bonus, put here to enrich YOUR life, your life comes first – if women want to be part of it then it is upto them to prove that they are worthy of being included in the journey…

Love yourself, Why Not? How can anyone else love you if you don’t take care of who you are and love yourself first? Confidence is conveyed through the mind, and then the body – let those positive thoughts flow like a river – and Assume that Attraction!

Say it with me!

ASSUME ATTRACTION!!
ASSUME ATTRACTION!!
ASSUME ATTRACTION!!

And get what you want!

ASSUME ATTRACTION!!

And live your life to the fullest!

ASSUME ATTRACTION!!

And all the opportunities, all the enjoyable things, the luxuries, the jobs, the Women will be drawn to you!

Take that Interview by storm and GET THAT JOB!
Approach that 3set and CLOSE THOSE WOMEN!
Wake up everyday KNOWING that you are going to have a great day and that today will be just another day in YOUR great adventure…

ASSUME ATTRACTION!! -YOU ARE THE MAN!

Sarge On…

Learn how to approach, attract and seduce women – The Official Ebook of the NEL is available NOW…for FREE!!

If you’re completely unskilled with women…if you are the type of guy who wants, longs, and maybe even stares, instead of actually getting the girl, this book is definitely for you.

If you’re a beginner or an intermediate, you can expect to move to the next level after reading and applying the principles of this book.

If you’re advanced, there are some fresh and new outlooks on game that you will find particularly enlightening, as well as a guide to stepping up to the world of threesomes and multiple relationships.

People who have read this book have said “Really impressed!” and “THE NEL EBOOK IS FUCKING AMAZING!!!”.

OK, OK, that last quote was from me, but still, it IS fucking amazing!

Here’s a quick breakdown of SOME of the things you’ll find inside:

• We know that getting good with women requires that certain verbal fluency, that gift of gab. Think you can’t get that? Think it’s something you’re born with, but can’t learn? Think again. It’s not easy, but it can be learned, and in this book you’ll find out how to do just that.
• How to use kino (a posh word for touch) in a dominant and committed way that builds attraction
• Insights into what we could call (for want of a better term) “female psychology”. This isn’t about learning tricks and manipulating people, it’s about developing social intelligence, something that people who are naturally good with women just seem to have by default. But you can learn it!
• How to use what we call “qualifying” – setting the frame where you are the ‘chooser’, not the girl.
• HOW TO GET THREESOMES. Let me just repeat that….HOW TO GET THREESOMES.
• How to use the logistics of night time venues to your advantage – you need to be stacking all these cards in your favour!
• A comprehensive and field-researched guide to meeting and closing (in other words, kissing, or getting the phone number of) girls that you meet in the daytime – and environment where most people think this is impossible. In this book you’ll find a step-by-step guide, from start to finish.
• How to develop your “inner game” – becoming an authentic man

There’s much more too, I don’t want to spoil the surprise too much!

In case you didn’t catch this earlier, this work is completely free. I know, usually when you read a webpage of this style, where you see the bullet points, and read the quotes, you’re expecting a price at the bottom. Well, on this one, there’s no price. Refreshing, isn’t it?

By now you’re probably wondering how to download it. Well, it’s simple.

Just click here.

by Shezz

I look around me, the fresh cool air blows in through my window, a banana skin lies sullen on my desk, a coffee mug stain is imprinted on my table, and dozens and dozens of notes on seduction lay scattered across my bed.

I look outside, the hustle and bustle of millions of people create a whirr of thoughts and cogitation in my head, it begs of me to ask the question…

What Have I Gained From This Site and What Do We Want To Be Able To Actually Access From It?

People are simple. Yes they are – People ARE simple.

Of all the races, in all the world, in all the universe – why is it that we have still failed to recoginize the potential that lies before our eyes.

Now, we all have different meanings and view of what this ‘Potential’ actually is, for some this may be:

- “An Excellent Sex Life”
- “A fabulous Job”
- “Great Health”
- “Strong Intellect”
- “Great Charisma”
- “Exceptional Social skills”
- “Adaptation Skills”
- “To be something, anything”
- “To HAVE a life worth living”

We all have a life – thats a no brainer, but how many of us actually LIVE a life? Not many.

For the majority of us, life is one big dream – something that can be passed through and will be good until its over – but we have no power over dreams, not consciously anyhow. If we look upon a dream as a kind of natural resource flowing within us, if we liken it to a river, a river shaped by our life experience, then its flow will not be changed simply by having someone on the shore urge a new direction on it. But if the person on the shore does the work necessary to make a change in direction possible, the flow will alter as desired. The point of the analogy is that there has to be more than conscious intent to influence the flow. There has to be a genuine emotional investment

So what are you getting at?

Let me explain.

I first started browsing this site some 2 years ago, never posting and always reading – i was a keyboard jockey – i never went out and sarged, i NEVER talked to strangers – i had no reason to, why did they want to talk to me?

I remember all those times when i would be walking through a shopping mall, and i would see that fat, ugly guy walking proudly with a girl who was indescribable, she was perfect – WHOA!! She just smiled at me (quick look away, look at the ground Shezz) ahhhh shes past, oof that was close! Im glad i didnt smile at the real sexy girl….wait….what am i talking about? I would stop, and look into the mirror like window of a passing shop, why am i so scared? Why cant i look people in the eyes, or smile, or talk to girls that i like, why havent i had a girlfriend and ive just turned 17!!!

I looked at myself again – acne plagued, puppy fat, shaved head, raggy clothes – do all these things make me look bad?….yes they..NO THEY DONT!!! WHY SHOULD THEY!?!?!

I cant control Acne – But i Damn Sure can beat it!!!
I can hit the Gym
I can get some new clothes
I can stop trying to be a white rapper and grow my hair!

Onwards i charged, digesting each of Pooks posts and combining them with Anti-Dumps, Vassagos, Krassus and the like – i started my progression to Shattering My Social Barrier.

1 Year passed, in that year id made some improvement – id made out with 5 girls!!! 5!!! – id beaten my acne finally – 7 years of treatment with Acid like creams and antibiotics had left my skin clear – i started to cherish that, id hit the gym, lost the puppy fat, my hair was stylish, but over all these things – the most important thing was that id changed my mindset and Shattered My Social Barrier.

Now, of this day – i have taken great strides to becoming the man i always wanted to be, and always knew i could be!

A plethora of Girlfriends, too-many, approaches daily – as if just natural, but more than anything – my mindset has truly evolved to be that of a true Alpha-Male, sure, i take care of my looks and style – but there are always going to be better looking guys than me, this is where I and YOU truly stand out – by recognizing that LOOKS dont matter – and that INNER game truly separated the men from the boys.

KNOW WHO YOU ARE FIRST, THEN USE YOUR INNER GAME TO YOUR FULLEST.

Theres nothing better than getting the better of a great looking guy (10) who has no ballz by using your PU Skills – when you get to that stage, its just unbeleivable – i believe that is the stage where you truly start to evolve.

THE SOCIAL BARRIER

My social barrier, OUR social barrier, develops over time – we arent born with it, we natural develop it – through years of distasteful talk regarding sex and the opposite sex, we develop a social barrier that nullifies our ability to approach, talk, and control the flow of conversations with the opposite sex without becoming flustered and nervous. Everyone does, it seems that these days – becoming nervous around girls is the most common disease of all – affecting probably 95+% of the male species, but what can you do to tackle this problem.

THERE IS NO MAGIC PILL

Go ahead, read, read, read, read, read – your knowledge on seduction and your overall intelligence will improve, you’ll gain useful insight onto WHY you can’t approach women, or even say Hi to strangers in the street – EXCELLENT ISNT IT! NO! ITS NOT!

No one ever learned to be a master PUA by just reading hoodlums of pages of seduction literature….without putting in the effort to get out and use it.

Ok, ok – this is a common statement. AND SO IT SHOULD BE!!!
IT IS ‘THE’ STATEMENT!!!

There is no success, there is no SHB, there is no FB, or glorious LTR without the input, without the commitment – without the FAILURES!!!

As mystery puts it: “There is no failure, Only Feedback” – this is so true it hurts, stamp it into your brainstem, write it on your wall and get out and DO!!!

There is not enough time to sit around and watch the world go by, there isnt enough time to watch your life crumble – as you yet again fail to approach that Girl that you really like, and really feel like you could make a relationship with or have for a fvck buddy.

To take some more advice from mystery – we are put on this world to primarily survive, and to survive we must come together as a race…and replicate!! YES – HAVE SEX!!!

Can we do this, this Natural process by sitting indoors and imagining this dream, and instead – ignore the scientific theories and TAKE CONTROL OF THIS DREAM!!!

What stopping you? Yes, right now what is stopping you from standing up, walking outside and approaching the first HB that you see?

SHATTER THE SOCIAL BARRIER!!!

Each one of our lives is shrouded in a veil, this dosnt obscure our movement, our sight, our smell – it obscures our Mindset! It is the thing that stops us from carrying out everyday, friendly, HUMAN activities in a natural way.

People are shy. Yes, People are shy and scared – Wellll, i dont know that person walking towards me, i shouldnt look at her or say hi incase she just ignores me!! REALISE THIS!! PEOPLE CARE, THEY WANT TO BE NOTICED, THEY WANT TO BE SEEN AND LOVED AND SEDUCED – EVERYDAY OF THEIR LIVES, THEY WANT TO HOLD CAREERS, HAVE HOUSES, CARS, PETS, GOOD FOOD – BUT ABOVE ALL ELSE – THEY WANT TO BE HAPPY, HEALTHY AND LOVED – THEN AND THEN ONLY CAN THEY ACHIEVE SELF-ACTUALISATION THAT THEY ARE THE PERSON THEY WERE BORN TO BE.

When im in my car – I wave to everybody, i shout to girls out of the window, i sing at the top of my lungs – Does that make me a bad person? LOL

Women wake up everyday, some 2 hours earlier than they should – to apply makeup, to pick out the best outfit, to select the best perfume – in hopes that this will be the day that the guy from her office, or the kid in gym class, or the old guy in the corner of the retirement home, or that perfect man…will walk into her life, grab his ballz and make her his!

DONT WAIT – INITIATE!!!

You there! Yes you, reading this thread – let me ask you a question…wait wait….i know you might be getting tired of reading but please – look back towards the screen.

Now – You know that girl who you really like, the one that whenever you see, you get butterflys in your stomach and your throat closes up, and your heart beats a mile a minute – yea you know!

How would you feel if you saw, one day – an ugly looking dude walk upto her, talk to her and get her phone number?

EXACTLY! Whos to blame? Take a look in the mirror mate – its that guy, that chump who was too scared to talk to an harmless little girl, a women whose biggest weapons are her milk sacks hanging from her chest – Does that scare you?

We are put here for a reason, YOU are put here for a reason! Dont waste the chance that you have been given.

Everychance that you waste…is another part of your life destroyed, be that career wise, health wise or sex wise.

- Get out and do!

Try and Fail, Try and Fail and eventually you will reap the rewards of your hardwork, you will reap the rewards of LIFE.

Know what you want, Know who you are…And laugh at all those people who mocked you or are too scared to get what THEY really want in life.

Be the exception…

Enter Mr N.Egative

Lovely post, Shezz. Thumbs up!

What if she does not give me her number then? I turn back to this forum and search for another of your deep and inspiring posts about not indulging to desperation?

Nobody of us will get what he’s looking for. Slowly and painfully, maybe without even noticing it, we’re all bound to mediocrity.

We’re just lying our way out of desperation. I’m so tired of faking charme and confidence. I would like to be loved and cherished for the person I am, not the stereotyped, fake, dull Alpha-male I learned to be by reading all this propaganda.

The truth is that we’re all shallow beings. Girls and boys are quite the same about this. Love, affection and sex are not connected with intelligence or wit, neither with cocky and funny sarcarm nor with framing. It’s just an instinct, which nobody can control. This is why you cannot force nobody to love you.

I’m not saying that your post is useless Shezzler, but I’m sick and tired of all this synthetic optimism. Who said universe should be fair?

…maybe I’m a bit depressed today. It’s safe to stop here. I don’t wanna start flame-wars or such things.

Sarge on… (which means stopping people by the street and ask their number after a minute? Frenetic, shallow and useless world we live in.

But alas – Here comes the Shezz!

The crowd gasps!!!

No body ever said that Life was going to be fair! But by standing aside and watching other people live their lives. take their opportunites and yours – then it becomes a problem.

Sure, you can read all the ‘Propaganda’ that you wish to read, it will give you a quick fix of egoistical confidence, but until you step out into the real world, away from the thousands of seduction and motivation related threads – you will never progress past the point where you are faking.

Where in this post did i say anything about faking life? I never fake my life – life shouldnt be treated as one big lie, it should be lived as on giant Truth!

Love, Affection and Sex arent connected to Wit or Intelligence? I have to disagree with you here my friend, how can you say this? Depending on the type of love – you are right, but since we are here on a seduction website – then Love, Sex and Affection IS connected with Wit and Intelligence – if your saying that it isnt then i believe that you are referring to those three componentes relating to Looks?

Sure – Looks are attractive, and girls are attracted to good looking guys and vice versa – does this mean all is lost for those people who arent good looking? Hell No!!!

By developing your mind, your body and adapting to the world around you – you will become a much more attractive figure in life -as you categorically questioned – who said the universe should be fair? No one!

How can you justify this question against the fact that you are complaining that no-one loves you for who you really are!

Because no-one knows WHO YOU REALLY ARE!!! EXCEPT YOU!!!

That is where YOUR wit, YOUR intelligence and YOUR personality is used to seduce women – thats how women love YOU for who YOU really are!!!

No one will get what hes looking for? Bound for mediocrity? Thats rubbish and you know it – you sound like a guy low on confidence, not just around girls but in life as a whole.

There are no quick fixes, no magic pills and until you realise this, that no WEBPAGE can get you what you are looking for – then and only then can you hope to evolve out of this mediocre rusk of a life that you find yourself in.

Sarging is not just going up to a girl on the street and asking for her number.

Its going out with the intent of meeting women and getting to know them, by the process of elimination – and in all our hearts we all seek that one, that one woman who will love us and cherish us for who we are – thats what sarging is, demonstrating to a women just who you are and finding out about her in return, by means of seduction tactics – not only ones that are tried and tested but through ones that you yourself have invented.

Mr N.Egative Feels Angry – he throws back his head and retorts

You’re quite right Shezzler… but I’m so tired, I’ve been getting so many rejections lately. And you know what bothers me more. It’s not the rejection in itself, but the immense burden of ipocrisy that comes with it.

“I’m just having a bad time, I cannot have a boyfriend…”

“I’m a lesbian…”

“You’re not my type…”

“What the fvck did you just say?”

…I know that, by process of elimination, I’ll find someone, but when we get something after such a long streak of failures, we’re going to never be able to accept to lose it when it will be the time… I don’t know if you can understand this. I’m just tired of all this game – it’s too difficult, why is it so easy for someone that is so shallow and it’s so hard for someone as intelligent, deep and profound about myself?

You’re right indeed, Shezzler, so right it hurts, but I’m just tired today. I hope you all can cope with that. I like to consider you as friends. I rely on friends when I’m feeling bad. So please don’t be mad at my random rants.

And no, I haven’t got low self-esteem. My looks are not bad (4.3 on Hotornot, I must be pretty hot! ), I speak five foreign languages, can discuss any issue you can imagine without problems, and I’m going to be an aerospace engineer in about six months… I’m the best a girl could desire, I think. That’s not self-esteem. It’s that I don’t have the utter esteem in all this seduction thing. We’re making an intellectual war out of an elementary thing. Our culture ruined much of this.

By the way…

Oh yeah, sarge on…

Shezz retakes the Lectern

I sense an overwhelming thickness of sarcasm dripping from your words, aswell as the fact that underneath it all – there seems to be a contrived flame against me.

We are your friends man!

And your right about the fact that we are making an intellectual war out of somthing that is so natural and so easy that it is damn near destroying our social pockets that exist, there is no togetherness between us as a whole race anymore, different segments exist upon different continents – racial segregation separates us and often ends up weakening our bonds, we all have the same blood colour – why is there so much hatred, this hatred all congeals and conspires in escalation towards other areas of life – seduction, health, careers – eventually, If we as a race and WE as INDIVIDUALS dont step up to the plate that is life, then social programming will eventually turn us all socially inept.

Good Luck in Your search

Stand And Fight!!! Enter Mr.AFC!!!

Shezz
I have to say, my thoughts at the moment are along the same lines as Mr N.Egatives (almost exactly) whereas I’m not being rejected, I’m just never trying.
I’d really love to hear from you what encouraged you to motivate yourself to change from a shy person (am I correct in saying this?) to a free, outgoing person. What went through your mind that made you change yourself, what images did you have in your mind when you changed, what were they like? How did you force yourself to overcome that first hurdle?

I have great plans for my life, it’s just taking action on my goals and believing that they’ll bring me happiness that’s the problem.

Shezz is almost spent, the AFCs relentlessness to Sarge is mindnumbing – but he takes to the stand one last time

There comes a point in every persons life where they say…Enough is Enough.

Your right, i was shy, i was socially inept – and the change all came down to one thing and one thing only – my lack of ability with women – upto the age of 17.5 – i never even held hands with a girl – Do you know how heart breaking and demoralising that can be on a kid that already as self-esteem issues? Most guys will be able to connect with that – some being bullied, some lightly teased, not fitting in, acne – not having as much stuff as other kids – getting teased for that?

This dosnt matter – but for kids growing up – ITS HARD NOT FOR IT TO MATTER!!!

How the hell can they become PUA’s when they can’t even pick up their own life? Its emotional torture, why should they try? People make them look ridiculous without the attempts – so any attempts at talking to girls will be scorned..SURELY?

Remember how, the hottest girl of the school looks at you like your some kind of stud, she likes you – YES SHE DOES, but social programming throughout life and in the tiny oyster that is school as taught that hottie that going after the nerdy guy – no matter how good looking he is -HE IS THE NERDY GUY!

Society has programmed it – He has defined it!

To overcome this barrier, that guy must overcome the veil that clouds his mindset -he must become the prize, he must know that HE IS THE PRIZE – thats what i did.

I went out and talked to strangers – greeted them – it was hard, DAMN HARD! BUT IT MUST BE DONE!
I went to clubs – at first i sucked, it took me around 2 months to get good at club approaches! But i wanted to get good! So i did! I worked hard on my inner game, something that i had long neglected – outer game is just a little piece!

Its all about WHAT YOU WANT in life – and if that thing That YOU want isnt enough to instill the will, the determination and drive into you – then nothing is.

It is hard, life is hard – but thats what makes it so fun – its a game! and every step should be enjoyed – fuck what anyone else thinks!

YOU are the prize -get out and live like it!

Sarge On…

With that, Shezz disappeared into a cloud of smoke…The Nightclubs were open – and while the AFCs continued to ignore, and read on – he went out and sarged

-Shezz

Discuss this post in the NEL Forums.

by sytaylor

To Whom It May Concern:

As the seduction community becomes more open and in the mainstream, it seems young men who are tying its techniques for the first few times are been crucified by the media and a large number within society. These guys who have never had success with women are being punished by society for trying to improve their lives. They are working hard to achieve a goal and the firs thing society does is turn around and say STOP. If they were advancing ANYTHING other than their success with women, we’d be all for it. If the community was a fashion community women would think its adorable… yet the seduction community is assumed to be full of tricksters.

I personally take offence with this view, I have never intentionally misled a woman I care about enough to sleep with. Nor shall I. Running routines is such a tiny part of what game is about, these guys have never talked to women before, how can they expect to “be themselves” and be successful with women. Yet this is seen as tricking a woman into bed, and something to watch out for. These guys have to learn somehow, they are the guys that couldn’t get a woman, and now someone gave them tools THAT WORK, and we turn around and tell them they’re wrong? This absurd, unfair and hypocrisy of the must unjust nature.

There is a belief in society that “who you are” cannot be wrong. Your opinions can be wrong, your beliefs can be but who you are is something you have to stay true to. Who you are can be a neurotic mess, but you should still “be yourself just not neurotic”, this is clearly absurdity. I am still me, I still feel the same emotions I just know how to handle social situations better. This doesn’t invalidate my emotions at all. The fact that these men are using a routine to pick someone up is the exact same as girls who make their boyfriends do stupid magazine tests. It is meaningless fun designed to show you a guy you would ordinarily not look at.

Women have long complained that they keep going for the wrong guy. So finally the guys who are right for them find a way to get the attention of attractive women, and how does society respond? It doesn’t like it one bit! What are we not supposed to rise above our physical station?! Not on my watch. These are the guys who haven’t had women their whole lives, these are the guys who can actually bring depth to a relationship. They are the most deserving on the planet they are TRYING HARD to overcome the crap YOU in society have forced down their throat. They WILL become successful whether you like it or not because this stuff WORKS. When they do, they will K-NOW that they don’t need routines ANYMORE because they have become someone who is CONFIDENT with women.

They will be being themselves when they have LEARNED HOW TO. Many people expect quiet and shy people to actually be like that deep down, to not have any real personality. This to me is society’s real crime. This is something society should be ASHAMED of. It has been forcing these guys the wrong message for decades, and now it tries to blame us for helping them? I don’t accept it. How come it is ok to learn how to progress in your career? It is ok to learn how to dress well? It is ok to learn how to be good at sports? Yet suddenly when we learn how to be good with women we become tricksters? This is pure hypocrisy

I will fight the corner of any guy who is the unfortunate recipient of negative comment or abuse for their efforts to improve their social life. I start with this letter.

To the Gents in the community just starting out. Do not let people who discourage you get you down or stop you. They don’t want you to be successful with women; they don’t believe it’s possible, but we know different. You can learn to share the beauty of a woman as a person and physically, and your life will be better for it. Long live routines, long live the game, long live The Game!

-sytaylor

(www.themajesticself.com)

Discuss this post in the NEL Forums.