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There’s a common mindset that people have when they start learning to be good with women, which is the idea that they can do some studying or get some kind of shtick (how do you spell that?) which will eliminate rejection/failure completely. The ‘right’ way is learned, and the ‘wrong’ way that gets the undesired result will never happen. I thought I’d throw some ideas about that out, that’s what this post is about. There are several things wrong with this way of thinking:

1) Lack of character/confidence

2) Wrong orientation of results

3) Wrong interpretation of ‘failure’/Lack of knowledge about the process of learning a skill

4) State is key

I’ll go through these one by one.

1) Lack of character/confidence

If you’re concerned about doing something wrong, or what others think, you are automatically placing yourself one step below these people, who probably don’t care about you. If you open a set in a public place, get blown out, and someone is looking, would that bother you? With a strong character, it would not affect your state or frame…it would be like a bullet bouncing off robocop. Luckily, repeated exposure to this event (along with the correct interpretation of it), will assuage that response and eventually remove it. As will changing your thoughts… reframing negative interpretations of events into positive ones until it becomes automatic to do so. A strong character is undisturbed by failure, will take something positive from it (a learning lesson, motivation for future success), and keep pushing towards goals. A lack of character is intertwined with…

2) Wrong orientation of results

Your goal is not what you think it is. You think it is to talk to 10 girls today, or to get a kiss or whatever. But in actual fact, your goal is “not embarrass myself today and perform all my pick up activities within the umbrella of non-embarrasment.” Your focus is on what you don’t want to happen, rather than what you do, therefore such things that effect your goal are brought into your conscious attention, and given emotional relevance so that you notice them. You fix this by keeping in your focus the actual thing you want, short term and long term. Getting a result you don’t want is irrelevant, it is a small incident along your way to what you do want, and besides, you have a…

3) Wrong interpretation of failure/Lack of knowledge about the process of learning a skill

No one succeedes without failing along the way. No one has the easy rise to wherever they are. No one. This is a fact of life, but the difference between people that make it and those that do not is the way they interpret failure. Failure is not failure, it is feedback to guide you towards what you do want. It is a success in finding something a way that did not work. It is also data for your subconscious mind to assimilate, so that in similar instances in the future your instincts with be slightly more honed towards success. Think about another skill to illustrate this, say shooting 3 pointers in basketball. With every shot you miss, your mind assimilates the muscle activations and adds that data to the next shot you take. The bigger your ‘database’ is, the more accurate your shots are. However, what about those times when a basketballer (or any sportsperson), PUA or whatever is ‘off’ and keeps missing despite the large database?

4) State is key

The memories and information in your brain are linked to emotional states. The most productive one is the state of ‘flow’, which everyone knows of, and is also called being ‘in the zone’. This is the state in which you are most able to access the data you need from your brain; your lack of thought and analysis gives you free access while time seems to fly by. Once the basketball player takes a shock to his state (and it happens to the best at some point: people are not infallible), and moves out of flow, access to the database is inhibited, and access to other ones is opened, such as other times he lost state, which is not associated with a database for good performace. So back to PU, you take the above steps to removing this mindset, get into positive states, reframe etc, and start building experience. Your confidence grows and as you are in this state often, you can access your best skill, which makes your confidence grow etc. But at some point you’ll take a hit. The better pick up artists are the ones that can put the hits out of their minds, stop dwelling on them and start again (go to step 1).

OK just some ideas there which work for me and others. Any thoughts, comments, or advice of your own about changing this mindset into a positive, success seeking one? Anyone going to try this?

by Colonel

There are several differences but when I was there, there were a lot of things particularly in Mystery’s stuff that I previously didn’t ever see in the UK but now I do. I also think it’s because he lives in Vegas and lives the Vegas lifestyle which may or may not differ from the rest of the USA.

This can only be applied to my experiences there, because it is a holiday resort and chicks are often looking for action so it may have given me a warped sense of the USA, perhaps we should title this differences between UK and Vegas, anyway who fucking cares really?

First things first, generally speaking British people tend to be more reserved and less friendly towards strangers, this manifests itself when you do approach that they immediately think that ‘you want something’ or your intentions are sinister/immoral or generally not good. British people often think that if someone approaches them on the street or in a shop then they want them to buy something or take part in a survey. This makes me realise that approaching girls outside of socially acceptable places such as bars is much much more difficult here in the UK than it is in the USA. I found approaching a whole lot easier over there and I think approaching here is harder because you get less AI’s

AI’s, I’m not saying we don’t get them here in the UK but American chicks seem to be a lot more interested in checking you out and smiling at you as they walk past or are hanging out in a bar or in a shop or wherever really. This makes the whole PU thing a lot easier over there because you get them a lot more frequently! Again this may be a Vegas thing.

Peacocking, again when I am in the UK I sometimes look a bit ‘out there’. Me and my friend jumped into 2 girls photos and we started chatting and the girls asked us if we were in a band presumably because we were dressed like rock stars- I loved that bit! Anyway you can really get away with drawing attention to yourself here much more.

Buying shit for women. This is a big one. In the USA the women are far more shallow and are interested in men purely on the basis of buying drinks, presents, flowers or whatever, or in other words how much money they have.

It’s all about displays of wealth, especially in Vegas. The hottest women were like flies around shit if the man was flashing the cash, or sitting in a particular part of the club that he had paid a great deal of money for the privilege of being there. I met a group of guys that paid $750 EACH to sit in the VIP room of a nightclub called PURE. I told him if I had all the money in the world I wouldn’t be paying $750 to sit in a nightclub, everybody in earshot laughed at these guys because I made them look like the fools that they were.

The vast majority of British women are to a degree more interested in men because of their personalities and the way they make them feel which I have to applaud them for. I am sure American chicks are like that too deep down, but culturally it at least appears they get told to go for the rich men with good jobs. I do think that British women also go for looks a fair bit more though on the downside. This is why I respect the original PUA’s that worked this shit out. The community there were going against the doctrine and realizing it’s all about how you make a woman feel and not about how much money you have.

Discrepancies in looks. Generally speaking I saw a lot of really hot girls with some pretty average looking guys. They were not PUA’s, but they were probably lawyers, doctors or whatever. In the UK generally speaking people tend to end up with similar levels on the looks scale. I think this is again down to our reserved ness as a nation, the fact that public displays of wealth are frowned upon so girls go for men based on looks more but as a PUA it’s possible to go against the norms.

Looking high status or Alpha in a bar/mixing sets. This was way easier over there. The people that think they are high status reserve tables and try to look wealthy, the girls would visit the tables for free drinks. My wing and I would hover in the middle and meet all the chicks and introduce guys to the chicks we didn’t want. Before we knew it we had the guys buying us drinks, and we looked like the leaders of the group and we all know what they get! I found this really easy over there, in the UK doing that kind of shit is really hard.

IOI’s You have to make sure you don’t misinterpret IOI’s as an English man in the USA. As English man if you get any three IOI’s of any description from a girl then you’re in! In the USA there are IOI’s and then there are the ‘real’ IOI’s that convey ‘real’ sexual interest.

Kino, American chicks are much more responsive to kino than British girls are, again it’s down to the cultural reserved ness I think. This goes out the window when British girls drink and their social inhibitions reduce which leads me to.

Alcohol Consumption. There is a huge discrepancy to what American Chicks and British chicks drink. I realised that alcohol in the UK is the lubricant that enables us to meet and have sex, if we didn’t have it as a nation there would be a whole lot less sex going on! I saw some drunken American girls and they lost so many of their inhibitions I would consider it to be totally immoral to take a chick like that home.

Negging. It worked a whole lot better over there than in the UK. When you neg a British girl, especially a hot one, she will think that you are taking the piss and either laugh or tell you to fuck off. In the USA they take EVERYTHING you say literally so this shit works over there much better, but don’t get me wrong it still works pretty well over here!

Humour. I didn’t realize how witty we actually are as a nation, I had huge groups of people laughing their heads off, and I don’t think I am a particularly funny person! The one thing you have to be careful of in the USA is sarcasm, they just don’t get it. When I am being sarcastically funny which us brits love the Americans take it literally and believe the sarcasm. I think us Brits are naturals with the C&F now I have met ‘real life’ Americans on their own patch!

Grinding on the dancefloor. An American chick will rub her ass against your dick and grind and not even see that as a sexual move. If a British girl did that I would have her out of the club and into a taxi in seconds! It’s totally socially acceptable over there. The dancefloor is a bad place for PU in the USA I feel. I tended to hover around the edges and get them when they wanted a rest, which is to be fair what I do here. If your a nightclub dancefloor specialist then be careful over there!

This is the best one. If you are British and you happen to be in the states then you are ON. I think it’s that evolutionary thing from way back when we lived in small communities, the women wanted to have sex with men from far away to lessen the risks of inbreeding. We are men from far away but speak their language and have a sense of humour. How cool is that?!!

In summary I think it is harder for us than it is for them, my feeling is a good British PUA would absolutely wipe the floor with what was considered to be good out there. We train in a much more hostile environment!

The Colonel

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by Colonel

My wing and I were discussing our previous nights activities on the way back from Leeds on Sunday and we came to the conclusion that the better looking a girl is the LESS likely she is to get approached.

We all know that UG’s don’t get approached, unless its at the end of the night and the AFC’s are mortal and activate ‘caveman mode’!

We firmly believe that the girls that get approached more than any others are the 5’s 6’s and 7’s. The reason for this is straightforward. Your ‘Average Joe’ will find it difficult enough to approach chicks as it is, he will be unwilling to go outside of his comfort zone any further than he already is by approaching a chick that he believes is ‘above his station’ and therefore will settle on a 5,6 or 7.

I have found that the girls in this category are the ones that get approached more simply because they appear ‘more approachable’ to your normal everyday man. I would not describe a guy that has the confidence to approach strange women as an AFC simply because they are a bit higher up the scale.

I was gaming a 10 a while ago and one of the things she said to me was that she hardly ever got approached in clubs by anybody, well that’s a bit of a lie, she got her ass felt a lot and got a lot of extremely drunk blokes who presumably had built up a lot of Dutch courage but couldn’t speak to save their lives!

She could not remember the last time a normal/cool stranger had struck up conversation with her in any situation! She does notice always about 20 guys ‘in the vicinity’ looking at her, which, incidentally, she hates!

All of her boyfriends had come from social circle (an impressive social circle to be fair) and she had about 20 guys that kept in regular contact, that were her ‘male friends’. These utter fools didn’t realise what frame they had put themselves into!!

Anyway my point is this; don’t assume that because a chick is a 9 that you are not good enough for her because she probably hasn’t met a cool guy in a bar for months, if ever!

She will get attention but who wants some drunken lecherous fucking wanker grabbing their arse or talking utter shit to them?

My wing proved this (he approaches anything without fear) when he managed to pull a chick that appears regularly in The Sport (she was a 9) on Saturday night!

- Colonel

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by Guitar_Whizz

Hey guys, had a day 2 last wednesday night with a 25 yr old girl I met in Chester a few weeks ago. She lives in Crewe which is about an hour on the train from Manchester. Usually I wouldn’t bother travelling so far for a day 2, but since I’d been flaked on by a chick with an angry boyfriend this week, I thought I’d go and see this girl. Here’s what happened:-

THE MEET UP

She met me at the station, got into her car and we drove to Sandbach, a nearby town, to find a venue for a drink and something to eat. I just made small talk in the car at first and kept myself in a talkative, high-energy mood.

THE FIRST VENUE

We had a light meal in a bar/eating place, not a really fancy place but a nice casual environement where we could chat and be relaxed. I don’t usually have meals on day 2s, but there can be expections. NEVER go to an expensive restaurant for a day 2, but a relaxed bar that happens to serve food is ok.

So we chatted for a while, just started talking about what we’d been up to recently, then the usual questions about where we live, family, work, career aspirations etc. Got her laughing and busted on her for being so healthy and ‘prim and proper’ – I told her I bet she had a naughty side that was waiting to be let out, she seemed to love this kind of flirting! The conversation got round to deeper, more personal topics, but I maintained the self control not to reveal TOO much about myself all at once.

KINO

I decided to test her sexual interest level by kinoing her (made an excuse to touch her hands by asking to look at her ring). She responded well, so I knew she was up for it.

WHO PAYS FOR THE DRINKS/MEAL?

This was solved easily – when the food bill arrived she just said ‘let’s just pay half each’. That’s the best way to deal with it in my opinion.

VENUE CHANGE

We went to another bar and talked more. By this time we were flirting way more, putting sexual innuendo into the conversation, and kinoing like mad.

ANOTHER LOCATION CHANGE

The more location changes on a day 2 the better! This gives the illusion you’ve been together longer. I suggested going for a walk after we left the second bar. She said there was a nice country track that we could drive to, so we got in the car and drove there. It was an old disused railway track, and since the weather was good it was perfect. As soon as we got out of the car she went to hold my hand so I knew immediately that the first kiss was imminent. We walked for half a mile or so, then stopped to look at some horses. I made an excuse to be face to face with her, put my arm round her waist, looked her in the eyes and leaned in a kissed her. To be honest she wasn’t the best kisser, but it was ok. Is it me, or do women stop using tongue on kisses once they get into their 20s? Personally I love the ‘frantic tongue kisses’ that teenage chicks (16-19yr olds) do, why don’t older chicks kiss like that?

ISOLATION TO SEX VENUE

After the kiss we were walking back to her car and I mentioned I had an hour or so before my train home, and that I HAD to get that train otherwise I’d be stranded. Once back in her car I wanted to go back to her place, but didn’t want to ask directly as that’d kill it. So I just said ‘hmm, I’m thinking what to do now…I’ve got an hour til my train’, and she replied ‘i’d invite you round for a cup of coffee but I have no milk’. sensing my opportunity, I said ‘it’s ok, I don’t take milk anyway, I suppose I’ll have time for a quick cup of coffee before my train’. So we drove to her house.

AT THE SEX LOCATION

So we get to her house, I comment on how tidy it is, just keep talking etc while she makes the coffee. Next we sit on her sofa, casually watching tv, I kino her by hand holding and putting my hand on her thigh, then get closer to her and turn to face her more. Nerves started to kick in because I KNEW a shag was on the cards, so I started kissing her and jesus she literally raped me on the spot! The kissing got more frantic and lots of body fondling occurred. Easily managed to get her top and bra off, she took my shirt off, and so on. Upper body fondling continued and she was loving it….

LAST MINUTE OBJECTIONS

….I THOUGHT this must be a shag, but when I went to undo her trousers she said ‘they’re fine as they are’. It was getting close to my train time, but we were still frantically fondling each other, and I can’t remember exactly what was said next but we ended up not doing any more stuff and getting ready to leave and go to the train station. We got in her car and she drove me to the station. We kissed in her car about 4 times and she was like ’see you soon, tonight was fun!’. So I left in a good mood but a bit disappointed that I didn’t finish the shag off.

SHE TEXTED ME ON THE WAY HOME

As I was waiting for my train I got a text from her saying she had enjoyed the night, she thought I was a decent guy and that I’m welcome to stay over any time I like. She also said that I could’ve stayed that night but she didn’t wanna give off too keen signals. Also, she said she wanted to see me again and possibly venture with strawberries and cream next time (private little joke we had!)

- Guitar_Whizz

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by Colonel

Last year when I was in Birmingham I had a brief flirtation with internet dating and I got shitloads of response from it, there was one spell where I went 13 consecutive days meeting up with chicks!

I had 4 regulars on the go for months, but in a 6 month period from Jan-June last year I slept with around 20 chicks. The majority were internet but I also had a fuck buddy on the go up North and a couple of ‘random’ one night stands as well.

It was crazy but I’ll give you an insight into how I coped with it….

Each girl I decided was going to be advanced to the sex stage I got them into a situation where I would probably go out on 2 or 3 ‘dates’ and then after that it was sex.

After sex I would decide if it was worth continuing. If it wasn’t I would either ignore them (not a good idea) or say thanks but no thanks.

With the ones I decided to advance to sex, thereafter it was strictly round at my place or round at their place. I rarely spoke to them other than to arrange the next meet up (and that was usually once a week). I would occasionally text or email them, maybe 1 text and 1 email a week (this was after I had fucked them remember).

My regulars probably suspected something was going on with other chicks but they never really asked and I never really told, maybe this is they way to handle it now as well?

I once got one chick that I had fucked a couple of times and she was blonde, she hit the fucking roof when she found a long black hair in my bed!! if it was now I would say, ‘I’m seeing other women’. At that time I simply said ‘Next’.

It was really hard work and there were times I was thinking, what I wouldn’t give to sit in on my own watching Sky Sports!!

Nice problem to have though……

• Questions:

How do you handle such a situation? I have thought of getting a little black book and keeping a list of the girls I’ve met, and a few notes about where I’m up to with them and when I’m due to meet them.
(guitar_whizz)

This is a good idea, I did similar, I also programmed reminders into my phone and outlook so I knew when to call or meet up with these chicks

Another thing, if you’re just seeing a girl as a fuck buddy, then after I’ve fucked her a few times would it be acceptable to ditch her for good or just keep her on the backburner? If I kept her on the backburner and didn’t contact her for a few weeks or months I wonder if a shag would still be out of the question? I texted a girl I met in january the other day, yet she was up for talking to me.
(guitar_whizz)

Once a chick is in ‘Fuck Buddy’ frame there is no limit to the amount of time between contacting and having sex with them. I was supposed to be meeting an FB from Birmingham who now lives in Leeds last weekend for 2 hours, for sex on Sunday afternoon. It was only becuase of a minor glitch that I didn’t. I haven’t fucked her for 10 months and I speak to her once a month at most, mostly about who else I have fucked recently.

You must keep some form of contact going though.

On another occasion I had severed ties with 2 FB’s and then realised I was going to be in Birmingham for another month so I simply picked up the phone, called them, gave them some shit excuse and got access to sex again!

Final question, how is good to go about telling a girl that you don’t want her as a girlfriend but just as a fuck buddy? I mean, if I was to say it directly she might feel used, I dunno.
(guitar_whizz)

Basically if you have a chick and you text her once a week and shag her once a week, that frame has ‘fuck buddy’ written all over it. She will accept that frame and go with it (some may hope more will come of it obviously)

I have realised all this shit is subliminal and girls just assume different frames that you set for them. Women look for men to lead, be in control and set the frame. I don’t think you should ever say to a chick ‘you’re my fuck buddy’.

What you will find is that after a time she will say that to you. This may well be a shit test but at the end of the day if she understands the frame then you have done it right.

This is in contrast to ‘Girlfriend Frame’ That frame involves multiple texts and phonecalls, seeing her twice a week or more, doing activities and going for walks and shit together, eating in restaurants, having ’serious’ conversations you get the picture……

You may find your girls may just assume GF frame and initially at least will try to text you a lot and shit. If you don’t want that make sure you just act in FB frame and they will come into line.

Also I have realised by having several chicks on the go at once you become very non needy. In fact you don’t give a fuck about them and this makes you look very confident and they love it!

I belive that men become needy with chicks because they don’t have other options. Women become needy for very different reasons, but that’s another post!

Maybe it is better to say casually you are dating other chicks? It’s a tough one, but by writing this I think I have answered my own questions as well, so thanks for that!

One thing though, in the past I have had girls say to me (after only 1 or 2 dates) ‘are we an item then?’. In one case I really liked the girl and was happy to be ‘going out’ with her, but I actually had to say to one girl ‘well I prefer to get to know a girl before getting too serious’. So basically, was I on the right lines, or is there something better I could say if I get asked the dreaded question ’so are we an item?’.
(guitar_whizz)

You could just do a bit of humour and say something like, ‘That’s so 1920’s’ and then say my Grandma used to come out with shit like that and say stuff like ‘are you courting’ and then change the subject quickly! You didn’t answer the question and just busted her on it.

Alternatively you say something like. Erm I’ll have to get my people to look into it and I’ll get back to you on this, OK? and smile!

Make sure you make it humourous so you are in the ‘I’m joking’ frame but of course as Dave D says, never give a straight answer unless it’s no!

The other issue was ensuring they didn’t find out about each other.
(xavier)

It was in Birmingham, it’s a big city. At one point I had the city divided into Zones, like ‘New Dates Zone’ ”2nd Date Zone’ and seriously considered having 2 phones as well.

For some of the time I had this french guy lodging with me as a favour to a mate for a couple of months and he was the biggest player I have ever seen! The cliches are all true!

In his room he had endless clothes racks with about 50 designer suits, and had about 3000 pairs of shoes. Real good looking smooth mother fucker, half italian half arab and lived in France all his life, never saw him with less than a HB9, You can imagine!!!!

He had 5 on the go at one time, we had to be real careful non of the girls ever met in the house just incase one of them realised that I had been with 3 different birds each time she saw me! I had to do the same for him.

Anyway he came unstuck in a bar when he was out with one and another one came over, he said he ‘didn’t ever imagine British women could be so angry’?? WTF!!

The way he dealt with it was by actually physically running out of the bar and leaving the 2 chicks to sort it out amongst themselves. Awesome.

That’s why you never take em out after you have fucked them if you are keeping them all quiet from one and other!!

Hope this helps.

Colonel

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by SteviePUA

I remember being a teenager walking around the local shopping mall and seeing girls all dressed up in sexy clothes. They were made up, wore revealing clothes, great looking hair, do you know the type? You’d see one and your head would turn by itself almost. And I felt incredibly FRUSTRATED because I thought I had nothing of equivalence to offer. I couldn’t wear the same sexy clothes, I couldn’t wear make up (not that I really wanted to!), and I couldn’t make people attracted to me like those super sexy girls could. What the hell did I have to offer? I was a boy.

*Fast Forward*

Today, since getting into the game in the late 90s, I have learned TONS of things that I never knew in my teenage years. One major revelation was that as a guy I CAN project high value, much as those super sexy girls did to me all those years ago. How does a guy project that kind of value? And this IS all about value. He does it through his behaviour, and to a lesser extent status. Using the techniques of the game, we can project very high value to girls once the dynamics are understood.

Why do so many guys pay BIG money for workshops? We are talking, literally thousands of dollars sometimes! It is because they cannot convey value to girls. The answer to creating value is largely an ability to APPROACH and ENGAGE long enough to display personality.

Sure, you have to HAVE a personality to begin with but I sincerely believe most people DO have interesting ideas and aspects of their lives which, if conveyed effectively, are of interest to other people. Part of the skills needed is to calibrate and notice what the other person responds well to. I have developed a technique of early on circling through topics while quickly calibrating for a ‘hit’, i.e. a response (conscious or unconscious) from the person I am interacting with which indicates I have gained a potential in-road into their experience of life and into what is important for them.

The other major understanding is that the very act of non-needily approaching and interacting with a target can demonstrate the same high value to a girl as those sexy girls back in my teenage years demonstrated to me. Being able to open, engage and subcommunicate value through your communication is, in many ways, the EQUIVALENT of displaying sexiness which we see in a HB.

It is not exactly the same though, because whereas we can see a HB and KNOW immediately that she is desirable through how she looks – her body, her face, her age etc, a girl can’t be quite sure that the guy in front of her is as confident and cocky or as genuine (substitute other valuable qualities here at will) as he appears to be at first look. Sure, they will check out how you look, but believe me, how you look is MUCH less important to most girls than you’d think. It’s amazing how they can overlook average looks if you have ‘alpha’ behaviour.

Look at Pete Docherty. He was shagging Kate Moss. Pete is a really average looking guy. He is much uglier than yours truly. Kate wouldn’t look at him if she didn’t know he was a bad boy rock star. It is his behaviour and status that appeal. He is cocky and confident and makes her feel good (sometimes!). Sure he has social status, but so does the PUA in the club who uses rules of social dynamics to create social proof for himself that very night.

To be sure you have value, the girl can ask her friends if you are a famous rock star, she can ask about your job, she can see which car you drive OR test you behaviourly to see if you are really the person you initially came across as. Testing is a GOOD sign. It shows she is thinking of you in a sexual way. Did you ever see a HB shit-test an old guy in his 80s with a walking stick who talks to her in public?

No way!

If she is testing YOU it is a sign that she sees you have sexual potential and wants (usually unconsciously) to find out if you truly are confident, persistent, strong and a real man. She hopes, secretly that you will pass these tests so you can confirm to her that you have all those qualities that she looks for in a real man. Once you are perceived as having those personal qualities which turn her on so strongly, it often doesn’t matter that you lack the Ferrari. The fast car was only ever a shortcut mechanism for screening for value anyway.

The first of these ways of conveying this high personal value is being able to approach and engage her. By not doing this you are showing lesser value. By come across as needy or nervous when you engage her, you are showing lesser value. By not knowing how to keep the conversation going or by wimping out of a close when the time is right, you are showing lesser value. By failing to pass shit tests you are showing lesser value (even if this includes calling her on them or plain ignoring them).

Do the reverse of these and you are in a position to be emanating value in much the same way as those super hot chicks do.

- SteviePUA

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by LuckyPhil

I’m gonna write a guide to what has been working for me for sometime now. A lot of people have been asking about daygame and if you wanna improve in anyway then get into your local town centre. No music, no bitchshields, no bullshit. Great place to run routines and learn PU.

You have to breathe life into what you do, with your eyes, tonality and BL. Like I say it just takes practice.

1. Go to your local shopping centre. Personally I find going into clothes stores full of girls, very good. Every woman is a fashion guru and in general will not blow you out for asking whether garment x looks good for your 21yr old sister etc.

2. Fluff talk/transition/c + f/A2. You will be able to tell very quickly whether they want to speak to you or not. If they do, go to step 3. If not, you can plough, persist and start seeing how far you can push sets and start picking up on her BL to see whether she wants to talk to you or not.

3. Qualify/Mystery’s BHRR/A3. This does work and gets her interested in talking to you more. My favourite qualifiers are “God I could talk to you all day (reward for something she has said of value, NB you have to believe this when you say it)

4. Coffee shop bounce. “You know what I know this place that does the most AMAZING coffees. I was gonna go there, relax (can run SS patterning) and put my feet up… are you coming? If yes lead to coffee house, if no up to you, n close or leave it.

5. Buy her a coffee and say “I’ll get this one, you get the next one”. Be firm when you say this. Leads for a good time bridge and playful callback humour later. Shows you are a gent too.

6. Pure rapport building. Sit somewhere comfy and just talk openly about your life.

7. Use kino throughout. I always run TD’s trust test as I find it funny and it does show you how interested they are.

8. After coffees are finished lead her away and take her arm French promenade style (put it in yours). Take her to look at more clothes or whatever you wanna do and n close.

9. When she is comfortable with this move onto handholding instead. If she has come this far it’s unlikely she’s gonna freak out at this point.

10. When she has to go or makes some excuse to leave, get close to her and k close (GWM*).

This has worked for me plenty of times. First time I k closed doing this I couldn’t believe you could do this. Certainly livens up Sunday afternoons.

The key is to PERSIST. It took me months of cold approachs and blow outs to get this down. Now I have it down and I’m sharing what works for me, enjoy

- LuckyPhil

* GWM = GunWitch Method. See www.gunwitch.com for free resources on the various incarantions of GWM. Gunwitch also has a commercial product, Way of Gun. If you are interested in this, please help us out and purchase through this link: Way of Gun. Cheers!

Discuss this post in the NEL Forums.

by Guitar_Whizz

Note: this is a somewhat controversial post (see discussion link at the end), and Guitar_Whizz makes the following note before reading:

“I would just say to people reading my post this – at the end of the day you can date/kiss/shag/marry whoever you want (as long as they’re legal of course!) and part of being alpha is doing what you like and making your own rules and realities. The points I made in the post are a rough guide, and I hope they heighten peoples’ awareness, however the final judge of whether you get with a girl is you.”

Ok guys, I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while. What I want to discuss is the subject of having standards and not just going for any girl. Basically, as a PUA you should see yourself as a man of high value – you are the prize the girl has to win over. And as you get more ‘tuned in’ to the dating game and become more socially aware, you will start to realise that there are only certain types of girl you will want to date (be it casually, for a relationship or just for a one night stand). I’m talking about personality type mainly, but obviously certain looks of girl want to be avoided too. You will see that most girl just don’t live up to your standards, and you will move on to another girl.

You see, when you’re an AFC, you look at every girl and wish you could be with her, even if she’s got a messed up personality and treats you like sh*t etc. You are just desperate to be with a girl. You will put up with all sorts of bad behaviour from a girl, simply because you know you can’t get anyone else.

But when you become a PUA, you see the bigger picture and start to see what faults certain girls have. After a while you will be able to spot the faults immediately and you can ditch the girl and find another.

So here is a list of the personality types/traits you should avoid. When you’re talking to a girl, you want to be screening for any of these things….if you notice any of these traits, ditch the girl and move on to find someone better:-

LSE (Low Self Esteem) Girls

A girl with low self-esteem will generally have very low self confidence and not like herself very much. This type of girl will often have a negative persepective on life, and that negativety can drag your mood down when you’re with her. LSE girls also cannot find their own source of happiness from within, so they look for a guy to make them happy and to lift them out of their negative state. This results in them being really clingy, over jealous and very needy. And to top it off, they can be prone to moodiness and being over-emotional (as if girls in general aren’t overly-emotional enough. If you notice a girl is an LSE girl, run a mile!

Ugly older/middle-aged women dressed like 19 years olds

When you start going to bars and clubs, you’ll notice an alarming array of women in their late 30s or 40s, or even 50s who insist on dressing in skimpy outfits and act as though they are about 19 years old. Now, if these women were in good shape then you might want to consider a fling with them like a MILF (mother I’d like to f*ck) sort of thing. But the sad reality is, most of these women are DOG UGLY and usually very ‘common’ to talk to. They’re almost OBLIVIOUS to how ridiculous they look, dressed in the way they do at their age. They’re also VERY easy to pull, and will often make the first move on you. Since they’re older and ugly, they won’t be getting much male attention, therefore will be ‘desperate’ for any action. I personally couldn’t stomach shagging one of these types of girl, and would recommend you avoid them at all costs.

Any girl with a ‘rough’ or ‘common’ or ’scally’ sort of look or vibe about her

Depending on where you go, you’ll often meet girls in bars who are really dogged in looks, and a bit ‘thick/common or rough’ in a scally sort of way. For the most part, these are the types of girl who live in the rough council estates, who don’t have a job and claim every state benefit under the sun. You don’t want to waste your time or associate with this type of girl – they’re scum, trust me. Not only that, but since they’re dirt poor, they will expect you to pay for everything. You’ll also NEVER have any kind of meaningful or stimulating conversation with this girl type. Avoid avoid avoid!

Girls who are bitchy for the sake of being bitchy

I’m sure you’ve met the type – those ‘man haters’ who insist on being as rude to every guy as they possibly can. Now I know that most girls have a bitch shield to some extent, and that if you’re a PUA you should be able to break that shield down, BUT there are certain girls out there who are just plain bitches for the sake of it. If you meet one of these types of girls, and nothing you’re doing works, politely wish her a nice evening and move on.

Girls who seem a bit too ‘meek’ or nervous or generally a bit ‘dull and boring’.

You’ll run into this type from time to time – a girl who is probably a good character and maybe even has a good career or whatever going for her, but who is just a bit too ‘meek’ and ‘unfun’ to be with. She may even be good looking, but she is too much of the ‘good girl’ and not really willing to just let go and have fun. I personally wouldn’t date a dull girl like this.

Fat Girls

Do I REALLY need to tell you why you should not be with this type of girl! One other reason why you should avoid being seen with a fat girl, though, is because it will give you BAD social proof. If guys or other girls see you with a fatty, they may see you as lower status because they will think you can’t get anyone else.

Married Women

Now I know that many, many married women will happily shag an alpha/high status male such as us, but do you really want the hassle and the feeling of guilt that goes along with this? I personally don’t see the point in bedding a married chick when there are millions of single, horny girls I could bed instead. But hey, I’m not trying to preach to you – if you want to bag a married woman, that’s your choice. Just beware there could be consequnces if it goes wrong!

Any girl who is just trying to play games or take you for a ride

As a PUA, you should quickly be able to spot this type of girl and move on quickly with your dignity intact. Girls of this type often chat to a guy and try to use him to buy drinks for her, with no intention of kissing or bedding him. Sometimes you’ll find girls who will talk to you, yet have boyfriends in the bar or at home and lead you on and then get their boyfriend to ring you and threaten you. Now I admit this is extremely rare, but you need to be able to spot this type of situation and then leave before it gets any worse. Don’t rise to it, just walk away and find another girl. You might also run into girl who inisist on flirting with you and even arrange a date, but then always pull out at the last minute – not good. They’re just playing games for the sake of it and get a kick out of doing so. As a PUA, you turn it back on her by ignoring her and flirting with other girl in front of her – what how her IL goes up immediately!

———————————————————————–

Now those are the main types I think should be avoided, but I’ll add to this if I think of any more. So now you’re probably asking ‘I’ve screened out all those tyoes, now what type of girl SHOULD I be dating?’.

I think you should be looking for a girl that you’re physically attracted to for a start, And then you want someone who is ‘on your level’, not someone thick or who ‘doesn’t get it’ when you flirt with her. You want a girl you can flirt with who will flirt back, someone who is responsive to kino, someone you can be fun and playful with you yet still be able to have a deeper rapport type conversation with, someone who is not too needy and who you can generally relax and enjoy being with. You want a girl who adds a POSITIVE experience to your life, NOT someone who is high maintenance and a chore to be with.

So if there are so many types you should avoid, is it a lost cause trying to find a decent girl? No! After a while you’ll VERY QUICKLY be able to spot the types I discussed above to avoid, and you’ll KNOW when a girl you’re chatting to falls into the ‘type I should be with’.

Remember, you are the prize, so never settle for anything less than you deserve. You want a girl who lives up to your standards, so never lower yourself to a girl of lower value. Dating is a jungle, but if you follow the advice in this post, you’ll quickly be able to meet quality girls and weed out the psychos.

Best of luck,

Guitar_Whizz

Discuss this post on the NEL Forums.

by Colonel

I have slept with 10 or 11 birds I met on the internet, and met with probably around 30 so I guess I have some experience in this area! I did this in a 3 month period.

I could have slept with more but some were just not my cup of tea!

2 of the girls I pulled I still see and am in touch with and I sleep with them now and again as well. I had 4 on the go at the same time which was hard work but a lot of fun!

Many of the girls on here are really nice genuine girls, one who I am still in touch with earns £80k a year, has her own place and is an 8. I found it hard to believe she used the internet in the first place!

Here are a few tips.

-The best site is www.datingdirect.com (note; this article was written some time ago, and this information may not necessarily hold true for now. If anyone uses this site let me know how it is, and I’ll update this – cas)

-Do this on a month on month off basis, there are lots of advantages to this which you’ll work out for yourself when you do it. You can always use another site such as match.com in your ‘month off’

- When you write your profile get a female friend to read it and re-write bits where necessary

- It’s fairly inexpensive because the first ‘date’ is usually a coffee or a coke and it’s pretty normal practice to go dutch anyway.

- You start the process by an email conversation it’s worth pretty quickly moving to a meet up phase. Generally they always want to meet if they have been emailing anyway.

-It takes 3 dates in my experience before you can sleep with them, I have never had to wait longer then the 4th.

-Women can see how regularly you have logged on to the website, in order to look sincere the best thing to do is email quite a few simultaniously through the site and then suggest that they email you at your hotmail or whatever. You should have 6-8 on the go in this method. Once you have got them all on personal you don’t need to log on to the site. What this means is that they think that you are genuinely into them and not a male slag!

- If you are having multiple girls in this way it’s better to meet up in their local area rather than the city centre, this avoids being seen by other chicks which could be nasty.

- When you first meet them tell them you have only got an hour because you need to meet your sister/friend/whatever afterwards. It’s a good get out clause. If it is going well you can cancel your ’sister’ and tell them you are enjoying spending time with them. It makes them feel good.

- Be really charming and polite and don’t swear if you can help it.

- Although at the time I wasn’t aware I would suspect these would be perfect opportunities to do ‘the cube’ and other personality tests. Chicks love this shit

- A good place for a 3rd date was my place, luckily I live alone, have a nice house which is clean that is tastefully decorated (if I do say so myself!) and I’m a good cook, women really love all that shit and they know they will be staying the night before they come in most cases (Of course they don’t admit it!)

-Once you do have them on the go basically you can culture a girl into seeing them- once a week for sex, as I mentioned I was seeing 4 different ones and I would usually sleep with 3 different girls a week. My brother and his wife lived close by at the time, they were always shocked by the number of women I had in and out of my house!

-Buy yourself a cheap PAYG mobile and have that as your chick phone, it makes life simpler that way, if you get to like them you can always give them your ‘work mobile’ at a later date.

-Have fun!

Colonel